Ways to make upgrading your engagement ring still special?

posted 2 weeks ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - City, State

I didn’t upgrade my ring in the sense that I replaced it. However, I got an alternate set. I don’t view it as an upgrade–just different. I still have and LOVE my original. But it’s a very old vintage set (almost antique but not quite 100 years old yet) and I’ve been banging it around for a long time. I wanted to get another set I didn’t feel so bad banging around (I’m very hard on my hands). I think it’s totally fine to have several different sets. You can still feel sentimental about your old set and wear a new set. Right now, I’m wearing my new set most of the time but still occasionally wear my old set.

Post # 4
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

Did you ever post a pic of your ring? Didnt he only spend $500 on it? Why are you opposed to buying your own ring? Personally I wouldn’t wait 2 years wearing a ring I HATE because my fiance was being cheap. You hate this ring, I’m not sure why youre concerned about a new ring you love being not as special. 

That said, you could easily just get a plain wedding band – you certainly don’t need a super expensive custom made band for a ring you hate and are going to be basically throwing away in 2 years. Dont throw good money after bad. 

Post # 6
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t get a custom band to match your current ring if you hate it. You could get a plain one or a nice diamond band to wear on its own, trust me getting one that doesn’t sit flush with the ER is not a big deal.

There’s no way to make a new ring be the one he proposed to you with since that will always be the one you already have. But you could do something special when that new ring arrives, like read your vows again to each other over a nice dinner or at the spot he proposed, etc. Maybe even take out the stones of the old ring and make a necklace, earrings, etc 

Be happy that you’ll get your dream ring and stop overthinking it!! x

Post # 8
Member
46 posts
Newbee

Just another thought, if you don’t LOVE your engagment ring and it’s a fragile stone, you could always wear your dream wedding band on your left hand until you get your dream Engagement Ring, and then your current Engagement Ring on your right hand or only wear it occassionally alone. Then when you get your new dream Engagement Ring, you’ll still have something ‘original’ and not change everything with sentimental value.

 

When my husband proposed, he didn’t have tons of money and got me a small stone. We later upgraded my ring per my request to the same style ring with a bigger stone. It ended up being a fun day and I still remember that day. We didn’t do anything super special, but it was still a fun day that I’ll always remember. 

 

And years later, I know it’s really not the ring that matters, it’s the fact that we’re both happy and happily married! And to make your new ring special, you could always show him two or three different dream rings (if you have more than one idea) and let him pick between the two and surprise you! Or get him a new wedding band at that time too to celebrate both having the jobs you worked so hard for. 

Post # 9
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

The hardest part is that we’re having to pay for a custom wedding band to be created because literally no wedding band exists that will sit flush with my current e-ring 

we have the money for a decent wedding ring that will feel comfortable to me but not the ideal engagement ring I want. I’m not sure what part of that is hard to understand

Maybe I’m just really dumb then? I guess I don’t understand paying (ex) $2k to get a custom made wedding band to match a ring you hate, and are actively going to replace. Why not just put the $2k towards the dream e-ring? What is going to happen to this expensive custom wedding band when you get a new e-ring and toss the crappy one? 

Post # 10
Member
691 posts
Busy bee

When we upgraded my e-ring for our 10 year anniversary (not technically an “upgrade” since I kept my original ring), we selected the ring together (with me doing most of the work researching cut quality, etc.).  When the ring arrived, my husband took receipt of the delivery and surprised me when I returned home.  He had rose petals, roses and candles throughout the house, was dressed in his best suit (I was returning from the gym, so a sweaty mess) and had a beautiful speech about loving more over the past ten years, etc.  I was in tears (and I’m not a cryer LOL).  It was very special and I loved all the thought he put into it.  So I am not of the opinion that an upgraded e-ring is somehow “less than” an original e-ring and I don’t understand the logic behind that opinion.  If it’s given in love as a celebration of your commitment, there is no difference.  

However, I second PP advise to NOT get a custom band for your current e-ring if you aren’t happy with it and plan on upgrading in a couple years.  It will not make you like your current e-ring any more and you will be throwing good money at something you don’t like.  A 5 or 7 stone diamond band or eternity band (or even a plain band) to wear alone now and possibly as a wedding band or right hand ring later would be money much better spent.  Or if money is tight, forego a band all together now and use those funds for your upgrade. GL

Post # 12
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You don’t need to wear your wedding ring and engagement ring together. Get a wedding band you love, and after your wedding wear your engagement ring as a rhr or not at all. Why pay so much for a custom band to go with a ring you dislike? 

For your upgrade: if you like 3 stone rings you can use 2 of the moissonite stones beside a center stone of your choice to preserve some sentiment of your original ring. 

Post # 13
Member
1694 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@skuzzlebutt:  Agreed. It’s pretty foolish to throw good money after bad, especially since a custom ring is usually at least $1K. I took a look at her old post: OP should consider the $500 spent on the existing ring as a sunk cost. Instead of taking her advice, OP’s fiance wasted funds on what is essentially overpriced costume jewelry because he didn’t want to save up for a ring.

View original reply
@blues507:  What is your budget? I’d recommend buying the wedding ring that works well alone and with your dream ring. You can always think of your dream ring as marking another milestone or anniversary in your relationship.

Post # 14
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

Agree with PP. I don’t see why you would spend a decent amount of money to have a custom band made for an e-ring you don’t like and plan to replace. 
There are plenty of options – 1. you could wear a plain band until you get your dream ring, 2. Wear a nice but less expensive ring (so many great choices on Etsy) 3. Don’t wear a ring until you can afford your dream ring. 

IMO there is way too much emphasis on e-rings. Of course they are nice and there is sentiment tied to them, but you’re putting too much pressure on feeling an emotional tie to a piece of jewelry. 

At this point I don’t wear any of my rings (e-ring, wedding band, or anniversary band). I could easily afford a large upgrade but I just don’t care that much. I know my marriage is loving and happy and that’s all that matters to me. I realize not everyone will feel that way, and some people love jewelry, but I feel like society puts way too much pressure on it as a reflection of your relationship/marriage. 

Post # 15
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

2 years down the road is a long time. Many people’s priorities change in that amount of time and once you’ve been married a couple of years your focus may be on saving up to buy a home, plan a big vacation, or start a family rather than for a new ring. I agree with PP’s, there’s no reason to spend thousands of dollars on a custom wedding band to go with your current ering if you’re planning on changing it. As for sentimentality, most people are more sentimental about their wedding bands (I know I am) and you will likely want that ring to remain the same for awhile. So buy a wedding band that will make you happy on its own now AND in the future, regardless of whether you choose to upgrade your ering or not. 

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