(Closed) Was this my fault?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
85 posts
Worker bee

I’m in two minds about this. It’s really strange that someone would go off based on nothing. I don’t think her behaviour is okay no matter what, but yeah it’s really weird for someone to go nuts over nothing at all.


As for your partner, maybe he’s trying to ignore it all until it dies down a bit. Perhaps he might feel like defending you will only piss off his friend and end his friendship. It sounds to me like he just wants all of the drama to go away and that he’s refusing to engage in it.

Post # 5
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Was she drunk? I can’t imagine someone just going off like that for no reason. It doesn’t sound like you’re in the wrong from what you’ve said. It seems to me she is just painting a picture to her family that doesn’t put you in a good light. Others might be more inclined to believe it if they are close to her and trust her.

Post # 6
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@neroli91:  I hope there’s more to this story?  Cuz otherwise it just sounds like the grooms entire family was crazy drunk.

From what you’ve said, no I don’t think you did anything wrong.  Have a talk with your SO about what did and mostly what didn’t happen and try to figure things out from there.

Post # 7
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Um no you did absolutely nothing wrong. If his gf is a crazy bitch that isn;t your fault and your SO should be telling them to fuck right off. 

Post # 8
31 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

If it all happens as you say it did, you did nothing wrong.

Possibly the man did on a another occasion though, and his wife is hypersensitive.

Post # 9
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

From what you’ve said… Nope you did nothing wrong.  He added you to FB at the wedding?  

Poor Poor girl, they must have a very “interesting” marriage.  That said, I think you need to have a frank open discussion with YOUR SO about what happened.  Ask him why he isn’t defending you to them.  He has probably some sense of huge loyalty to this family, but he should be on your side in this.  This could be a great conversation about the future and expectations, or it could be a disaster.  You still need to have the conversation with him tho. 

Post # 10
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unless something is missing from this story, she sounds jealous and controlling. Maybe that’s the norm in their family, but she sounds like a total nutter to me. Based on what you’ve said, you didn’t do anything wrong.

Post # 12
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@neroli91:  I wouldn’t have added the Brother-In-Law if he was married because I think that causes more trouble than it’s worth. And yes, I think she overreacted a bit and shouldn’t have addressed the issue with you in front of everyone else because it is being theatrical and being a drama queen. I would delete the guy off your Facebook friends and leave it that. If you didn’t do anything wrong, you shouldn’t have to explain yourself any further than you already have. And I am surprised that the groom called and had to apologize for his sister being a drama queen. And the fact that the family members are getting involved just demonstrates how they are all drama queens…seriously…it is ridiculous. I would just stay away from all of these people. Not worth another minute of your time. 

Post # 13
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Nope, this was not your fault.  I can’t imagine someone calling me names at a wedding, especially when you were just hanging out and becoming FB friends with multiple people over the evening (so it’s not like you were just talking to her husband the whole time).  I would find out why your SO isn’t backing you up on this, it sounds like everyone else was drunk/overreacting and he should have your back.

Post # 14
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018


You did nothing wrong.  I would have just assumed he was being friendly and added him as well.  I think it’s great that you kept your cool when she came after you like that.

I suggest you talk to your SO about it.  Like some of the others have said I think he’s just trying to keep more drama from happening.  If this issue though is going to cause you to resent him then you should break up.

Post # 15
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The fastest way to make drama go away is to ignore it.  Don’t engage it.  Don’t defend or accuse anyone.  Just ignore it, and eventually it will go away.

That’s what you SO is doing and it’s the most mature route.  If he replies to any of those text messages or digs at you, he is prolonging the drama.

I realize you want him to stick up for you and you want to redeem yourself in his family’s eyes… but I can honestly say that at this point, the best thing for you to do is ignore it and move on. 

Remind yourself: you did nothing wrong, and eventually everyone else will come to understand that.  If you go on the defensive, people will talk more.  Give it time and eventually they will get to know the real you and appreciate the fact you don’t engage in drama.

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