(Closed) We all messed around and now he's angry!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Gross. Just gross. All of it.

Post # 33
Member
3274 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Totally in the wrong. Drunkness is never an excuse and you should have all left the situation. Doing anything drunk you haven’t talked about is stupid. If me or my fiance’ ever did that, even if we were both there, I don’t think we would ever forgive each other, it’s just wrong. 

Post # 34
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Sounds like your man is mad simply because he couldn’t rise to the occasion and is now pouting because he couldn’t participate in a certain way. If he was hard, are you seriously telling me he wouldn’t have been right there with the other guy? I don’t buy it. If he wanted you to stop, he should have said something instead of just watching.

Personally, I would not be pleased if my SO thought it would be cool to slut shame me to hide his insecurity over his own inability to perform.

Post # 35
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s amazing that so many girls are are willing to blame it on the man not being able to perform. Yes, this is a tricky, multi-faceted situation. But as a couple, if my partner were suddenly not involved at all in a situation he used to be really enthusiastic about, I would see NO excuse for not checking in with him. Just because he’s not stating out loud “Okay, not cool, stop!!” doesn’t mean I would have the go ahead to completely ignore reason and stop thinking about what he may be feeling. 

OP, why didn’t you check in with him? In such a sensitive situation. And unless you were unconscious, no amount of drugs or alcohol can explain away that behaviour. It sounds like you got what you wanted so it didn’t matter if he was satisfied, let alone comfortable.

Post # 36
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

And this is why you shouldn’t experiment under the influence of drugs or alcohol without clear rules and parameters agreed upon by all parties.  Give him a day or two to cool off and then address the situation.  Unfortunately, what is done is done and now you have to deal with the fallout because there were no agreed upon rules or boundaries.  And yes, he’s probably mostly upset because he was unable to perform and therefore unable to enjoy the situation himself.

Post # 37
Member
40 posts
Newbee

There is no going back. This will ruin your relationship. He will never get over this. He will get mad for no reason and this is what he will be thinking about. You should brake up now even though it is hard Because he will never see you the same again. FYI when guys dream about threesome its him with two girls.  

Post # 38
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Ok I don’t think anyone is right or wrong here, it is just one big drunken mistake that probably shouldn’t have happened, but it did and now you gotta move past it.  You two need to have a long sit down and you really need to figure out what he is feeling and what he is really angry about.  I’m sorry all this is happening but I’m sure if you two really love each other and are willing to put in the work you can get past this.

Post # 39
Member
40 posts
Newbee

View original reply
alyssaC:  false he will never get over this. Don’t sit down and talk to him unless you are ready to hear you are not his princess anymore and all he can think about is his friends dick inside of you. Sorry but that is the truth. 

Post # 40
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
Chloie24810: Wow way to make assumptions about this relationship and her Fiance. How do you know he won’t get past this? Do you have some magic link to his brain or a crystal ball that looks into the future?  No you don’t so you have no idea what will happen when they talk, obviously he doesn’t just want to end things with her because he hasn’t yet.  Stop being so damn negative and acting like you know exactly what will happen because you don’t.  Will it be hard to get past this? Yes. Is it impossible to get past this? Absolutly not.

Post # 41
Member
40 posts
Newbee

I was in the military and have seen this happen a 100 times. so yes I know exactly how this will end. even if he does stay with her he will resent her forever and be rude to her. They will fight constantly 

Post # 42
Member
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
Chloie24810:  Does being in the military come with some sort of clairvoyant powers?

Post # 43
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
Chloie24810: Even if you’ve seen happen 100 times, you do not know the ending.  I’ve seen it happen twice, both couples are together and happy. How does that work for your assumptions?  You still don’t have that magic link or a crystal ball, so once again stop being so negative and either give the OP or leave the thread. You have said what you think and have nothing else to add.

Post # 44
Member
40 posts
Newbee

I am basing my comments on real situations that happened not just what I think or what she wants to hear. Also, I am not on here to get in a fight with people. We don’t even know these people. 

Post # 45
Member
40 posts
Newbee

Why does my opinion not matter? You are the one calling names and getting ugly. Last time I checked 100 is greater then 2 (using your numbers) so they are not equal. I did not realize you had a crystal ball that shows you everything will be ok?  Sometimes what people need to hear most is the hardest to say. She can read my comments and move on if she chooses. I will not stoop to your level though and start calling you names or being rudely sarcastic like you have with me.  You should take your negativity and attacking tones elsewhere. I’m just giving her food for thought, you are choosing to attack me.  

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by  Chloie24810.
Post # 46
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
Chloie24810:  So am I, I know real situations where the couple has gone through something similar and with hard work they stayed together and were happy.  And you replied to me first, completely negating my entire comment, how is that not looking for a fight?  Last, no I don’t the OP or her Fiance but this is a community and even if we don’t know anyone we still help our fellow bees when they need it, I may not know her but she is still someone I want to help because she obviously needs it.  I hope that is what the other the bees are for too, to give and recieve help, not from friends but from people who care even though they don’t know your real name.

The topic ‘We all messed around and now he's angry!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors