Post # 1
Hey Bees! I just want to say thank you, thank you and than you again for being so amazingly helpful with my first post. I am still sort of stuck in the middle fo this dilemma, trying to figure it all out.
My fi cheaated on me when we first got engaged with prostitutes that he contacted on line. Yes, they had sex and he dd this three times. Now, I excused it because I was not sexually active with him and wanted to wait until marriage. Igot so many different responses from the very few people that I told that it confused me if whether what I was doing (staying with him) was right or wrong. Please let me know what you think… thank you SO SO SO much, again.
Post # 3
He had sex with prostitutes. Get out. End of story. For all you know he could do it again and give you an STD. End of story.
Post # 4
Holy crap! No fricken way would I be ok with that! You should not be ok with that at all. Not being sexually active with him, because you are waiting until marriage does not give him a free pass to screw other women. And it’s definitely NOT ok to do it with hookers! I would be scared of catching an STD. Gross! If he cheated on you before you are married, chances are he will cheat after you’re married.
Post # 5
I think if your asking then you know deep down the answer. If you do not condone his behaviour (which you shouldn’t, he cheated on you for dear sake) then you should not marry this guy. Who says he wouldnt cheat again on you once your married? And with prostitutes.. I’m sorry but your Fiance has issues.
RUN, DON’T LOOK BACK, YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN HE HAS TREATED YOU
Post # 6
I would be really reluctant to forgive this, because it was intentional, premeditated, and happened more than once. He should respect your wish to wait for marriage, I don’t think that’s a good excuse, but maybe my perspective is skewed because I don’t find sex very important. Wheter you stay with him or not depends on so many things that I can’t really tell you what you should do. If everything else was good in the relationship, I would probably stay with a partner who cheated, as long as I could be confident somehow that it would never happen again. Ask yourself what has changed in him or in your relationship that he would not want to do this again, if he did it before? Will it always bother you that this has happend, even if it never does again?
As a side note, having sex with anyone but particularly a prostitute is dangerous. He could contract an STD and give it to you if you continue to get married and have sex. Demand that he is tested for all Save-The-Date Cards and HIV and shows you the results.
Post # 7
oh my. I am sorry but I really think you should get out. I think it is repulsive and so disgusting that he slept with prostitutes. If he could not wait for you he should not be with you. If he really LOVED you he would wait for you. This literally sickens me. Honestly, a man that would sleep with a prostitute is gross in my eyes. I would leave and never look back.
Post # 8
I thank you all. He says he did it becuase not ony was he not being sexuallya ctive with me but because I told him that we should holf off our wedding until I finish school. He said he had no idea if or when we were getting married so he went ahead and cheated. The premedidtated aspect of it all is what realy bother me as well. He has not cheated on me since and this was years ago. He was tested for everything as well. I am still confused though becuase it just does not seem right for someone that claims to love someone to do it 3 TIMES.
Post # 9
That is absolutely disgusting! Sorry, but how could you excuse something like that? Sexually active or not, he should respect you. You really need to forget this man and move on. Good luck to you.
Post # 10
@loli: That’s the thing, if he truly loved and respected you he wouldn’t want anyone else and he would wait for you. If you are questioning this now, years later, then I think you know you deserve better.
Post # 11
Agree with @MissPumpkinPie. That IS disgusting, and inexcusable! He showed no respect for you or your relationship when he did that. I’m sure it is difficult for him to wait until marriage, but let’s be honest, he could handle that himself, as he did for all the years before he was sexually active. What happens when you have a baby? You won’t be able to have sex for awhile after that-will he have the right to cheat then too?
His excuse is total bs, and you deserve better.
Post # 12
I’m sorry, but I think you need to get out while you can. He’s just giving you excuses and in a way blaming it on you for wanting wait til marriage.
Post # 13
If you stay you will set the precendence in your relationship that when you and him are not having sex it’s ok for him to seek it out elsewhere. Would you be ok if when you’re having a dry spell in your marriage that he get with a prositiute because you are not giving it to him?
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
Your first post was about him being violent and now this?
If you are real, you should not be getting married.
Post # 15
Ok i got cheated it was one time early in our relationship and i forgave him. What your Fiance did is so wrong. Once can be seen as weekness and a bad choice anything more then that is just disrespectful and selfish. And it wasn’t just some girl in a bar that he ended up getting drunk and going home with this is a person he searched out and payed. He had lots of time to realise what he was doing was wrong and never did. There is something wrong with a man who can do that 3 TIMES and never once thing of your feelings. I would leave his ass and never look back.
Post # 16
Honestly, if he can’t respect you enough to wait for marriage, he doesn’t respect your relationship. Don’t marry someone who doesn’t respect what you want, end of story.