(Closed) Was told that I am fat and gross….. :(

posted 5 years ago in Fitness
Post # 61
24 posts

Ok so that was an asshole this to say… I 100 % would agree to that, and maybe not the time or place, but is it something that you needed to hear? Coming from experience sometimes the harsh truth needs to be said (this goes for a lot of things). And it may of hurt your feeling then, but look at the support you’re getting here, and the changes your making to your life now. Maybe none of this would have happened if he said OH HEY, I didn’t recognize you, You look fabulous!!!! (Just another viewpoint)

I would highly recommend a couple blogs I have found online that are great resource!!! Please just don’t veggies and nuts, it can actually do more damage than you think.





Cheers, and all the best on your journey!!



Post # 62
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m not sure I have much that’s helpful to say, I just felt like I had to say something. I cannot believe that someone would be such a complete and total fucker.

At least of this is just your friend’s grooms’ dad (if I read that right?) then you won’t need to see them ever again. 

I think all you can do is think about losing weight if it’s what you want, and never forget that your fiance loves you exactly as you are.

Post # 63
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The evil side of me would have been tempted to say, “I may be fat and gross, but at least I’m probably not going to die from lung cancer.” It’s interesting that, if your options are weight gain or smoking (even if he thought it was just an excure), weight gain was what was “gross”. I knew someone with lung cancer when I smoked, and they practically begged me to give it up.  They say that “hurt people hurt people,” and I’m sure he’s hurting. Hard-core meds can also affect personalities.  He told your friend about it, so something about it stuck out to him. I’m glad she put him in his place.

That being said, I have a hard time un-hearing things like that.  A PP mentioned how dieting triggered her ED and she felt gross even after she lost the weight. Even if you don’t have an ED, keep in mind that weight loss =/= happiness. I’d rather be “fat” & happy than skinny and miserable.  (I’ve also been fat and miserable, so there’s that…)

Post # 64
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

FutureMrsW2015:  The person who said that to you is a vile human being.  Absolutely disgusting.  Shame on him.

Post # 66
865 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

FutureMrsW2015:  I am so sorry he said this to you, that was incredibly rude and uncalled for. While it may be hard to put it into perspective, those comments say more about him than they do about you. I gained a lot of weight while my mom was terminally ill and following her death (emotional eating/ needing to be at the house to care for her and not being active…), and was able to lose some of the weight myself, but not all of it. It’s really hard if you pick up bad habits to drop them all; what I thought was “eating well” was just eating better than I had been.

I second PP’s suggestion of Weight Watchers. It is a pretty “gentle” program (inasmuch as it won’t guilt trip you and is not intimidating), but it was that objective voice I needed to help teach me what a reasonable portion and good food choice was. I realized that there were healthier alternatives to the foods I had considered good for me, and that my portions were WAY larger than was reasonable. I haven’t been 100% faithful to the plan, but when I am I lose between 1/2-2 lbs a week, which while slow, is pretty steady progress in the right direction! It’s the sort of diet that is more of a lifestyle change than a short-term diet, so the results tend to stick around as long as you don’t fall back into terrible habits. 

Good luck, and above all, don’t let someone’s lack of manners and hateful words get under your skin; I am positive you are not “fat and gross”, but it sounds like you are unhappy at your current weight, so make a positive change for yourself, not for this guy or any other idiot with an opinion. 

Post # 67
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow. Sounds like the kind of guy who would tell a cancer victim on chemo that they look too skinny and unhealthy, yuck. I can’t believe some people. Don’t ever speak to him again, he’s the one who’s gross. Good luck on your weight loss!

Post # 68
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Too bad you could not have smiled and come back with a comment of your own about his appearance. But I also think of the perfect comeback when it is too late.

My husband lost 70 pounds on Weight Watchers.

Let me also say….CONGRATULATIONS on quitting smoking. This is such a big deal, and the weight gain will only be a blip. Smoking does not just affect the user.

My mother was a heavy smoker. She was diagnosed with lung cancer when I was in my early teens. They found the tumor when running tests after she had a heart attack (which the smoking probably played a big role in as well). She died when I was 14. Had a big impact on my life; never really gotten over it.

So please feel proud of the quitting smoking. You did yourself, your finance, and your future kids a huge favor.

Post # 69
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

FutureMrsW2015:  I didn’t read all the replies so sorry if I am repeating anything. First just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear this. I actually infuriates me that people think they can speak like this to others. Who the heck does this guy think he is?!?! I wish you had punched him in the face !

have you tried weight watchers? We have a free program at work, and I have been on it to drop off those stubborn 10 (ok 15!) lbs and it really does work as long as you stick to the program. 

Also, remember that your FH loves you for who you are! I’m sure you will be a beatiiful bride regardless of what your weifht is. Don’t let this ruin such a special tim. ๐Ÿ™‚


Post # 70
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

What a dick! For real how did you not hit him! 

I stared putting weight on right after highschool  and it took me 3 years to finally sit down and say okay you’ve got a problem because I am 5’3″ and i was pushing 180. I started working out but I didn’t change my eating habits which is a huge mistake! I didn’t get my shit together until earlier this year when the FH and i moved in with each other. I did insanity and started eating better. you truly will not notice a change in your body until you eat healthy. I hated it at first I had to force it down and now I prefer it I will go home and make Soemthing good for me and when I think about all the bad stuff that I used to eat I think about afterwards and how gross I felt for eating it. I’ll share a pic at the bottom of my 20lbs progress. It ls hard but so worth it! Here is my favorite killer treadmill workout

My first time trying on dressesMe currently 

And since you’re about the same size I was here’s a progress pic


This is my favorite  breakfast recipe that’s totally good for you! I add blueberries and instead of syrup I use maybe a tsp of Nutella. And also whole wheat flour instead


Awesome light  lunch (or super easy dinner after a long day at work! FH loves them)that I put on whole wheat wraps 

And another good one

Or if you’re craving something sweet! Replace butter with coconut oil and flour with coconut flour

And we LOVE LOVE LOVE this sauce. I put it on cut up zucchini and add mozzarella and put in the oven for 15 min for mini pizzas 

And remember  to treat yourself


Blueberry muffins^

Whatever the reason you want to lose good luck and never lose sight of your goal!!

Post # 71
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I also add chia seeds and protein powder to literally  everything I can hide it in lol

You deserve  to feel beautiful  no matter what. Especially on your wedding day. Next time you see that guy, knee him  in nads  for me lol

Post # 73
5 posts

I’m really sorry about the rude remarks that were made to you. I bet you’re beautiful!! Sometimes people say things that “stick” and its very hurtful.  I’m the type of person who can’t just live on vegetables and smoothies, so the weight watchers plan worked great for me, along with weight training 3 times per week.  I really enjoy weights more than cardio, and you can do it from home too! I also use myfitnesspal to keep track of my food intake.  You’ll be fine!!! Just keep on going and don’t give up! ๐Ÿ™‚

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