(Closed) Way to Remember Our Child (Stillborn) at the Wedding

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

im so sorry…

could you put his/her name or birthdate on a charm on your bouquet? or angel wing charm on your shoe or bracelet… just something small for you?

or just have a single candle lit in memory?

my cousins lost a groomsman a week before their wedding (i know, ouch, couldnt imagine) and their programs said something like “the flowers are in loving memory of…”

 

Post # 4
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We are going to have a vase sitting in one of the seats that has a poem written on it and then we are going to put one calla lily (our flowers) in for every dear person in our lives that we have lost (seven total). Some people I have seen also elaborately decorate one chair up front with pictures and memories of the person which looks very lovely when it is finished.

Post # 7
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I like the idea of having angel wing charm on your bouquet, or tied somewhere on your dress.

What about releasing some balloons, or flower petals, or “angel glitter” into the air for Moose, or including a note in your programs saying something like “thank you to all of our friends and family who have joined us as we start our family, and to Moose, who we know watches over us and will always be in our hearts.”

That is such a terrible, personal loss – I cannot even imagine 🙁   *Hugs* TheFutureMcBride

Post # 8
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss.

I think it is a difficult situation, but to be honest, I think the personal charm or something simple like the flower in memory of loved ones lost would be best. I also like gabrielle’s suggestion of the note in the programs. You don’t want sadness to overshadow such a happy occasion, and I think something like decorating a full empty chair could be awkward, especially since you say most people don’t acknowledge the baby. I am not saying your loss is mitigated by the miscarriage rather than stillbirth and I am not trying to not acknowledge the baby, but I think that if that is the stance your guests have previously taken, your wedding is not the time or place to force them to acknowledge your loss. I think it is more important to have a special way for you and your Fiance to remember the baby personally.

Post # 9
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry for your loss.  I obviously love your chosen name for your child.  I really love the idea of using angel wings in your day somehow.  It sounds like you really want to incorporate your child for you, rather than have Moose recognized outwardly by your guests so I think the angel wings would be a great way for you to feel the baby’s presence with you without really hitting people with the sadness on such a happy ocassion.  I’m sure whatever you choose to do will be right for you and your future hubby and that’s what matters!

Post # 10
Member
250 posts
Helper bee

This:   I think it is a difficult situation, but to be honest, I think the personal charm or something simple like the flower in memory of loved ones lost would be enough.

Along with a personal note in your program that thanks all friends and relatives for the support they have given you and hubby during good and bad times. And feelings about having angels watching over you…..

 Those closet to you will “KNOW” and the ones that don’t you really don’t want to ~ imo

Post # 11
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I agree with Tampamom that those who really are close to you will know what you’re going through, and all that really matters is your ability to commemorate your angel child. Blessings!

Post # 14
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am so sorry that you had to live through this.  My cousin also had a child who was born an angel.  I am sorry for your loss. 

I love the idea about a charm on your boquet.  It is nice way to remember your child.

Post # 15
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My friend who has lost several children named them all in the program, along with other important people who had passed including her mother and his father. I also love the idea of the angel wings on the bouquet.

Post # 16
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

i think something small but meaningful would be best like the program or the angel wing pendant. i like how you choose to remember moose, in your words – you “don’t want it to be something that hits people over the head” – i think that’s great. your wedding should be a celebration, a happy day, and i think a sweet, simple reminder is the best way to go.

my FSIL’s best friend got married last year and their wedding closely resembled a funeral with all the “remembrances” they went through.

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