Was told having guests RSVP on website is cheap and tacky?

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
  • poll: RSVP on wedding website?
    Just do it, if people think that low of doing it online, that's on them. : (50 votes)
    39 %
    No, don't do it. Spend the money on paper RSVP and go the traditional route. : (19 votes)
    15 %
    It doesn't matter, and anyone who thinks it does obviously has weird priorities. : (58 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 31
    1294 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m not from the states and form movies and Bee I’ve learned that RSVP cards are even a thing. Here the wedding invites have a phone number/email and asks people to call/text/email their attendance and food restrictions. I guess since I’m not used to RSVP card seem like a lot of work for everyone. 

    Post # 32
    2858 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I don’t remember the last time we got a wedding invite that didn’t have an online rsvp option. It is the norm here now for sure.

    Actual RSVP cards aren’t common either. Usually you will go and buy an accept or regret card (brits love sending a card)

    Post # 33
    1678 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    As a bride to be who is acatually doing both, all I can say is “Hallelluyer” for online rsvp’s!  That saved me so much money and its is so efficient I can’t tell you.  With the online rsvp’s I can keep track of the number of guests, guest meals and send reminders if I need to.  While I sent printed invitations to those who don’t have access to tech or simply aren’t tech savy, my call list will definitely be short when the time comes!  It defintely makes things easier for tech savy guests.  Using a website allows you to provide more detailed info than printed invites can provide.  

    Post # 34
    916 posts
    Busy bee

    I also did both. My invites contained return envelops and RSVP cards with instructions to also RSVP online. I was about 50/50 for me for my 185 guest. Some guest did both lol. I personally don’t think anything is wrong with online RSVP because they do save money and are easier to track. People will get over it. Bigger fish to fry in the invite process. 

    And there are a lot of affordable websites you can use to get this done. You SO doesn’t have to create a site from scratch. 

    Post # 35
    2005 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I can go either way. I personally think it looks more finished with the card, but I don’t think less of the couple if that is what they choose to do. It just wasn’t for us to only go that route. 

    Do you. I think saving the paper and money is always an okay thing.  

    Post # 36
    1256 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    We did online RSVPs and had no issue with it. I avoid using snail mail where I can to save the environment. I’d have done electronic invites and thank yous as well if I could get away with it!

    Post # 37
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I don’t care about looking “cheap” because I didn’t do something the way I was expected to do it. Good, don’t like it don’t come. However, I did electronic RSVPs for my engagement party, and it went so poorly. Older guests did not understand the difference between a website URL and an email address, and they got rude AF when their email bounced back. So I did paper RSVPs for the wedding to save myself the emotional labor. But if my relatives weren’t dumb then I would have done online RSVP for everything.

    Post # 38
    438 posts
    Helper bee

    well I’m  gonna call bs on someone with 13,000 posts on a wedding website having limited computer access…

    As for online RSVPs, I think its easier for everyone, and the people who don’t like it will get over it. The only thing to keep in mind is I think it WILL indicate to people that you are not having a lavish expensive wedding, but does that really matter?

    Post # 39
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I’ve been to one wedding that had online invitations and RSVP’s and it was a nightmare for me. We have gotten an email with the URL to the wedding website and it just said the date of the wedding and asked us if we were attending or not. A month before the wedding I still hadn’t seen anymore details like the time on the website (I only knew the place from talking to the bride, it wasn’t on the site either) so I had to ask the bride and told her I hadn’t seen anything with the details. 2 more weeks after that (2 weeks before the wedding) I get a message on facebook from her sent to me and about 40 other people asking for our email addresses again because our replies and email addresses didn’t save and they want to be able to send us the invitation online. 

    Just because of that experience I won’t do online invites or RSVP’s because it was such a headache for me as a guest to have to track down the information and have to ask for it. 

    Post # 40
    889 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    It totally depends on your wedding. If you are having a black tie wedding, you need a formal invitation with RSVP cards. If you are having a more informal wedding, online RSVPs are fine. 

    Post # 41
    600 posts
    Busy bee

    We did both, but I’m a designer and work in a print shop so made my own invites and RSVPs. In the end, most people RSVP’d online, a few sent back the papers. 

    Post # 42
    352 posts
    Helper bee

    I prefer them and always respond more quickly when its online

    Post # 43
    3796 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    I love online RSVP’s! I did it for my first wedding and it was so simple & easy to track. I respond much quicker to onine RSVP’s than if I had to mail away an RSVP card and by logging in to RSVP I also then check out the other info on the wedding website (whereas I probably wouldnt check out the site otherwise unless I needed hotel info)

    Post # 44
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    sensiblesusie :  I did the same thing! I didn’t want to waste tree or my money. So I gave the option:email or done snack the RSVP card. Out of 100 guests only 1 couple mail the RSVP to us. 

    Post # 45
    884 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2019

    I actually thought online RSVPs were becoming more common.  I did that a few years back for a wedding that was still very high budget and had paper invites.  Personally,  I MUCH prefer online.  I do all my bills online.  Shopping online.  I rarely go to the post office and find it an inconvenience.

    I agree that you’re never going to find a single solution that pleases everyone.  We’re finding that with our own wedding.  Weddings are something people just have strong opinions about and feel like they can express freely.

    We’re not doing our wedding entirely on a shoestring ($25K not including attire/my dress) but we’re still going the route of digital invites (custom videos like a co-worker did that turned out super cute) because paper just isn’t a priority for us and we’d rather spend that money on things that are more directly related to guest experience like better food & drinks.

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