(Closed) Was this a racist thing to say?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@anon00:  Sounds like SO was being overly sensitive and trying hard to be PC!  Don’t put yourself in that situation anymore!

Post # 4
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@anon00:  You didn’t say “every Mexican person around me frightens me right now”, so no, I don’t think it sounds racist. I can see how it might come off that way if every person around you was of the same race (a different race than your own), but it doesn’t seem like you meant it that way.

Post # 6
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Nope, not racist. If it’s a bad area in town and it’s 1am, I would also be freaked out, regardless of the predominant race in that area of town.

Post # 7
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anon00:  it wasn’t racist but it was still definitely judgmental. 

Post # 9
467 posts
Helper bee

Men can be a little stupid about safety conceerns, at least in my experience.  The just don’t get bothered the way women do.  I’m not saying they don’t get mugged, robbed and raped, but my tall, muscular SO can walk down a street late at night without attacting any attention.  If I walk down the same street by myself 5 minutes later, I WILL attact A LOT of attention.  Its just how life is, and so women are just more careful because we are constantly being reminded that we are not safe (at least in my experience).  

Your comment was not racist.  You were scared, and you were probably right for being scared.  I think your boyfriend was being wicked PC.  I don’t care what race you are, if a large group of guys are standing around doing nothing late at night, I’m going to be nervous.  

Being judgemental is a good thing sometimes.  We have to make judgments to keep ourselves safe.  I live in NYC, and if I didn’t make judgments about people and situations, I would often find myself in places that are dangerous and would be opening myself up to criminals.


Post # 10
567 posts
Busy bee

Not racist.  If you feel threatened around gangs and make an obervation like “people rounf here make me uneasy” as opposed to “specific race/culture people round here make me uneasy” then you are not racist. Sometimes people are to quick to point out any potential non-PC statements.  There were men all around at 1am then of course you are likely to say that they are making you feel uneasy, no matter what their race.

Post # 12
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Not racist at all.  If you don’t feel safe I think you have the right to express that concern. It’s not like you said it loud so they could hear it.

Post # 13
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m going to play devil’s advocate here, just for the sake of the argument. I’m not going to say whether or not you’re racist  because I really think it’s silly to imagine that any of us can pass judgement on your (or any other) situation, especially after hearing one side of the story.

In a situation like that, his statement may have meant that your behavior was racist, not your words. All reasonable polite adults know what to avoid saying when they don’t want to be racist, but behavior, especially nervousness and fear, is much harder to control. Perhaps he was seeing the same situation as you were, but he thought that it wouldn’t seem frightening to you if everyone around you belonged to a race you’re more comfortable with.

Again, none of us can possibly know what you saw (I believe you that it might have been legitimately frightening) or what exactly your SO meant, but racism goes deeper than words. I’m not saying you’re racist, but just remarking on situations like this in general. If it bothers you, as I assume it would bother anyone to be considered racist by a loved one, you should really just ask him what exactly he meant and let him know that it upset you to be accused like that. 

Post # 14
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

It was more prejudiced and classist than racist. I get that you were afraid becuase it’s 1am in a bad neighbourhood, but I kind of got a ‘poor people are scary!’ vibe off of your post, OP. 

Post # 15
2602 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It was an area known for gang activity and homicides, and it was late at night. I don’t think that’s racist or classist or prejudiced. Whatever color the people were, if they look like gangbangers in a gang area, it’s common sense to feel nervous. In fact, it would be common sense to avoid that area late at night entirely.

Post # 16
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think this was a situational things that serves as a bit of a life lesson – maybe for both of you. You can learn to be a bit more confident in an uncomfortable situation, and may be your SO can acknowledge that your feelings didn’t mean racism… I think they just came from the uncomfortable feeling of being somewhere at a time you’d rather not be there.

The topic ‘Was this a racist thing to say?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors