Way to honor deceased mother

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
355 posts
Helper bee

I once saw a bride and her dad make a stop right before the alter to light a candle next to her mom’s photo and spend a moment thinking of her mom. It was really sweet & intimate. 

Post # 3
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Here are a few ideas I found online.

  • In your program, write a tribute to your mom, an anecdote about her, a favorite poem, or anything about or for her
  • Lay a flower from your bouquet on an empty seat in the front pew next to your dad.
  • Talk about and toast her at the reception.
  • Visit her grave after the ceremony and leave your bouquet there
  • Select her favorite song to be sung at the ceremony or played at the reception
  • At the end of the ceremony, releasing balloon is a special touch in honoring your mom at wedding. her name tag can be tied along with the balloon.
  • Hanging wind chimes or having a butterfly release to honor your mom can be beautiful and romantic way to show your love and you can feel her presence with wind.

So sorry for your lost bee xx

Post # 4
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Hello and congrats to you both. My mom also passed away, what im doing is having my bridesmaids in her favorite color. I am also going to have a seat in the front row that i am going to put her picture on with flowers. She is definatly going to be looking down on you. Have that special place for her.  I hope it helps. 

Post # 5
1295 posts
Bumble bee

My mom and my husband’s mom both passed. We had the officiant do a moment of silence before the ceremony and I carried a pin in my bouquet with my mom’s picture. I found that this kept the tears at a minimum for me. 

Post # 6
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My fiance’s mom passed away. We are leaving an empty chair next to his dad that my fiance will place a rose in when he walks to the altar. 

Post # 7
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

The way I honoured my mother was to put a picture of her into a locket, and then attach the locket onto my bouquet. That symbolized her walking me down the aisle, which would’ve been the case if she were at the wedding physically. We also had our officiant mention her right before the vows, and I also dedicated a toast to her during the reception.

Post # 8
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

bcrowe :  So sorry for your loss. My mother is deceased, and we are lighting a candle at the ceremony and I am having a bouquet charm that says “I love you to the Moon and Back” (something she always said to me). We are still debating if we want to do something else. With the lit candle we are doing an in memoriam in the program, stating the candle is for my mother, my grandparents, and FI’s Grampy.

Post # 10
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

DH’s Mom passed away when he was 21. At BIL’s wedding they had a photo of her at the head table. At our wedding we went a little more subtle. In life she was an artist and one of the last major projects she was trying to do was get a greeting card company off the ground. They had a few cases of ‘mock up’s’ in the basement still, so we used her actual cards (that she made by hand) as thank yous for both the bridal shower and wedding. People DID notice her business logo on the back of the cards.

At both wedding DH/BIL’s Godmother (who was their Mom’s best friend in life and practically helped raise the boys) gave a really emotional speech honouring her and saying how proud she would have been of them.

I also honoured my late grandmother by having her favourite flower (dasies) on my cake, and making sure all boquettes had at least one daisy in them.

Post # 11
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

bcrowe :  I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away just under a year and a half before we were married. I knew I’d be emotional on the day, so I didn’t want too much that would make me think of her (more than I already would) but I definitely had a few things:

-I found a poem while I happened to be perusing online that I absolutely fell in love with, that is about mother’s who’ve left us. I had it printed on the back of our programs with a picture of her above it. I felt like that would allow people to read it at their leisure, and if it was overwhelming to them, they could choose to turn the program over and focus on the front, which was more traditional program-y stuff

-I had her picture made into a charm that attached to my bouquet

-I had a very small vase made online that read, “In loving memory of [Mom’s name] who is present in our hearts.” with her favorite flowers in it near the table where we had our guest book/place cards

-I wore her wedding rings on a chain as my necklace

We thought about doing an empty chair with a flower on it, or lighting a candle, etc. but I decided against it more for my dad since I knew that he would already be struggling to hold it together. I know he wouldn’t want to break down in front of everyone, so I think to have the tributes I did more on the periphery were best for him, and also good for me, so that I didn’t break down myself. However, I attended a wedding where the groom’s father died shortly before the wedding, and they did a moment of silence for him that was wonderful. I was bawling in the pew but didn’t mind since I wasn’t up in front of everyone.

Do what you think you can handle and remember that the day is about you and your FH’s happiness and your mom will be smiling on you!

Post # 12
2424 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I like private tributes better, and program write-ups and pictures rather than ones that all the guests see. If I didn’t know the person I feel at a loss I don’t know how to react. I am not a fan of the picture on the chair and the rose, but I seem to be in the minority, everyone else loves it. I just don’t go for a wedding becoming a memorial service. 

Make sure others who were close to the deceased  know about the chair and rose. If I had done anything like that for my father, my mother would have been in shreds, sobbing.

I knew a couple in the past, you could say she was waiting, but the guy was plain. He saw no point to getting married, because his parents were dead and couldn’t be there to see it. That is the ultimate tribute I guess, or the ultimate excuse.

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