Was told having guests RSVP on website is cheap and tacky?

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
  • poll: RSVP on wedding website?
    Just do it, if people think that low of doing it online, that's on them. : (50 votes)
    39 %
    No, don't do it. Spend the money on paper RSVP and go the traditional route. : (19 votes)
    15 %
    It doesn't matter, and anyone who thinks it does obviously has weird priorities. : (58 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    366 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I didn’t get any rude comments about online RSVP, but if I had, I would’ve told them since they’re so proper they ought to know the actual proper thing is to whip out your own stationery, envelope, and stamp, and write your RSVP yourself using full sentences. I mean as long as we’re playing etiquette pissing match… pre-printed RSVPs are tacky too compared to that! 

    Post # 17
    Member
    284 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    We went the old school route with traditional mail-in RSVP cards.  We included stamped addressed envelopes to make it super easy.  We are having a very formal, traditional wedding, so online RSVPs would have been kinda incongruous and out of place.  Also, our guest list is stacked with older family members and family friends who are kinda hit or miss when it comes to basic computer skills.  

    We did put our website URL on the invite, which had info about venues, hotels, dress code, and registry.  We bought a .wedding domain that was easier to remember and write than the awkward/long URL you get with the hosted wedding websites. (When we were designing the invitation, it took us forever to get it into my dad’s head that it was .wedding and NOT .wedding.com – that would have been disastrous.)

    On the flip side, we had a couple of friends in our generation overlook the return card and ask where on the website the RSVP form was.

    In my social circle, the vast majority of wedding RSVPs have been traditional mail-in ones, but save the dates, rehearsal dinners, bridal showers, etc are generally online invites and therefore online RSVP.

    Post # 18
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I am currently waiting on my RSVP and did them online as like u wanted to save the money on stamps but also because the mail takes forever and things get lost.

    it also allowed me to keep track of everything all in one place so easily. Also was hoping it would mean quicker answers but that hasn’t happened.

     

     

    Post # 19
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Rydges Hotel

    I prefer online RSVPs. I always forget to post things

    Post # 20
    Member
    3595 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    yourhandinmine :  i don’t think it’s cheap or tacky. It’s what we did – and not to save money, but just because it made much more sense and was easier to track and communicate. Our invitations weren’t cheap!! And our wedding certainly wasn’t either. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    We did online RSVPs. I loved it! It was super easy. For anyone who can’t figure it out (grandparents, etc.) I just did it for them…it was really pretty simple. I hated the idea of wasting so much paper and stamps doing paper RSVPs – this was also a great eco-friendly option. Who cares what people say; do what you want. It’s your day! 🙂

    Post # 22
    Member
    1117 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    No one should complain about a non-ridiculous RSVP method. What’s ridiculous? “Please respond by carrier pigeon.” “Send by FedEx only.” “Apply the thumbprint of attending guests.” 

    If they want to get traditional about it, then you aren’t supposed to have to tell guests to RSVP. People are supposed to know to respond to invitations- you know, because they are adults- and they respond in a manner at least as quick as the manner of the invitation. You aren’t supposed to have to buy people’s stationary just because you invite them to something. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    1170 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    Id prefer online. I’m too lazy to go to the post office. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee

    I don’t particularly care, but you guys don’t walk past mailboxes in your every day lives? On the corner? At the grocery store? In your office?

    I really dislike going to the post office, but I’ve never had to go to the post office to mail something. 

    Ive only had to RSVP online for one wedding, where the couple lived in Australia but got married in the States. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding:  

    We’re having a budget wedding so I did my own wedding website with RSVP functions, and it’s so so so much cheaper (free!) and easier to manage, not to mention more environmentally friendly! People can go back to change their mind before RSVP closes and review their dietary restrictions, comments and so on.

    We did have older guests struggle to understand what they need to do with this whole online thing, but once I provided step-by-step instructions in a follow-up email half of them proceeded to successfully RSVP, and the rest it’s easy to RSVP for them once they confirm their attendance.

    Cheap and tacky? Maybe! Don’t care! 🙂 

    Post # 26
    Member
    1267 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    yourhandinmine :  I did mine online and had no issues. I also had a set that wasn’t online due to language/technology barriers. Guess which RSVPs I had the most issues with??? People mailed their RSVPs in without stating the number of people attending (or even who was attending). It was such a nightmare to track it down.

    The online ones were great and organized. I was able to easily print out the results on one sheet of paper.

    Post # 27
    Member
    11781 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    If you want to get all traditional, people were always expected to reply promptly without having to be told how or when. Most correctly that’s in the same format as the invitation. An online reply would most likely reflect a casual online invitation, but it is not inappropriate. A mailed invitation would most properly be answered by writing out a reply on one’s own personal stationery. Reply cards were actually considered rude, as if you distrusted and thought the worst of your guests! 

    So it turns out the most proper way happens to be the cheapest of all. That is, the onus of a timely reply is on the guest. 

    Of course the majority of people these days opt to provide a reply method out of convenience.

    Post # 28
    Member
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    We will also be doing online RSVPs. Cheaper, and I don’t have to keep track of paper RSVPs! I always forget or procrastinate in sending paper RSVPs in

    Post # 29
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2018

    Not only did I do online RSVPs, I did email invites! One of my bridesmaids is a designer and she designed the invitation suite and gave it to me in PDF format which I inserted straight into the email so when you opened it it was right there instead of appearing as an attachment. If anyone thought it was tacky they didn’t tell me and I got a lot of compliments on them! 

    Those were my people though. My grandparents are on facebook more than I am. I knew the majority of my guests would find online more convenient anyway and for the few that wouldn’t (like my great-grandparents) I did have about a dozen of the sets printed (they were nice to have as a keepsake too). As this post shows people’s reactions vary a lot, so think about your crowd as a whole (not just the loud nay-sayers) and take that into consideration. Personally I think it’s a great way to save money and most people have a wedding website with info on it anyway these days, might as well put all the stuff in one place!

    FWIW 90% of the weddings I’ve been to did online rsvps only and I had 2 engaged couples at my wedding that are now both doing online invites as well as rsvps. While they didn’t explicitly say they got the idea from me… I figure they must have liked the invites I sent out!

    Post # 30
    Member
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I did online invites and RSVPs, although we also gave our address for anyone who preferred to write. I didn’t expect anyone would use it. All but one of my guests RSVP’d online. But maybe there’s a generational thing because most of my fi’s friends (who are about 15 yrs older) did actually write  Their messages were very sweet – but we did need to chase more of them up.

    We did it for environmental, cost and efficiency reasons. 

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