- 1 year ago
Well, here it comes. I was waiting for friends and family to start throwing in their input, when we never asked for it. I was hoping that they’d wait more than, I don’t know, the first 1.5 months of planning. But no, as always, people manage to surprise me with their lack of respect and social awareness.
Anyway, SO and I are primarily paying for our wedding. That’s fine, I wouldn’t expect the parents to. We’re adults, we’re making an adult decision, therefore it’s on us. My parents are contributing about $2,000 (which is so kind, I didn’t expect nor want that) and his parents are doing $2,000. Most of the family is in one state (a very expensive wedding state) and because of that, SO and I are making it harder on ourselves and planning the wedding in that state. A state we don’t live in. But oh well, that’s decided.
Well, since we’re paying for it and are now having to pay MORE because it’s an area that some destination weddings happen in, we have to be careful on budget. SO and I are pretty solid right now, in terms of income. We’re about 1.5 years out of college. I bring in $40,000, and he brings in $70,000. However, I have loans and bills add up. SO and I are not the type to destroy our savings to fund one night. That’s not us, no matter income or budget.
Well, as ways to save money, I considered just designing our own invites. It’s paper, no one cares, and some of the designs I’ve seen are things I could accomplish in 10 minutes with photoship and indesign. Well, I also thought, “Gosh, RSVP’s are such a waste of paper. In the age of everything moving over to the internet, why is it that weddings are lagging so far behing?” I know everyone who is invited has a computer and knows how to use one. Even the grandparents. So I thought, “I’ll just put ‘RSVP on our website’ at the bottom of the invite. SO is a Computer Engineer that loves programming, so he’s excited to actually make a site. Yay, we save on paper and costs!
Told the parents, and they said it’s cheap and tacky. Told the friends, they said it’s cheap. WHY? How is it NOT easier and more cost effective? It’s easier to log onto a site and click “I want this meal. Yes, I’ll be there” than write on the card, go out to the mail box, etc. If you’re in an apartment (and a lot of the invited guests are, because they’re our age) they have to go to their mailroom. There’s a computer right next to them.
So, Bee’s, what gives? His 22-year-old cousin will be married 2 months before us (that’s a whole other fest on its own) and the parents are paying every dime and rolling out the red carpet. Primarily because the girl would have just graduated from school a few months ago, and may not have a job. So all the stuff they’ve sent out is high end, but SO and I are relying on ourselves, not parents. Is it actually cheap? I just don’t want people to start comparing, even though I know it will happen. i
So, what do you all say?