(Closed) Was this rude? Or am I being too sensitive?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

She was either being rude and assuming you asked them to pay for some expensive destination wedding (which you didn’t). Or she was just saying they didn’t ask for anythig and maybe haven’t been offered anything and that the GIL’s aren’t being grumpy. 

I would just let it go. Either way, let her think whatever she wants, it doesn’t make any difference. 🙂

Post # 4
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Was it rude? Yes. Is it worth holding a grudge or causing a big stink? No. People are rude sometimes. Oh well. Roll your eyes and move on.

Post # 5
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think it was rude, but maybe she was misinformed? Maybe she was led to believe that you guys asked for your GILs to pay.

Post # 6
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Definitely rude. I would inform her of the facts, beause she probably doesn’t know. 

Post # 8
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe they didn’t think your DH’s comment about crotchety GILs was a joking comment, so they were trying to correct your DH’s rudeness.

Post # 9
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@adoc86:  +1

@QueenOfSerendip: Also, where did you get married in Jamaica? That’s our plan too 🙂  

Post # 11
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

It was rude of her to say anything, but this might be a good time to think about how things look to the GILs and the ILs in general. They might see it something like this “We offered to pay for their wedding here, on our property, but then they decided to go a much more expensive destination wedding, which is just plain taking advantage of our generosity, so we decided not to pay for it anymore.” I’m not saying at all that this is what they think, or that you did indeed try to advantage (bc I don’t think you did) but they might see it like this. It may have rubbed the ILs the wrong way. You might want to think about you and Fiance having a talk with GILs and the ILs in general to make sure there are no hurt feelings.

Post # 12
11746 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t read too much into it, just forget it and move on.

Post # 13
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@QueenOfSerendip:  That sounds rude. Of your Future Sister-In-Law. If it’s really nagging you, maybe it would be worth bringing up, but otherwise may not be worth it is you get along all the rest of the time and it’s the first time she’s ever offended. Who knows, maybe she’s really stressed about planning right now and it just slipped out. 

Post # 14
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@QueenOfSerendip:  Yes, it was a little rude but a simple reply, of “Neither did we.” would have corrected her.

Plus, I have to say that despite your protestations to the contrary, you and your husband seem to have a chip on your shoulder about his Grandparents and what they’ve done for you vs. what they are or might be doing for his brother or others. 

Your “jokey” comments probably communicate this and perhaps your FSIL was being defensive as you are.  If your GIL’s give more to them than you, I can certainly understand why that would grate – but, your Brother-In-Law and his fiance’ shouldn’t be hearing any griping about it from you – delivered in a “jokey” way or not – its not their fault. 

Post # 15
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Yeah clearly something got miscommunicated somewhere in the game of telephone.  It was rude. But leave it alone. 


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