(Closed) Watching Ricki Lake's special on engagements…

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - EDD 06/12/2016

@Tarheelgurl:  that’s stupid!! It’s so annoying when people think we are too young. I’m 20 and my FI is 21 we’ve been together 4 years and lived together for 2, why should we wait?! 

Post # 4
Member
19 posts
Newbee

I TOTALLY agree! It is beyond frustrating that people judge you and your ability to make a sensible decision based on your age.. I’m 24 and my SO is 25 – we’ve been together 3 years this year and living together for most of that time and we are far more mature and responsible than most people we know in their late 20’s+!

In fact, most of my close friends are quite a few years older than me simply because I have far more in common with people who have their life together.

Same goes for what age people have children.. I have friends my age with children who are FAR better mothers than other women I know in their late 30’s! Marraige and Babies may be easier later than life from a financial perspective if you’re lucky but age certainly does not define your abilities as a spouse/partner/parent in many situations.

You do not suddenly wake up at 30 and have your life together.. It’s about your experiences, your attitude and the people you surround yourself with. “If you’re under 30 don’t get married”??? PUH-lease!

Post # 5
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@Eden16:  “You do not suddenly wake up at 30 and have your life together.. It’s about your experiences, your attitude and the people you surround yourself with.

+1.

The whole theme of the show is stupid IMO.

Post # 6
Member
3645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Tarheelgurl:  Perhaps it will help to remember that it is TV and they purposefully looked for people with bad stories. A good story wouldn’t have made for as good TV watching (though I would have liked it better). 

Post # 8
Member
3057 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

WTF?? that’s ridiculous. Bitter women need to get off their high horses. You can’t possibly think that the day you turn 30 you are all of a sudden clear for take off.  I usually like Ricki Lake’s new show, that’s disappointing.

Post # 9
Member
3645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Tarheelgurl:  I totally understand, it is annoying.

Post # 10
Member
1852 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Whatever. I’m 24 and more mature than most 30 year olds. Seriously, I am the youngest person at my job and nobody notices the difference – they’re mostly in their early 30s. FI is 31 as of today and I’d say we’re equally mature. We hold down steady jobs and we’ve been dating for almost 4 years, why would I wait just because of what society expects of me?

Ugh.

Post # 11
Member
1825 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree with PPs…I’m 30 this year and I’ve learned that you can not judge people based on their age! I know plenty of mid to late 30 year olds who act like they’re 18!!!

Post # 12
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

It’s because Ricki Lake got married when she was older (I believe). She has to justify it

Post # 13
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Tarheelgurl:  i’m 22 and will be getting married at 24. Do i think that most people my age should contemplate marriage?  hell no!

Some people in their twenties are very mature but most aren’t. Generally speaking getting married young is not a good idea, hence the high divorce rate.

i personally don’t get my knickers in a twist like some girls here in the 20s section do when I hear about people advising others not to get married young or when i hear statistics about divorce amongst young people, mainly because i’m happy and secure in my relationship. 

Me and SO love each other and don’t care when we get married, if in 2 years or 10. It won’t change our relationship. We love each other and know we want to be together all our lives so a piece of paper won’t change that.

I think it’s important to listen to the cons of getting married young because it will help you make an informed decision. there may be a point of view you haven’t considered and that youcould find important. 

Getting all upset and aggressive about a tv programme that challenges your beliefs   is useless and will make others think that you are not convinced about your choices and feel the need to be defensive.

Post # 14
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@memo:  She needs to justify when she got married so she’s doing a tv programme about it???

Seriously???

Post # 15
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

@walnutgirl:  this is the most intelligent response to this post. I second everything you have just said!

As for Ricki Lake, I gotta say, I understand where she’s coming from.

When I was 21 and engaged I thought I was going to go against all of the divorce statistics and make it last. I thought all those people who made comments about how young I was were just rude and didn’t know me (which is true). I was always more mature for my age, I had a decent job at 20, and worked my ass off to buy a condo by myself at 19. I also had friends who were older than me. Doesn’t mean that I didn’t have a lot of growing up to do, and that didn’t guarantee that my husband and I wouldn’t grow apart. We did and we ended up divorced and I couldn’t be happier.

My parents got married at 20 and just celebrated 30 years together… my boss got married at 20 and also just hit 30 years. Of course young marriages can last!! Just be happy with yours, work hard at it and ignore what anyone else says.

Post # 16
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@walnutgirl:  IMO I’ve seen others try to make themselves feel better by bashing others doing what they didn’t. In a form of jealousy.

I agree with what you said in your earlier post. I’ve been with SO since I was 20, I’m now 25. We will for sure be getting married before 30. Marriage doesn’t change anything in your relatinoship. I could have married him when I was 22 or 28 or 33. No matter what age I marry him, we’ll still be the same people in the same relationship. We decided early in our relationship that we were dedicated to each other and were going to have an everlasting relationship.

I think the biggest problem is that a lot of relationships do end when people are in their 20’s because they are still figuring stuff out and some of those couples get married when they shouldn’t. It doesn’t mean all of these relationships won’t last. Those who did end in divorce, I think, try to generalise their situation by saying “20’s is too young” instead of “I was too young in my 20’s”

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