(Closed) Way to take the romance out of the proposal CNN

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Wow, somebody seems a little bitter!  ha ha

Post # 5
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Definitely kills the romance! How cynical can a person be?

But… I am curious how many people are going to get engaged tonight!!

Post # 6
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I stopped reading halfway thru.  She’s a bit of a wet wool blanket about the entire thing.

Post # 7
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think she’s right in that it does seem a bit odd that in this day and age where women can do ALMOST anything a man can do a woman proposing is still super unusual and sometimes even looked-down-upon. It’s just strange that that is the last of the “men must do this” things. 

On the other hand– BECAUSE the man is the one who is expected to do it you can pretty much assume that if he hasn’t asked its because he isn’t ready and thus asking him would probably be pushing him faster than he wants to go, which isn’t exactly a great outcome. Not that some women don’t propose to great results… but I’d say overall for most men it is probably a bad idea (my guy would’ve been unhappy). 

Post # 8
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@CorgiTales: Agreed. I have a friend that proposed to her husband in Italy. His response? “….well…..um….would we be getting married like, NOW?”

I wonder if this woman is married.

 

Post # 9
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I thought this was actually interesting, like CorgiTales mentioned, I still can’t pinpoint why in this day of women growing and becoming more independant, is a proposal still on a man. The ole question: why can’t a women propose? or why is it socially unacceptable or odd if a women does propose?

But I think the author was correct in that “a young man doesn’t face many opportunities to demonstrate manly initiative in the romance department. The proposal provides a ritual forcing him to show that he is thoughtful, capable, loving and sincere.” – which is the reason why us women still live by the “man does the propsing” lifesytle.

Post # 10
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Anytime someone starts comparing our habits strictly to that of animals and takes out the ’emotions’ and ‘feelings’ bit out, the article tips into the land of ‘insulting’.

This one meets with such a fate.

Post # 11
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

It was fairly intriguing to me, honestly. It’s true and it’s something I’ve silently wondered over. I don’t think most men would even take it seriously if a woman proposed, for whatever reason.

I DO think she’s cynical and bitter, that’s pretty OBVIOUS, but behind her sarcasm and disdain were some good points. haha. I literally giggled about the hat thing; Fiance wears hats almost daily.

Post # 12
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Meh, it’s kinda how I feel about proposals.  It’s all a bit silly, really, especially for feminists like myself.  I’m glad to say that Fiance and I thought planning our future together was more important to us than him putting on some crazy stunt to propose a decision that should be thought over carefully between two adults, and not posed as a “surprise.”

We had discussed marriage for a long time before getting engaged.  I knew exactly when he would “propose”–aka, give me my engagement gift (my ring).  There was no “down on one knee” on his end and no gasping with my hands over my face from my end.  It was just two adults finally deciding to take the next step in our relationship!

Oh, and I also got him an engagement gift, because we believe in equality in our relationship.  And the cost of both of our gifts combined was probably significantly less than the average engagement ring normally costs 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Oribel013690: Awwww! That is cute!

Mind if I ask what your gift to him was? Or is that too personal? In which case, I apologize for asking! Embarassed

Post # 15
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Definitely how I feel about the “OMG SURPRISE” proposal. Darling Husband and I came to the mutual decision that we should get married, I helped pay for my own ring, and that was that. But then, I’m probably in the minority of women. I would have hated a surprise proposal. If he’d made me wait, I would have proposed to him myself…and if he’d handed me the line of patriarchal BS, I would have walked.

Post # 16
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Sorry, I somewhat agree with the article. I find the whole elaborate surprise – bended knee – gasp – tears – “oh my god you want to marry me!” thing a bit ridiculous and contrived. Probably the reason why I never look at the waiting, proposals or rings threads.

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