(Closed) Watch Your Own Children

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You can have the only children invited be the ones in the wedding party.  At least that is a line that is drawn so you have a set rule.

Post # 4
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well you could plan some children’s activities like coloring books and what not. or just tell them directly. I think the second would be hard to do but would probably give the best results. Just say hey, I know everyone has different parenting style. If you decide to bring the kiddo’s can you please be sure they are on there best behavior.

Post # 5
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds like a note in an invite won’t get through to those family members. Maybe a face to face discussion or a phone call? In the end, the only way to avoid that is to have a ton of kids at your wedding- like what MissAsB said.

Edit: I meant avoid having a ton of kids…


Post # 6
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Don’t invite the obnoxious and disrespectful kids… that’s what I would do!  We had a “no kids” wedding, but our 2 flower girls were there for the ceremony and reception.  I had no problem with that because they are very well-behaved and their parents aren’t the type to get hammered and let their kids run amuck. 

Post # 7
1 posts

Is is quite common to invite children to the ceremony but not the reception.  You may want to provide childcare, however, to eliminate some of the complaining you’ll hear.

Bottom line is this – no matter what you do, there will be complaining.  People always feel very entitled, especially when it comes to their kids.

Choose a stance, then stick to it.  Set up a support system around you who will convey the same message.  That way no matter who the person asks, they will get the same answer.  (Moms of the bride are really good at this.)  Also, task a trusted maid of honor or best man to enforce the rule the day of the wedding – let someone else play the bad guy.

Also – expect people to threaten to boycott your wedding if you choose a no kids policy.  This is merely an attempt to guilt and manipulate you into doing what they want.  Besides, if they follow through (which usually they don’t), they probably aren’t people you want to share your big day with anyway.  Stand your ground, and don’t let people guilt you into doing something on your wedding day just so they can be jerks.

Post # 8
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve been to plenty of weddings that had a flower girl and a ring bearer as the ONLY children who were invited to the wedding (and the invitations specified “adult reception”).  I think that’s totally acceptable.

Post # 9
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

On our wedding website it said:

Due to the historical nature of the venue please keep small children under your supervision at all times.


Kind of makes it seem less kid-friendly.

Post # 10
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

have kids at the wedding and not the receptoion

Post # 11
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I guess I just can’t fathom why this needs to be said at all.  When I take my children anywhere I know that I’m responsible for them 100% of the time.  I’d guess that the majority of parents feel the way I do and the ones that don’t would probably disregard your note anyway.

Post # 12
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

A lot of people invite only the kids in the wedding. I dont see anything wrong with that. We are having no kids because I have a few cousins I DO NOT want at the wedding and its the only fair thing to do. (We dont have a wedding party)

Post # 13
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

This is the exact reason we had to have an outside wedding. Hubs has cousins that are very destructive and their parents are almost just as irresponsible. Last summer at a party my Mother-In-Law threw she had 3 champagne glasses and 4 plates broken by this crew without so much as an appology from anyone. At my wedding they showed up with their own food and drinks and even emptied our favor basket towards the end of the night. I second the option of providing childcare maybe in a seperate room of the venue. We booked our wedding near a playground but we didn’t get so lucky because it was raining that day… Best wishes for your sister- just know other people have family like this too!

Post # 14
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I love this, “Due to the historical nature of the venue please keep small children under your supervision at all times.”

That is SOOOOO going on our site too!

Post # 15
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Every wedding and other event I have been to, it has been a given that the parents are responsible for their own children and babysitters are not an option. That said, I would have a note on the reception card saying “Due to the historical nature of the venue, please keep children supervised at all times”. That way you are you not discriminating toward a certain age group since it covers all kids and older kids can be just as rowdy as, if not more than, younger inquisitive kids. Also, if you invite any kids to the ceremony, it is rude to not invite them to the reception as well, despite what may be common in certain social circles.

Post # 16
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would have your Maid/Matron of Honor or family member who is CLOSE to them) run interference and keep an eye on them. Let your Maid/Matron of Honor or family member know ahead of time, and If (when) they get out of hand, ask you Maid/Matron of Honor or whomever to go over and say something.

Example: My mom is nuts, so I’ve designated a family member to intervene when she gets out of hand.

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