(Closed) Was the first year the hardest?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: I think that...

    The first year of marriage is the hardest

    The first year of marriage is the easiest

    The first year of marriage is the happiest

    The first year of marriage is the most quarrelsome

    Other (please explain)

  • Post # 77
    Member
    1837 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    well i’m only in my first year of being married, but nothing has changed for us since we were dating/engaged (8.5 years before the wedding).  we already had been living together for prob 6.5 years prior to the wedding. i think it will be more of a change for us when we have kids.

    Post # 78
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    The first year was hard but it was mostly because life was hard. We didn’t live together before we got married so that was an adjustment but it was much easier than expected. The hard stuff was death of his grandma, moving twice, being broke , poor health, being in grad school, and being far from both our families. I am grateful for the trials though bc it brought us closer to each other and to God. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    9082 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Our first year was no harder than any other year.

    Post # 80
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee

    I’ve only been married for a year, and we probably won’t make it to year two so yes.

    Post # 81
    Member
    3339 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    Our first year has been the easiest and happiest.  🙂

    Post # 82
    Member
    421 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I can’t exactly say that our first year has been the hardest because we’re barely 1 yr and 4 months into our marriage. What I can say is we argued a lot months after the wedding due to expenses and getting used to the mental idea of being married. I know it can sound strange but it does happen. 

    Then 5 days after our 1 yr wedding anniversay my sister in law (husbands sister) passed away. So of course we were and still are devastated. My husband has not been the same and our marriage has had a lot of strain on it. Weve never gone through a loss so significant and being newly married has brought more challenges with how to deal with grief. We’re pressing through it but I feel that our first year of marriage has been difficult and strenuous at times. 

    Post # 83
    Member
    2085 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Ok so … I’m not married yet, but I have been with my Fiance for 5.5 years, lived together on and off (bc of schooling – not break ups or fights).  I feel like really, what could change?  If that one day, with the dress and the dancing and love and the awesomeness, could somehow magically change anything in our relationship… i don’t get it?  I mean, i guess for couple who maybe haven’t lived together or been intimate, I can see that. 

    But for couples who’ve been together a long time, lived together… why would that first year be any different?

    The only stresses I could foresee for me and Fiance will be that i’ll be paying off student loans then and my job situation might be temporary rather than permanent (I’m finished school in april)…. also we want to save for a house… but I don’t think that will stress me out… I’ll be happy to live in one apartment in one place for a year or more and just relax and take time to save for a house.

    If there’s trouble in that first year, then I’d be willing to bet there’s gunna be a LOT more trouble in the years to come

    Post # 84
    Member
    2085 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    @kryssbride:  I’m so sorry that your family is going through such a hard time… I can’t imagine either of us losing a sibling, or how we would even cope with that.  You’re right, it’s very rare we experience a loss like that.  I hope you are able to lean on each other and family.  Again, so sorry for your loss

    Post # 85
    Member
    3075 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    My husband told me he heard this too , though I haven’t. So far so good but we’re only one year in. 

    Post # 86
    Member
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We lived together for 4 years before getting married, so our first year of marriage hasn’t been any more difficult. In fact, it’s gotten easier if anything (but don’t ask me why). We’re more intimate, and we rarely fight anymore. I have no energy for fighting, actually. Any time someone gets upset I’m like, “You know. This is my day off. I don’t have time to be upset. Hey, husband, look at this funny cat video.”

    Post # 87
    Member
    377 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Payless:  I have only been married for 6 months so far but being married has been so much more fun and exciting than being bf and gf, there were many arguments about when to get engaged and settle down when we were just bf and gf and when we finally got engaged there were all the wedding plans to think of and we got married just 9 weeks after he popped the question. 6 months later we are both the happiest we ever have been and i dont think it will fade any time soon =]

    Post # 88
    Member
    368 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2000

    @Payless:  

    We met three months before we got married, but lived together from the third date (about two weeks in?). In the first year we moved apartments, tackled immigration law, both switched jobs, and I—from out of nowhere—was hospitalised for nine days with what turned out to be Multiple Sclerosis.

    But you know what? I can recall that list of facts, but I don’t remember it as feeling particularly difficult. Once we knew I was able to stay in the country, everything else just seemed so minor. I also remember the first big snow our city’s had in a really long time, I remember cuddling in front of our fireplace, I remember finding Saturn through the telescope on that freeeeeeezing night that summer. I remember a lot of laughter. The same thank-god-no-one-else-can-see-us-or-we’d-be-commited laughter I heard this morning.

    Post # 89
    Member
    3277 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @Payless:  

    Our first year was difficult due to factors outside of our marriage.

    We are in our third year now and doing well. 

     

     

     

    Post # 90
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Payless


    our first year is pretty hard. idk if it will be the hardest. This year weve bought a new commicial fishing boat. our livly hood. it has cost us two loans due to things unseen. so money is now tight. weve had to post pone our honeymoon for this fall. but hes had to spend most of our first year in a different town. (our home base is on an island so no driving) When he has come back its been super nice but hard after living apart and set in our ways. i think its just him being so far away working constantly… our one year is in may. hes almost on his way home but will have to go back to his actual job, fishing for pretty much the whole summer. so our first year has been a lot of LDR. But i do feel its a bit romantic, like in most movies when life calls a husband away and the wife anxiously awaits his arival. there are prob harder years to come but i cant imagine anything harder then him being gone so long.

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