(Closed) Was your e-ring a surprise?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Was your e-ring a surprise?
    Yes, I had no idea : (40 votes)
    17 %
    Yes, but I gave him input prior to the engagement on styles I liked : (62 votes)
    26 %
    No, I went shopping with him (online or in store) prior to engagement : (102 votes)
    43 %
    No, i went shopping with him after engagement : (24 votes)
    10 %
    Other : (9 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    463 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @laur371:  I think it’s your SO’s preference.  My fi wanted to know what I liked, but I was not invited to the jewelry store.  Having the proposal/ ring a surprise was a very huge deal to him.  Lucky for me, he nailed it.

    Post # 4
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @laur371:  My ring is a heirloom my grandmother gave to me before she moved to a nursing home.

    Post # 5
    1118 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I personally didn’t want to have anything to do with it! I knew that he would pick something that I would love and that I would love whatever he picked. And what he did pick is the most beautiful, unique set I have ever seen! The only reason I would’ve wanted to help him would be to make sure he didn’t spend too much money, but he claims he stayed under $2000 so he did good on that too!

    I can never get a good picture, so here’s the stock photo.

    Post # 6
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    I wanted to be sort of surprised and my Fiance wanted to surprise me, but on the other hand I don’t like surprises and he didn’t want to spend a ton of money on something I hadn’t had some input on. We compromised. I helped him choose the setting/band and then he chose the size/shape of the centre stone (I was fine with pretty much anything except for princess). I was surprised the first time I saw the ring (but sort of not surprised at the same time), because I hadn’t seen the completed ring before and wasn’t sure what the centre stone would look like (:


    Post # 7
    2114 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @laur371:  I tried giving him my input, but he didn’t want it or listen to it. Little did I know he was given his mother’s wedding set to give to me. So he didn’t need my help, he knew exactly what ring he was getting me. I was completely surprised.

    Post # 8
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Welcome to the bee!

    I was definitely a part of the process. I’m very Type A and really cared about the ring. The wedding not so much, but the ring definitely lol.

    I don’t really like to be surprised and most stuff we do we do together, getting engaged was no exception.. if that makes any sense. No element of suprise whatsoever, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Post # 9
    471 posts
    Helper bee

    Heres the story from the male persepctive lol:

    For a couple of months I I originally wanted to propose to my gf with a three stone round diamond ring, I asked her sister what kind of jewelry she really liked but since her sister didn’t really care about jewelry that wasn’t a realistic help! My budget was originally 1500 and I couldn’t find anything that I really liked. I brought up rings after my gf had a couple of friends get engaged which gave me an easy chance to figure out what she liked. Low and behold, she hated three stone rings… so I had to go back to step 1. She told me what she wanted and I kept looking, but nothing was really grabbing me from the chain stores… kay, and zales. I really wanted to keep it a surprise but I had to come to the realization that I wasn’t gonna find anything that she liked because I wasn’t her! AFter a talk and her searches on pinterest about rings, she found rose gold and morganite in a cushion halo which made it so much easier, I bought the ring this week and am ultimately happy with my purchase. Without her assistance, I wouldn’t have known that she wasn’t interested in diamond rings at all, which is probably what every boyfriend asks for lol

    i could have gone the route of saying “screw it! I’ll just buy a random wing” but given the fact that I’m a super picky person, I wouldn’t want her to buy a ring for me that I may potentially hate and have to wear for a long time, so I wanted to get her input because after reading some posts on the bee about “i hate my ring” or “how do I tell him I hate the ring” or “when can I upgrade” I definitely didn’t want my gf to be one of those bees.


    Post # 10
    4945 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @laur371:  my husband wanted me to get what I wanted, so I went looking, narrowed it down to 2-3 settings and then he chose from those. Then we looked at center stones and chose which we wanted.


    Post # 12
    9674 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I have known for years the engagement ring I wanted, so when we were talking about getting engaged in the near future, I went and tried it on, loved it just as much on, then took him with me to show him a little while later, then a week after that he bought it! So no surprises with the ring, but I am glad because I got my dream ring 🙂

    Post # 14
    3223 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I’m not engaged yet, but my SO and I have gone to look at rings together so I could narrow down the style I want. I want the end decision to be his, but he was completely overwhelmed by all the options and was glad to have a direction to go in.  

    Post # 15
    2959 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I was totally surprised. But he chose well. A simple white gold solitaire with a modest (.5) but really high quality diamond. I couldn’t have done better with choosing a style. I dig simplistic  elegance. I think it will go nicely with the wedding band which is a simple white gold band with yellow gold margins. I picked out the wedding bands.




    Post # 16
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @laur371:  I definitely get that, but the part that would hold me back would be how much it would suck if I didn’t like the ring. There are soo many ring regret posts on here, and usually they’re from surprise proposals.

    My husband said he would never spend that much $$ on me without consulting me first to ensure I actually liked it. I feel that the sentiment is there regardless of whether the bride has input or not… so it’s best to make sure that the ring is actually something you’d want to wear.

    Maybe you should go 50/50 – tell him stuff to stay away from (e.g. you hate a certain shape or stone type or color of gold etc.) or point him in the direction of styles you really like. Then he can partially suprise you but there’s no chance he’ll get something that’s totally not ‘you’.

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