(Closed) We are swingers – ask away!

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 80
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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@swingerbee:  Yes I didnt mean to imply that swinging caused it, but from what I know it was *one* of those couples many issues based on what they told me themselves. For two of the couples it was their main issue as one of them in each of the couples were in love with ppl they met swinging and left their partner for them

Post # 81
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

While I am monogamous I don’t judge people who are.I also have to roll my eyes a bit at those people asking like well why get married then.If you are about to get married or married already I would think you would be aware of the legal and tax benefits to marraige, and oh being in love with your spouse.

I think polyamours/open/ swinging and whatever people want to call it has been long documented in our history. It’s nothing new!

@op I have a friend who tried to swing when we were in college but her and boyfriend found that it was all older people some older then their parents. So they turn to having threesomes with people, it was an open secret I guess. They are still together, and I  always wondered if they still do it. So my question is is it easier now to meet couples your age, with the internet and what not? Do you guys have age limits for the other couples?

Post # 85
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@foreverlovex:  Is your entire relationship about sex?  I would imagine not, so why would theirs be?  I imagine their lifestyle is a tiny fraction of their marriage.  They still have everything else, just not monogomy.

 

Post # 86
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

I have no questions, I just find solace in a non-monogamous thread, and I noticed a few other non-monogamous bees in here too. Always makes me happy to see that I’m not alone! <3

Post # 87
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

very fascinating and informative thread! thank you OP!

Post # 89
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@swingerbee:  Just wanted to thank you for such an honest, insightful, educational post. It’s wonderful that you decided to share such an intimate *no pun intended* part of your lifestyle with the Hive. It’s great that you were able to be so open and honest for the benefit of the rest of us. So thank you! 

Post # 90
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

If you continue after you had kids would you always keep it a secret from them or let them grow up knowing, or tell them when they’re older?  If you chose to keep it a secret how would you hide it and how would you handle it if they found out?

 

Thanks for doing this! I love to hear about peoples lives who are different from me.  People so often get stuck in their own boxes and forget about everyone else, myself included.  I like to learn about the world around me when given the chance 🙂

Post # 91
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

What are your thoughts about the social ethics of swinging? High risk sexual behavior puts a HUGE burden on society. Given that you can be HIV+ for months before it finally shows up on a test…

Personally I think people who choose risky and/or unhealthy lifestyles should bear a larger part of the resulting economic burden. STDs are a drain on our economy to the tune of BILLIONS of dollars every single year, and that’s a cost that all Americans share equally right now. SO not fair. We already shift insurance costs in some ways to people who choose to smoke or who choose not to maintain a healthy weight – what do you think is your ethical responsibility to your community, in terms of mitigating the economic damage of your lifestyle choices? Would you be ok with paying a surcharge on your insurance, for instance, if you have more than 2-3 sex partners per year?

This gets into privacy concerns – but at the same time it’s a massive public health issue and to a certain extent, if you expect a company to pay for your sickness, privacy goes out the window with regard to that voluntary relationship you’ve got with the company at least…These diseases are almost totally preventable with behavioral changes, and they are so so expensive. If we didn’t have to bear these costs we could put the money into non-behavioral diseases like Lou Gehrig’s for example, where we have no idea yet how to prevent or treat it.

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