Post # 77
Yup, all of these. I had someone comment about not being asked, and it just reminded me why. Because i didnt want them! Sheesh.
I really just don’t get how this whole post talks about how you did everything right and were such a good friend, besides being too thin of course, and she just snubbed you cold. If you were really such a good friend who cared about her, then you wouldn’t justify how perfect you are and what a snub it was? You would just be supportive, and not text your OF how offended you were and why did she get chosen and not you? I sure wouldn’t want a bridesmaid who asked people around me and made them uncomfortable rather than just talk to me directly??
I think the “don’t upset the bride” thing goes too far, but if my friend was questioning my decisions and our friendship to our mutual friends around me, I’d be pissed as a FRIEND not a bride.
Post # 78
“I really just don’t get how this whole post talks about how you did everything right and were such a good friend . . . If you were really such a good friend who cared about her, then you wouldn’t justify how perfect you are and what a snub it was?”
I thought it was necessary to eliminate possible reasons that the bride may not have asked me to be a bridesmaid. I don’t think I’m a perfect person or a perfect friend, but I do try to be a good friend, and I think that I am. That is all I was trying to convey. I wanted to address and logically consider possible reasons why she might have decided not to include me in the Bridal Party, not toot my own horn or make any kind of claims of entitlement or etc.
“You would just be supportive, and not text your OF how offended you were and why did she get chosen and not you”
OF is one of my best friends, so I don’t think it’s inappropriate to want to talk to her when I am upset about something. In any case, I barely mentioned this situation to her and I certainly didn’t say that I was offended about it. I also said nothing about “why did she get chosen and not [me].” My exact words, in fact, were “Why do you think BTB didn’t ask me to be in the wedding?” She responded as I have indicated and I said, “It’s not a big deal, I just wondered.”
That’s it. End of story. I don’t think that really classifies as “questioning [the bride’s] decisions and our friendship to our mutual friends around [her].” Could I have asked the bride this question directly? Yes, and maybe I should have. But I was trying to avoid upsetting her and causing her any additional stress, as I understand that planning a wedding is already stressful enough.
There is a bit more to update to this story, but I don’t feel like getting into it right now.
Post # 79
did you ever find out why you weren’t asked to be in the bridal party?
Post # 79
I’m currently in this situation, I wasn’t asked to be my best friend’s bridesmaid nor did she even tell me that she got engaged, I found out through social media. While this is terrible that it happened to you, I’m somewhat relieved that I’m not the only one 🙁 I already hung out with her and she didn’t once mention the bridesmaids situation and I had to bring up most questionsl regarding the wedding. It seemed like she was hiding information. She at least had the courtesy of inviting me to her wedding via text message… I don’t know if I should ask her how many bridesmaids she’s having. I only found out about the bridesmaid thing because her sister is my coworker and another coworker asked her how she was doing her hair for the wedding and the sister said “well she wants the bridesmaids…” and at that moment my heart sank 😢
Post # 80
To the OP:
You seem like a thoughtful person who’s willing to go above and beyond for your friends. But don’t you think you’re being dramatic? It doesn’t seem like THAT big of a deal to be so broken up about being in this girls bridal party or not. You clearly care about her enough to want to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man but now you question if you should even attend as a guest? That’s silly! You’re too in your feelings with this–Be happy that your on the guest list, go to the wedding and let it be. Maybe the BTB just needs some breathing room– If she wanted you to be in the planning process she would have involved you from the beginning; you’re not a conjoined twin with OF. With that being said: Just because your not a Bridesmaid or Best Man doesn’t mean BTB doesn’t value you as a friend and just because you are her friend it doesn’t entitle you to be with her through this 24/7.
Post # 82
I didn’t realize this thread is 5 years old when I posted 😳🙄