Was your ex-husband difficult about divorcing?

posted 5 months ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee

It took me over a year to get divorced after separation because he wanted to make everything difficult.

If you know where your ex physically works, have him served at his workplace. Tell him that will be going down unless he gives you his address so you can have the papers served there. 

Do not arrange a meeting with him. You seem far too affected by his accusations to open yourself up to further comments on his part. Facilitate the divorce however you need to. Do it in text only. No phone calls. Get everything in writing. Do not talk about emotional subjects. Really, truly. Do not engage. Business only so you can get this handled and move on with your life. 

You will heal eventually. Remember, he is in the wrong. You have done nothing to deserve this treatment. Don’t even wonder “how could he think that?” There is no point in wondering; he is deluded, plain and simple. Take care of yourself, Bee. 

Post # 3
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

Talk to your lawyer. If you can’t get an address for him and he is refusing to give it to you, there are other options, it’s just not as easy. But if he is refusing and you have proof he is refusing, that is easier on you. There is no need to meet this man, what is the point of meeting him and being berated? FTG. 

 https://www.lawhelp.org/dc/resource/serving-divorce-papers-if-you-cant-locate-you

My ex absolutely did not want a divorce, so I proceeded to just file contested… He has to reply and deal with it or it just goes through as I filed it. So we ended up with a court date. And it was miserable. And he was drunk, even the judge asked if he had been drinking, total shit show. So glad I divorced him. 

Post # 4
Member
822 posts
Busy bee

Do not talk to him, do not see him, do everything through your attorney. 

I filed for divorce after 18 months of marriage. He drug out the process a full 2 years. The day it was finalized was a relief.

Just be glad you don’t have kids with your ex. Mine uses our son as a pawn. 

Post # 5
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee

Nope. If you’ve decided you want a divorce, do NOT meet with him. Your lawyer should have resources to find your husband to be able to serve him. Having gone through divorce, my advice – document and save everything! Every text, email, sticky note, receipt, everything! Just in case. Even if he seems reasonable at times, do not let emotion or guilt (although you seem to be in the right here) factor into your decisions. The ramifications of any settlement or court order can be long lasting. So hire the best lawyer that you can afford and with whom you feel a rapport. This is your life. 

Like deannamarie said – be glad you don’t have kids – my late ex-husband sued me for full custody of our daughter 10 years after our divorce (during that 10 years, we amicably split custody 50/50 physical and legal). Absolutely ridiculous. $30k to fight him and his monster of a wife. He dropped dead 6 months later. Karma is indeed a bitch.   

Post # 8
Member
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Are you in the US? Just look him up online with the white pages. It’s free.

Post # 10
Member
4818 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

eeniebeans :  🤔lol if only it were that easy and I’m sure lawyers check. People don’t have home lines, can surf on a friends couch and stay unregistered forever/can be an old address listed. 

Post # 13
Member
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, that’s how I keep tabs on my deadbeat ex husband for child support since he won’t hold a regular job and keeps moving. He only has a cell phone, no land line. But ok. lifeisbeeutiful :  

Post # 14
Member
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hope you can get ahold of him. My ex husband likes to not pay child support and won’t hold a regular job and keeps moving- it’s frustrating. Amy Elizabeth :  

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