(Closed) Was your first love more intense than your current love?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

For me, no no no no and no. Haha, well I guess this is my first *real* love, I have never loved more deeply or intensly than with my husband, I had thought I was in love twice before, but it was absolutely nothing in comparison to what I have now. I am so thankful.

Post # 3
2976 posts
Sugar bee

Nope. The amount of unconditional support and trust trumps all the rest. The depth of our love cannot be matched by any other relationships we’ve had. Are there massive amounts of butterflies and nerves? Not so much anymore, but I hated the feeling of having to be “on” in past relationships, and the constant games were enough to drive the sanest person insane. Now things are so normal, relaxed, sexy, romantic, safe, without the fear of judgement or someone leaving because things aren’t “perfect.” He’s my Favorite, forever. 

Post # 4
120 posts
Blushing bee

For me, no. My first love and I met randomly, for the most part. We had one mutual friend. Because I didn’t know him well and it was my first relationship, I was very cautious with him. I didn’t love him until about 8 months into our relationship. 


My fiancé and I, on the other hand, were colleagues and then friends before we ever started dating. We had a lot more history with each other, and because we already had a certain level of trust, I allowed myself to get more deeply emotionally involved MUCH faster than with my first love…so that was quite a bit more intense. 

Post # 5
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

No, as I assume by first love you mean that person I first ever had a relationship with, believed I was in love with and so on, but given I was a teenager I am sure at the time I thought it was everything.

What I have with my husband is based on far more than hormones, newness, the “mystery”. It is based on truth, honesty, vulnerability, respect, deep friendship, total acceptance, support, partnership, a deep emotional connection. I feel very fortunate that our paths crossed, in a time in our lives where the timing was right.

What I share with my husband is also quite different than what I had with my second love, my third love, and so on. There is a reason I am life partners with him and not any of them 🙂

Post # 6
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017


I think a lot of people will have the same experience. We were younger and thought we were “so in love!” But looking back, we were as dumb as rocks, the guys were crappy, and our current loves put past “loves” to shame!

Post # 7
3578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

stephie08:  The love that I feel for my husband makes my first relationships seem so insignificant in comparison. They were puppy love at best. 

Post # 8
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I wouldn’t say so.  Not including crushes and high school “boyfriends” (which we really didn’t do anything except exchange notes, ha), I’ve only been in two relationships.  The first one was “intense” in that I realized I was a sexual being (I never had those feelings before) but there was SO much wrong with the relationship as he was not the right match for me.  It was intense also in the fact that he sometimes brought out the worst in me due to his anger and other issues, some stemming from bipolar some just his personality.  After two years enough was enough.  I loved him, but not enough to stay.

My current SO, I’ve only been with for a little under a year, and it’s intense, but in a good way.  I think I’m still in the honeymoon stage but I see how much better a match he is for me than the last one.  Though I’m not sure intense is the right word, but in your post you said stronger… yes, my love for my current SO is stronger because I feel I have an equal partner, someone who lifts me up and doesn’t bring me down, and brings out the best not the worst.  I find more reasons to love him everyday instead of more issues to criticize.

Post # 9
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

No! Nothing compares to what I feel for my Fiance. 

Post # 10
3611 posts
Sugar bee

My first love made me feel much more intensely insecure and crappy about myself than my current relationship, haha. In seriousness, it was more intense in the sense that every little thing felt like it was the end of “us”/the end of the world, but I think that’s down to immaturity and the relationship being wrong for me rather than the strength of my feelings.

Post # 11
294 posts
Helper bee

No, my frist love was a very long teenage love as I call it, which is nothing in comparison to what I feel now. My current love is the most intense, sexually and emotionally and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Post # 12
3727 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My first love was intense in the sense that I always felt like I was walking on eggshells. I was emotionally manipulated for a long time. So in that sense yes it was more intense. My love was not as intense though because I didn’t understand what a true loving relationship was at the time. 

Post # 13
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Heck no. I don’t believe I ever truly loved anyone until my soon to be husband. What we have is what true love – the selflessness, the loyalty and safe haven – is all about. 

The past were stepping stones. 

Post # 14
494 posts
Helper bee

I’m lucky to say my first love is my current Fiance, even after 18 years. It was always meant to be.  

Post # 15
523 posts
Busy bee

Yes, but in a bad way. Everything was more intense. We were obsessed with each other and the fights were so intense. He wound up cheating on me and emotionally abusing me. The love I feel for my current SO is totally different. It is constant and reliable, not the giant burst of obsession and pain I felt before. 

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