Ways to steer guests toward cheaper meal option?

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 106
Member
2099 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

“no one will order fish! have one meat option, one chicken optiomn and one vegetarian option!”

Proven wrong on this thread. Most people will order the fish.

 

Post # 107
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

rao4400 : You know what guests remember the most?  Food, booze, music, and whether or not the couple was happy.  When you read the threads about the worst wedding you attended, you’ll notice that a ton of them talk about the food.  It was bad, slow, cold, there wasn’t enough, there were limited options, etc.  So while I totally get hoping that people will pick cheaper options, I don’t think it’s worth trying to nudge people in one direction.   I think your original menu sounds awesome and would cover most guests dietary preferences.  If budget is an issue, then I’d advise cutting back elsewhere.  I’ve been to dozens of weddings and you know the things I don’t remember?  The centerpieces, seating charts/cards, invitations, favors, chair covers, matching napkins, uplighting, etc.  A hotel shuttle would be an awesome bonus, but it’s not really necessary.  Your money is better spent on the food than on many other wedding extras. 

Post # 108
Member
6829 posts
Busy Beekeeper

thekhaleesi :  

When kids act that way we call that a temper tantrum.

You would miss/leave the reception of loved ones because you cant eat the ravioli….? interesting. People will be enjoying themsevles because eating is not the only thing people come to weddings for. You can dance, drink, get to know new people. When my students get “cranky” because not everything goes their way, I always try and think of other positive outlooks. They learn how to deal, and more importantly they are learning that they dont always get what they want and that it turns out ok. We call that coping skills.

A tantrum? Seriously? Because eating the only food option (ravioli), as you suggested, would cause me to be ill for weeks? 

You’re eloping, correct? That’s a good thing. Have you ever attended a wedding reception? Or had a drink or two on an empty stomach? I wouldn’t be cranky because things didn’t go my way, I would be cranky because I was hungry and I would leave early to find something I could eat.

The minute you invite people to an event it’s no longer just about you. If you are going to host an event and invite people to celebrate with you, you have an obligation to actually host them in a reasonable fashion. Otherwise, why bother? It doesn’t have to be expensive. It really should be thoughtful. I’d rather attend a backyard bbq reception hosted by a considerate bride and groom than a reception at a fancy venue where there was no consideration given to guests’ comfort and enjoyment. 

The same brides who don’t give a damn about their guests will be back here posting after the wedding about the crappy gifts they received. It never fails.

OP–if you’re going to listen to some of these people please at least let your guests know you don’t really care if they get dinner so they can pack their own meal. 

Post # 109
Member
7418 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

beethree :  “The minute you invite people to an event it’s no longer just about you. If you are going to host an event and invite people to celebrate with you, you have an obligation to actually host them in a reasonable fashion. Otherwise, why bother? It doesn’t have to be expensive. It really should be thoughtful. I’d rather attend a backyard bbq reception hosted by a considerate bride and groom than a reception at a fancy venue where there was no consideration given to guests’ comfort and enjoyment.”

 

10000 times this!!! 

Post # 110
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m not going to tell you how wrong and etc this idea is cause even though I didn’t read the whole 8 pages, I’m guessing you already heard it. Here’s what I’d do :

I’m sure it’d be 110% against etiquette but what you want to do is against etiquette anyway. If you really want, you could on on the card asking the menu choice put like a little star or something and put “our favorite!” or something like that. Sometimes they do that in restaurants or bookstores here to say that they recommand something (it’s actually “coup de coeur” but I can’t find an english translation). So people would know that it’s really good and you recommand it but would still be able to choose. it’s not really subtle though but it get the message going. You could also just really talk about how good it is to people invited when you talk about the wedding.

Post # 111
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee

This thread is making me hungry.  

Post # 112
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2025 - City, State

Don’t…

…offer meat options you think will be less popular in the hopes people won’t choose them.

…offer more expensive options if you aren’t prepared for everyone to select them.

 

Do…

…give the ravioli a slightly more detailed description (not so much that it’s obvious).

…list the ravioli first, so it doesn’t look like the afterthought vegetarian option.

…avoid labeling the ravioli “vegetarian.”

…use your “freemium gaming” experience to choose different font colors for each option on the reply card.

Post # 113
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Do NOT label the ravioli as “vegetarian”. It will turn some people away.

Post # 114
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

mtlgirl :  i agree this is a great idea, a star next to the ravioli as your favourite

Post # 115
Member
1700 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Cost aside, one of my biggest wedding pet peeves is when people offer a vegetarian option that is a appetizer size salad with no protein. I am allergic to shellfish, so I would steer clear of the shrimp instantly. Good on you for offering a substantial alternative meal to the mains that you would actually want to eat. 

Post # 116
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee

How are people going to figure out the “cover your plate” tradition?

Post # 117
Member
5864 posts
Bee Keeper

mimivac :  I would order the fish as well, I love seafood.

I just don’t want anyone side-eyeing me begrudging me the fish when they’re the ones who offered me the choice of fish. I’m also happy with vegetarian entrees or apps-only or cake & punch, just don’t make an offer that is given begrudgingly, I’m happy with a sammich ffs, but don’t pretend you’re offering me a choice while trying to steer me in the direction of what you actually want. 

I’d never fault someone for being on a budget- but do what you can afford to happily do rather than try to manipulate the choices and begrudge the guests what you offer them. 

Post # 118
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

rao4400 : You know what guests remember the most?  Food, booze, music, and whether or not the couple was happy.  When you read the threads about the worst wedding you attended, you’ll notice that a ton of them talk about the food.  It was bad, slow, cold, there wasn’t enough, there were limited options, etc. 

True that!  I am getting hitched in three weeks – no dancing or booze at our 11am wedding so that leaves the food to obsess over!!  LOL!  But you are right – people remember a short service and the food.  (I do NOT judge a religous service that runs long, that is very personal.  I have been at civil weddings where there are three love songs, four poetry reading, a sand ceremony….yeah we get it!) I never remember napkins, centerpieces, first dances, aisle runners…like who cares.  Food is what people remember!!!  I have a Girlfriend relative, she gets her own meal at our buffet.  Anyone else that I know is vegetarian or has an allergy I would certainly accommodate.

Post # 119
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

mimivac :  Can you help me please. I do not understand about the word “meat,” with the saying “have one meat option, one chicken option, one veg option.” My understanding is that chicken is included with the word meat. But the sentence says like the 3 are different items. Can you help me? I try but I do not understand it.

Post # 120
Member
9569 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

mrsnyctola :  often people will consider chicken/poultry and fish seperate from “meat”.   “Meat” here refers to the flesh of four-legged animals.  In my experience, unless someone lists meat seperate from poultry as mimivac did here, I assume meat is all flesh other than fish–just as you did.  Basically, what I’m saying, is there is flexibility in the definition of meat.  

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