(Closed) Was this mean?

posted 13 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
44 posts
  • Wedding: May 2008

You did the right thing! RSVPs are sent for a reason.  We were amazed at how clueless many of our guests/friends were in regards to sending in their response card in a timely manner with the names of those attending.  Basics Mom and Dad taught me way back when… 

Angiepie – right on!  Boundaries are extremely important – something I learned AFTER planning the wedding.  Wish I would’ve clued in earlier.


Post # 18
17 posts

I know this kind of stuff is going to happen with our family and group of friends, because in the circle I grew up in… RSVPs were not customary, there was no dinner & dancing at the reception- just cake, punch and the bouquet toss. Anyone could come who wanted to… just bring a gift. AHH! (Does anyone else in the whole wedding planning universe know what I’m talking about?!)

 ANYWAY, back on point, I know this is going to be a problem so I already decided to have the wedding out of town to save myself from the trouble of uninvited guests (among other reasons) but reading this & all the responses lets me know that I will be justified in saying no. So I don’t think you’re mean at all.

Post # 19
17 posts
  • Wedding: October 2008

you were not mean! period. You did the right thing at this point in the game.

Post # 20
56 posts
Worker bee

<span style=”font-size: 7.5pt; font-family: ‘Verdana’,’sans-serif'”>Bravo! I’m so proud of you! I would have and will do the exact same thing. My wedding is in 16 days. We had a friend who we had not heard from (who’s out of town wedding we just attended this spring) not RSVP. My fiancé called him, left several voicemails, texted him, and emailed him and nothing. And finally two days ago he said, so sorry but he couldn’t come. My Fiance wrote back, "you just now thought to let us know this after we have tried to contact you for weeks, and weeks?" The dude felt really guilty and said so, but i think it was the right thing to say.

<span style=”font-size: 7.5pt; font-family: ‘Verdana’,’sans-serif'”>My head count is due tomorrow  as well as my final catering check and if I have any "surprises" I will not hesitate to call and tell them it’s too late. I’m sorry but nothing angers me more than poor etiquette! Especially from people who are fresh off of a wedding and know the drill!


Post # 21
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

😐  i had rsvp no earlier this month on the date of the deadline (she did online rsvp) but then 5 days later i decided i’ll suck it up and spend the money cause i really wanted to go, so i called my friend first before i booked the flight… i think that’s the least he could have done was to ask you if he’s going to be late on the rsvp or give you a heads up….

Post # 22
8 posts
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it sounds like he is not close to you, so it is better he is not coming. As much as possible, you should have only the people you will be genuinely happy to see. Don’t give it another thought, and Happy Wedding!

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