(Closed) Was/is waiting worse when the ring was purchased??

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2949 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Corgi-cariad:  Lol it’s not just a British thing – our friends thought it was unusual that I knew about and had significant input in the ring.

 

I can’t fully emphatize with your situation since the Fiance told me approximately the week he was planning on proposing so I had a very definite timeline. However, that didn’t stop me from occasionally feeling VERY impatient. It’s normal to have a bad waiting day – we’ve all had them. But try to do things to distract yourself from thinking about it. For me anyway, keeping busy really helped.

 

And I know it’s a hard thing to do, but try not to over-analyze holidays, special occasions, etc because imbuing them with expectations of a proposal and should a proposal not happen would just lead to disappointment. Trust that your SO will be true to his word and propose when he feels the time is right. Lol easier said than done I know.

Post # 4
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I can’t speak to actually having the ring in the house, but my SO has all of the money for it now and it has made the waiting a little harder for me! Part of me keeps thinking “What’s the hold up!?” and part of me worries that something will go wrong due to him waiting so long to buy.

We may be buying a house in the near future and I’m worried about so much money being in his account during pre-approval and having it all gone afterward and how that may effect our loan. :/

Post # 5
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I wouldn’t really know, and probably won’t even know the answer to the question. SO is really into surprising me and definitely won’t tell me when/ if he has it. IMO though I think him not having it would be harder for me. We’re really up in the air about when it will happen ie. could be in the next 2 years! that”s a huge amount of time. I think if he had a ring and i knew it’d be within the next few months, I’d calm down

Post # 6
Member
1780 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Corgi-cariad:  Weve had the ring in the house for 2 months (well a few days over)….and it helps because i know he’s serious….and its going to happen…but on the flip side….its making me NUTS because…..now every extra sweet moment sets off the “OMG! IS THIS IT!!!” alarms in my head and then the slight feeling of dissapointment when it dosent and then having to do a quick pep up….before he notices…..even though i do have the garuntee that itll be in the next few weeks….and before the end of april I will be engaged….sooo id say it helps because im not flipping out every month thinkin hes lying about making progress and second guessing things….

Post # 7
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

i think its better to know he has the ring. not knowing anything or if its even going to happen sucks, speaking from personal experience. 

but im not sure i’d want to be that girl who knows he has the ring and has been waiting 6 months or more. I would be worried hes having second doubts after that amount of time, dont know why a guy would wait so long to ask when he has the ring.

waiting a few weeks is nothing compared to that kindof wait.

Post # 8
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Hmm I have no idea if having the ring in the house will make it harder for me. We’ve been custom designing my ring for over 2 months now & while that process has sucked beyond words, knowing it’s being made has actually made me less worried about waiting but we have a timeline so I think my real waiting worries will probably start around october lol

Post # 9
Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Corgi-cariad:  it’ll be easier if you play a jedi mind-trick on yourself.  come up w/an endless list of reasons that he wouldn’t propose until the very end of your vacation in april (maybe even right when you return) & convince yourself of it.  Everything from- the weather will be nicest then to making excuses for why every single event & day up until then wouldn’t be “right” to him.  That way you won’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen before then.  I’m pretty sure the ring is in the house and that it might happen on a vacation we have planned- I’ve wondered abt that for months.  Now that the vacation is days away, let me tell you- it is sooooo worth it.  I have never looked forward to a vacation so much in my life- I am so excited and almost “worried” (what in the world?) that he might do it earlier.  So just hang in there.

And, yeah, I found out long after my gfs got engaged that every single one of them had either ringshopped w/their fiances/husbands or told them their ring preferences (as specifically and detailed as their preferences were) AND they had a timeline (usually “by the end of the year” with most proposals happening decently before the guy’s self-imposed deadline).  I guess it’s not “romantic” or in movies, but that’s the way life works best, so it’s pretty common (at least in the US), but most ppl (even in the US) just don’t talk abt it.

Best of luck and enjoy it!

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