Post # 1
I’ve seen a couple of posts regarding including your stepdad in the main parts of your wedding (walking down aisle, daddy/daughter dance, etc) for when the bride has no relationship or a strained relationship with their biological dad.
I’m kind of a unique case- while my biological dad and I have definitely had our struggles regarding our relationship, we’ve come a long way. Meanwhile however, I got VERY close to my stepdad. In fact I don’t refer to him as my stepdad when talking about him to others- when I say something about “My dad” my friends have to ask “Which one?” My stepdad has assured me he would like to contribute a significant amount of money to my wedding- he knows my boyfriend bought a ring and has since committed to sending me $300/month (a lot for a small town policeman). He’s also extremely close to my boyfriend, because they’re both in law enforcement. We spend a lot of time with them. My biological dad, on the other hand, probably won’t volunteer anything toward the wedding unless I come out and ask (or my mom asks him to help). We talk occasionally but I defnitely have a stronger relationship with my stepdad.
So here’s my issue. I want to honor both of them at my wedding without detracting from anyone’s “role” or “honors” as a dad. I’ve thought about my stepdad escorting my mom down the aisle with my dad and I following behind- then when the minister asks “Who gives this woman?” they could all say “Her parents.” I think that could be a great sign of solidarity. Thoughts? Also, what about father/daughter dances? I think if I have one for each of them it could get tedious for guests but at the same time I don’t want to leave one out (or skip it all together).
I guess I just want advice from a guest’s perspective (or from daughters’ perspectives) for ways to make sure everyone knows how much I love them. It really sucks that children deal with repurcussions like this so long after a divorce.
Post # 2
Same situation here, but not engaged yet so luckily I don’t have to worry about it for now. My cousin had both her dad and stepdad walk her down the aisle at the same time, and during the father/daughter dance, she started with her biological dad and then her stepdad cut in about halfway through.
Post # 3
Yeah @kaitie, that seems to be the way to go. Sounds kind of harsh when I actually type it out, but honestly if my dad has a problem with me being close to my stepdad as well he should have thought about that before leaving my mom.
Post # 4
My situation is similar.. I am walking myself down the aisle, but my dad is still doing a father – daughter dance. Step dad is saying prayer before dinner.
Post # 5
I posted a similar post yesterday! I hear you. I want to make sure my step dad feels included and it is tough. Some other bees gave me good suggestions for making both feel special, perhaps some of them would work for you? Check out the post:
To be fair, your situation is tougher. I am close to my step dad but my dad and I are VERY close, so I am worrying more about making sure my stepdad feels included without taking away from my dad’s moments, but for you I feel like it’s hard when your step dad is the one you feel closer to. Anyway, some bees were very helpful with suggestions on my post! Good luck <3
Post # 6
Thanks so much for your sweet advice! Best of luck to you as well @nordiclight <3
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2016 - pier 5 hotel
I have the same situation. My stepdad was the one who was mostly there for me. He taught me to drive, took me to the doctors when I was sick, told me when my exes were jerks ect. My biological dad and I were estranged for awhile but have been working on our relationship these past few years.
So what I’m doing is having the traditional father daughter dance with my step dad and then doing the electric slide with my bio dad then getting everyone out on the dance floor with us. I was nervous about my bio dad feeling “shafted” but when I told him I picked it bc one of my fonder memories of him when I was little was when he and I did that at a girl scout father-daughter dance he was very happy and honored.(from what I could tell at least)