- 6 years ago
I have been very close friends with the bride-to-be for the past eight years, and we were good friends for eight years before that. For the most recent eight years, our friendship has been a “trio” of sorts with another one of our mutual friends. We always celebrate birthdays and holidays together, have gone on a number of trips together, and so forth. At holidays and on birthdays, the BTB generally gives myself and our other friend (we’ll call her “OF”) the same gift, indicating our shared status as her “besties.” I rarely hang out with the BTB one-on-one; neither does OF; for the past eight years we have always been kind of a “package deal.” I feel very positive that OF is not closer to the BTB than I am; if anything, the BTB and I go much “further back.”
Anyway, BTB is getting married in a few months and up until just recently I was under the impression that she was only going to have one attendant, her sister — this is what she had said was her plan for a long time leading up to her engagement, and I completely understood. Recently I found out that she has asked two other girls to be her bridesmaids, which I also would not have been insulted by, but she has ALSO asked OF to be a bridesmaid and NOT ME. I also just found out that she invited OF to go wedding dress shopping with her, something that was never even mentioned to me.
I am dumbfounded by this development. I can’t believe that she would ask OF to be a bridesmaid and not me; she has to understand that this would hurt me deeply?? Why did she do this to me? We have never had an argument and I have always been a tremendously supportive and encouraging friend to her. I just don’t know how our friendship can ever be the same after this; I feel like I have been slapped in the face. For what it’s worth, I had JUST gotten done saying that I was offended that yet another of our mutual friends had invited OF to her wedding and not myself, when I knew that OF was most definitely not closer to the bride in that scenario than I am.
Also worth noting, it’s not as if the BTB could possibly be afraid that I would be a deficient bridesmaid. When OF got married, I was the Maid/Matron of Honor (maybe she is mad about this??) and I threw OF a really wonderful bridal shower and bachelorette party (all while being very careful to include BTB as much as she wanted to be involved in the planning of these events, so as not to make her feel slighted, bossed around, or left out); I also made OF some very thoughtful homemade presents in addition to buying her as much as I could reasonably afford off her registry. I was planning to do the same for BTB, including already getting ideas together for throwing her a shower, and now I feel like I’ve been completely crapped on.
Am I being unfair?