Was told having guests RSVP on website is cheap and tacky?

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
  • poll: RSVP on wedding website?
    Just do it, if people think that low of doing it online, that's on them. : (50 votes)
    39 %
    No, don't do it. Spend the money on paper RSVP and go the traditional route. : (19 votes)
    15 %
    It doesn't matter, and anyone who thinks it does obviously has weird priorities. : (58 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 2
    13677 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’ll be honest, I hate online RSVPs.  I always forget them.  Recently, we got an invitation and it was on the counter for me to remember to go log on the computer to respond, but then Darling Husband brought it to his office, and out of sight out of mind.  I just forgot.   Two weeks later, I went into his office to grab something and saw it sitting on his desk and realized we hadn’t responded.  It was like three days before the deadline, and Darling Husband is in this wedding.  

    With a paper RSVP, I can fill it out, and walking to the mailbox isn’t a chore for me – I go to the mailbox every day, or every other day, and pass it when I go to work every single day. 

    In the end, you do you.  

    Post # 3
    2800 posts
    Sugar bee

    Who cares! Do what YOU want to do. I hate mailing RSVPs, I always lose them and hate having to go to the post office. I never have stamps or envelopes because I don’t send any other mail. Whereas with online RSVPs you can just pop on the site and have it done in two minutes from your desk. Another benefit of doing it online is that you can have the questions on there about dietary restrictions, accommodation and any other details you might need (though that might be different if your husband is designing it)  It’s also so much easier to track the RSVPs because they’re all in one place automatically and you can just click one button and export it right into a spreadsheet. 

    If anyone tells you they’re cheap, just tell them they’re out of touch with the times :p 

    Post # 4
    341 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    We asked guests to RSVP either to our home address or to a given email, and we didn’t provide RSVP cards because we figured it was a waste of trees and money. Only 4 couples replied by post, everyone else emailed. Welcome to the 21st century!
    We had no comments and tbh I don’t give a shit if anyone thought it was cheap because it worked for us.

    You do you x

    Post # 8
    13677 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    yourhandinmine :  I’m probably an outlier because I don’t have access to personal electronic devices during the workday (and very limited access to the internet during the day as well), and a lot of times at home I don’t have my computer out because I work on computers all day (tonight excluded, haha!), so its just not something that crosses my mind when I’m at home.  But, like I said, I’m an outlier here because most people don’t work in that kind of environment. 

    I don’t think it’s cheap or tacky, I just think, for me, it’s inconvenient. 

    Post # 9
    5038 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2017

    One persons cheap/tacky is another persons affordable/efficient.

    Post # 10
    977 posts
    Busy bee

    I have only ever once received a mail RSVP and all else have been online or via text. So I think any option is fine. Neither mailing, texting or going to a website is hard. And if there is anyone, such as elderly guests especially, that may not be tech savvy or have a computer, you can just call them personally and get their RSVP. 


    ETA- my situation of hardly ever getting a mail RSVP is probably due to cultural reasons. Pakistan postage sucks and is unreliable so everyone there just puts phone numbers on invites to RSVP to. That tradition carried over into those of us raised in the West too. No Paksitani/Indian or Arab wedding I’ve attended had mail RSVP’s- some have caught on to the wedding website RSVP though. The one mail RSVP I received was to a non-Pakistani wedding. Regardless though, I still think online RSVP is acceptable no matter your culture or social circle. I see nothing rude or wrong about it. Certainly not tacky. 

    Post # 11
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I honestly think it depends on your audience. While a lot of my friends are electronically inclined, most of my family is not and even my own parents wouldn’t know how to RSVP online. So know your crowd and go with what they’d prefer. And I hate to say it but it sounds like your audience did tell you what they’d like to see… sorry bee. 

    Post # 14
    3532 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    Online RSVPs just make more sense, and as you’ve said they’re more economical. If people think that is cheap or tacky, fuck ’em. They’ll get over it. 

    Post # 15
    51 posts
    Worker bee

    yourhandinmine :  I asked people to RSVP on our website, it had nothing to do with not wanting to spend extra money on the invites. I chose to do this because I try to go paperless on as much as I can, and most of the people that were inviting are young and I thought the chances of them using snail mail were slim to none. I don’t see anything tacky about using a website, it also helped me stay super organized  


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