Post # 1
At a BBQ yesterday our friends came by with their 2.5 week old baby ‘John’. They had kept Johns name a secret until the birth and this was our first time seeing them since then.
It was a little awkward because they are the first to have a kid and I wasn’t really sure what to say (no one really did) so I told them how I am wanting to have my kids names match our last initial which is also a ‘J’ and that they ‘took a J name!’ I love the name they chose, but not ever for my kid and I didn’t mean to be rude, we were all drinking (mom isn’t breastfeeding!) and she was kind of catty back with ‘there are lots of J names’ and I tried to explain I was kidding, and just trying to make conversation (DH says I try too hard, and I clearly do).
Clearly I should have just STFU, but if anything I would think someone else liking your name choice would be a compliment. So, how wrong was I?
Post # 3
It doesn’t seem to me like that big of a faux pas, especially since you explained after that you were kidding. I would try not to worry about it. It’s not like you told her you hated the name they chose for their baby.
Also – this totally sounds like something I would do. Try too hard and then feel like a dope when I don’t get the response I was hoping for. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn’t! 😛
Post # 4
I think it would highly depend on your tone but i dont think what you said was overly rude or anything
Post # 5
I can see how she could have taken that the wrong way, even though I know you were joking. Awkward but nothing to sweat about! Just a miscommunication!
Post # 6
@edgebee: god people are too sensitive these days!!!! like if i name my child Cameron, my friend cant name her baby Connor? i dont think you did or said anything wrong. id say preggo hormones are rampid still haha!
Post # 7
New babies are exhausting. Sometimes when I’m tired, I don’t always catch when people are just kidding with me and take them at face value.
But you explained you were kidding. I think that’s all you really can do.
Post # 8
No offence, but thats a really strange comment
If someine said to me “but i want to name my nonexistent baby with that letter” id look at them like they were mad and point out there were othrr names. And then give them a doubly odd look if they said it was a joke
Post # 9
@newname_99: yep, i totally see that now. i try too hard.
Post # 10
It depends on the tone of voice and the person. I would have laughed it off, but I know lots of people who’d take it the wrong way. By the way, there’s nothing stopping you using the same name anyway. Someone I knew (not super close) had her first child a month before mine and used the name we’d chosen. We stuck with our chosen name anyway. Even less of a problem in your case where any future baby of yours will be at least 9 months younger 🙂
For future reference, keep it all complimentary, saying things like “what a beautiful baby” and “what a beautiful name”.
Post # 11
Take it as a lesson learned. Making comments, even jokes, about a baby’s name and the suggestion that they took it from someone else is a super sensitive subject.
dont forget, new moms are full of hormones, running on little to no sleep. picking up on an odd joke isn’t high on her priority list.
Post # 12
that’s totally something I would do – I say things that totally come out the wrong way ALL the time!
I love that name, i mean not for my kid but it’s a great name!
I think I told my sister that i liked her e-ring more than I thought I would when I first saw it in person b/c when she saw mine she said that to me about mine about a dozen times, all i would have meant is that the photos don’t do it justice but clearly whatever i said came out wrong!
Post # 13
i think she overreacted – sounds like she was sensitive about the baby name and anticipating negative responses to begin with considering she kept it a secret til the baby was born – so i think that no matter what you said, she would have thought it was somehow insulting lol..
Post # 14
As others have said, it is all about the tone…
But to be fair, New Parents are ALWAYS uber-sensitive…
For Moms it is a surge of hormones (factual) and for Dads it is all about the Male Ego (look what I made, and I shall protect the honour of my new family to the end) sort of thing
Not a good mix…
Best bets are always to say nice things and nothing controversial… or that could anyway be seen as a slight particularly against the “innocent’ babe in arms.
So ya, making comments about the Chosen Name wasn’t the best…
But they’ll get by it.