- Mrs. Mary Jane
- 12 years ago
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
I’m posting this to Newlyweds, though I am not one, because I figure you’ve all said your vows.
The man and I are both very reserved, introverted people. We don’t like crowds or parties, and are private with our affections too (we don’t do "PDA", even hand-holding usually, especially not in front of family).
So many brides talk about their magical, wonderful ceremony, and how great it was, how special, how they cried and how all they can remember is how their groom was looking at them, etc.
I do not think it will be that way for us. I think we will feel self-conscious and weird, will have cold sweat dripping down our foreheads, and won’t even be fully comfortable kissing in front of all those people we know (our PARENTS will be there, for god sakes! LOL). I think we will be flustered and embarrassed that all these people are watching us trying to share this ‘intimate moment’, which is honestly set up to be just the opposite of intimate.
Granted, I know that the idea of a wedding is to celebrate your love for each other, and that includes sharing with everyone present how you feel about your new spouse. But still..
And to give this a little more weight even, I was married before, and remember the ceremony part of it as being uncomfortable and weird feeling, like this play we were putting on, and just feeling nervous and on-the-spot and like I was being stared at (I was, after all) the whole time. I remember thinking about my sweaty hands, wondering if anyone could see the blister on my foot, thinking about the weather, and for the kiss, trying to make it a short, appropriate one because I was so mortified to do that in front of family.
Did anyone feel this way on their wedding day, or am I completely weird? Or if there are non-newlyweds reading this, do you worry that you will?
It’s stuff like this that leans me back toward the appeal of ‘courthouse’.
Edit: i want to clarify that we do NOT come from extreme religious/traditional families. We live together and everything…so it’s not like we’re trying to protect our pure image by not having PDA or anything. It just isn’t something we do.