(Closed) We agreed not to talk about it again until it happens..

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I feel your pain – I have been going through the ‘silent treatment’ for monthsFrown.  It all came to a head last summer, a week before my good friend got married.  I had a melt down because I felt he was nowhere near thinking about marriage.  Then he told me he was planning a surprise but didn’t want to spoil the surprise. 

Since then, nothing has happened.  I had another meltdown around October time and told him the way I’m thinking we’ll be getting married in 2013.  He agreed with that and again said he didn’t want to spoil the surprise.  I’ve been on tenderhooks whenever a special occasion comes up.  At New Year, I had a chat with him about a timeline and he said 2-3 months.  We’re going on a trip away for Valentine’s week and I’m hoping it will be then.  He also just got a bonus at work so no excuses now!

Since New Year, neither of us have mentioned marriage/ engagement.  I have no idea if he has a ring or if he’s planning to propose when we’re away.  He won’t say anything!!  I am counting down the days til we go and hoping that I won’t be disappointed. 

My advice is to keep yourself busy cos I don’t think we can rush our men along.  They will just do it at their own pace.  I don’t think my SO has any clue how much stress and torture he is putting me through!!

Post # 4
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

@future.mrs.c:  

Boy do I ever! I understand the money worries too. It’s so hard to hold your tongue when you see them spending money on other things sometimes. We, too, have a tentative timeline to be married by Spring/Summer of 2013. It’s hard to see the time go by and wonder if they will stick to their word. I think it’s good that you both agreed to no more wedding talk. Ironically, my SO and I are in this same stage as he has made references to a 2012 wedding but has not proposed.

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/getting-married-this-summer-but-not-engaged

Even though you were worried about the mid-Feb idea in your mind, I think sometimes our SO’s are trickier/wiser than we sometimes give them credit for. I often find things out “after the fact” and think why didn’t you tell me that forever ago? 🙂 I think they do keep us in the dark sometimes which is so frustrating, but I think they do this with the best of intentions. It’s hard for me to remember that, but it’s part of that having faith thing that you just have to trust sometimes.

Best of luck to your and your waiting period! I hope it goes by quickly and you are engaged in no time!

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