(Closed) We are required to include an insert with our invitations, but….(long)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

wow.  That is strange.  I would def put a clarification on the website.  Hopefully people will look to that for more information??  Also, word of mouth will help.  Could you put clarifying edits on your main invitation (aside from their requried insert)??


that’s all i got right now.  good luck!

Post # 4
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’ve never heard of the venue requiring you to include anything in your invitation….not even sure they can ask you to do that…is it in your contract with the venue?  I mean, would they really even know if you didn’t include it in the invitation?  I really wouldn’t send it with my invitations…that sounds like information that would be more appropriate for the wedding website (where you could edit it to a better explanation of each thing!)  

Sorry, I know this probably doesn’t help but if it’s not in your contract, I wouldn’t do it.  And I don’t know if I would sign a contract if it contained something as crazy as this. 

Post # 5
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Can you include something about “from the venue”.  That way people know that this isn’t from you.  I don’t think it is bad to suggest a dress code on your website, I added one because I know that half of my family will show up in their jeans and a polo shirt (which I would never do, or allow!) and didn’t want my FI’s side to be over-dressed. 

Post # 6
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

How will your venue know if you include this with your invites?  Are guests required to present the insert at the door on the day of your wedding or something?  Undecided

I would be bothered by the same things you are.  Honestly, I wouldn’t know what the hell “smart casual” means.  (I would Google it to find out, but I am not super surprised that some of your guests thought it meant they can wear jeans.  It’s a weird phrase and not commonly used.  Why not “cocktail attire”?)

Also, I agree with you that it sounds like BYOB…  Why does your venue require you to send this insert?  That’s so weird to me.  It sounds like something that the bride & groom would receive with their contract; not things that guests need to be made aware of…

Sorry, I know that doesn’t help your problem.  I guess my first instinct is to tell you to re-write the insert; include all the important information like parking and accommodations, etc. – but reword the dress code (if you even want to have one), and take out the part about beverage requirements.  But it sounds like you’ve thought of that and can’t do that…  I’m just confused about how your venue would even know.

This is so weird!  I’d be so irritated by my venue if they made me send something like this to guests.

Post # 7
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Hm, interesting. Here is my two cents. It says you have to include it…but it says you can change the font. Could you use the “strike-through” function on the two sections you want guests to disregard? And then, you can staple or glue a cute little sticky on the front of the print-out that says, “please disregard the statements that have been struck out” or something to that effect. You still have provided the guests with the information, but you are doing so in a way that they have the info and they can disregard it after reading it (which you know they will because they will be curious). I would create my own little addendum that says,

“Please disregard the statements crossed out below. For contractual reasons, our venue has required we provide you with the following information but please note the following: a) please dress in cocktail attire and b) we will be supplying beer and wine for the duration of the reception. Thank you!”


Post # 8
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with Ms Bookworm. Include all the pertinent information from the insert and omit what you don’t want included. I’m a freak about my invitations matching, and if I had to include a pamphlet from the venue, I would probably reprint it on a matching insert anyhow!

Post # 9
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

i would say skrew it and not include the insert… they cant make you do that…

Post # 10
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i think putting the info on your wedding website is fine… there is no way i would put that in my invites. I assume this is an outdoor venue (hence the no glass policy) but there is no way they can make you inclue that in your wedding invites.. perhaps this “sheet” is ore for party rentals or conventions etc…. 

but i agree how would they know???

Post # 12
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I just checked back on you and am glad you were able to work that out!  =)  The bee IS amazing for suggestions! 

Post # 13
2360 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ms Bookworm: My first question!

How is the venue going to know whether or not you changed something? Is there some penalty if you do? Do they require a copy? Then give them one that isn’t edited, and then cheerfully edit away on whatever you put into your real invites. If they find out, play dumb/stressed-out-bride and say you misunderstood. 

I’m a compulsively honest person, who holds to high principles when it comes to honesty and plain dealing. But in this one case, I’d make an exception!

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