(Closed) Way to steal our thunder…..VENT

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

@dunky31: What was taken from you? It’s been 4 months?

Post # 4
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Um, sorry. You get one day for your wedding, and other couples do not have to plan their lives around you. Also, length of time spent dating does NOT make another couple less worthy of being engaged or married.

Post # 5
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I was frustrated when a few friends of mine got engaged after me but married before me but I realized that it’s not a race and everyone deserves a special wedding (even if it’s their second).

Post # 6
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont get it. How have they stolen your thunder? Are you expecting everyone you are close to to hold off their engagements until a fixed time after your wedding?

On the flip side, would you hold off your engagement because someone else you know got engaged recently?

I think its exciting that someone you know is also getting married and will also be ready to talk about weddings constantly. You should enjoy this together because your not in competition and can even do things together!


Post # 7
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

As someone who dated my Darling Husband for more than 8 years before we got engaged, I definitely can relate to the frustration of having someone who has been dating for a shorter period of time than you getting engaged.  However, you got engaged around 4 months ago– it’s not like they announced their engagement a week after yours or anything.  

While it might be frustrating, I would focus on just trying to be happy for her, or at least not obviously displeased, which I am sure will just make his family upset.  Everyone deserves to be happy and to get married (even for a second time).  Now, if she announces her wedding is the same day as yours or starts going Single White Female on you and stealing your wedding dress or something, then I would say you can get upset.

Post # 8
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Sorry dunky31, I don’t get it. You’ve already had 4 months to enjoy being the center of attention. I absolutely agree with @Mrs Grape: that dating on/off (?) for 13 years doesn’t give you any more of a right to be engaged than any other couple. I’m sorry if waiting for that long was hard for you, but that’s not something you should take out on the newly engaged couple.

Please try to get some perspective. You’ll be much happier in the long run if you can learn to let this go.

Post # 9
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Agree with the other posters.  You can’t expect people to put their lives on hold because you are engaged and planning a wedding.  And it’s not as if they got engaged right after you…it’s been 4 months! 

Post # 10
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Stole your thunder?  How?  You’ve been engaged for 4 months!  Your 15 minutes of “fame” are looong over.  If someone doesn’t know about your engagement by now, they never will.

And, as I’ve said a million times before (and have read on here a million times), NOBODY cares about your wedding as much as YOU do. 


Post # 12
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sorry….I know how you feel.  We can be frustrated together.

At our wedding, my husband’s brother flew in from Europe with his new girlfriend of 3 months (his divorce was barely finalized). At our Friday night rehearsal dinner it comes out they are eloping on Monday, so now the attention is all on them. At the reception on Saturday, the news continued to spread and I swear they received more congratulations at our wedding than we did. All night long I heard “did you hear that Joe and Suzie are getting married on Monday?”. Yep, we heard!

Now I am about 9 weeks pregnant and we have not told anyone.  We were planning to wait until Christmas and after my first doctor’s appointment. Well don’t you know, his brother called this past weekend to announce they are pregnant with TWINS- their due date is a week before mine.  And it is the first grandchild on his side of the family. Trumped again…. 🙁

Post # 13
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010 - Ocean View Villas/Jasmine Seafood Restaurant

I can see the frustration, but try to think of the fun of having someone else to talk wedding with.  It can be even MORE frustrating when people around you are sick of the wedding planning talk.  So you’re actually lucky.  Give it time.

Post # 14
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I can see where you’re coming from. Fiance and I dated for a long time before getting engaged. Should one of my friends/family members have gotten engaged soon after me I probably would have been a little peeved but its been 4 months. Like another PP said, if they would have announced their engagement a week after yours then you would have grounds to be pissed but its been 4 months…

Post # 15
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@dunky31: It IS possible that they had started talking about getting married before you got engaged, and they’ve held off for four months out of kindness.

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