(Closed) We are swingers – ask away!

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 196
Member
672 posts
Busy bee

 i don’t get BDSM.  It’s just exagerating and role playing regular aspects of relationships. But I don’t see the Point in play acting those aspects out. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  .
Post # 197
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2006

Wow, I just read all the posts. Thank your for the support. Please know that it was difficult to write an entire account of the evening and I found this site not knowing where else to go or who to talk to. I accept full responsibility. I am angry and resentful at me husband and I feel humiliated but again, had I been honest with him or stopped the situation, it would have been a different outcome. First and foremost, I was not raped. Not even close. I never said stop. My hands were behind my back, untied. I looked him defiantly in the eyes the whole time and if any sound came out of me, it was a growl. While we have played with many other couples and my husband and I participate in bdsm play together, this was the first time I allowed someone else other than him to dom me. in fact, the majority of the time, it is I that holds the crop. I found myself unable to step back. If I did, I would lose. At the time I was proud that I pushed my limits and held my ground. A stupid mentality in retrospect. In the end, it seems I lost a lot more than just pride. From all the reading I’ve been doing, what I experienced was sub space drop. And boy did I. With no aftercare it just escaladed the negative emotions. My husband’s lack of understanding of all of this has been very hurtful but I am truly the one at fault here. I got over my head, and I tolerated things I would never have tolerated with my husband. And then I was dishonest about how I felt as a result. This experience has shaken me to the core but I’ve learned some valuable lessons about my capabilities or lack thereof. This world of swinging and bdsm can truly be a wonderful place and has been for a couple of years now. So much so that I hope I can regain the courage and trust to go back there someday. 

Post # 198
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

napili:  OH NO! Talk to you hubby about sub drop! He should be more understanding! Hugs honey!I would suggest a weekend of just you two and romance. No bdsm play just reestablishing your relationship with love, trust and hope. Sub drop sucks. And can take days sometimes weeks to over come. You need to talk to your hunny about this.  I am so sorry. Also, you can PM me if you ever need to 🙂

Post # 199
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2006

Thank you again for your candor and understanding. Just being able to have this conversation has eased my anxiety. This morning, we did exactly what you suggested. We booked the weekend away at one of our favorite romantic getaways. Wish us luck!

Post # 200
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

napili:  Awesome! And good luck!!!

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