(Closed) We are swingers – ask away!

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 107
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

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@Magdalena:  Do you think you or your husband should be held personally and financially accountable for your HPV treatment and any potential health problems it could have caused? Or by your theory should everyone be obligated to explain how they were infected?

Should I pay lower premiums than you? I’ve had multiple partners and 0 STDs.

 

Post # 108
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Someone may have asked this, so I apologize if this is a repeat…

You said you both set very clear boundaries. What are they? What are the exact boundaries and limitations?

Post # 109
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@swingerbee:  Good to see someone representing! It seems like non-monogamy doesnt get enough good press, with people only talking about it when it didn’t work for them. I have a boyfriend and my husband and I have a female play-partner, and we’re just one big happy family 🙂

Post # 112
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

I have a question. Do you ever worry that by inviting outside sex from other people, your husband might feel a strong connection with someone else and begin seeing them secretly? Or potentially fall in love? 

I realize that cheating is possible in any relationship, but do you ever worry that by voluntarily putting yourselves in the sexual path of others that it could happen more easily? 

Post # 113
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@atacrossroads:  see my response above (I posted before you edited):

Whoops I posted before you edited. Obviously you can’t prevent all hpv infections. I have been treated for an HPV infection myself. Just like a lot of people get lung cancer who never smoked a day in their lives. So obviously everyone should get the same treatment post-diagnosis, but if there are people who are knowingly and willingly risking their health, they should probably help shoulder the burden that lays on society. I think there should be a surcharge for people who willingly expose our health care system to greater expense due to how they choose to live life or entertain themslves or whatever. Maybe have the proceeds automatically directed to an NIH program that funds pediatric oncology, which is WOEFULLY underfunded compared to mostly behavior-based illnesses like AIDS.

It’s not very libertarian of me but when it comes to healthcare no man or woman or child is an island, to paraphrase. We all end up paying for each other. At this point how expensive it is (people are DYING because they can’t afford appropriate healthcare screening) I don’t think it’s out of the question to ask people with 100% optional, high risk sex lives to pay more.

My lifestyle is very health conscious and low-risk in all areas, but low risk doesn’t mean no risk. Nevertheless, low risk is much less expensive for our health system than high risk. 

Post # 114
Member
231 posts
Helper bee

This is a very informative thread,,interesting and a learning experience for some of us bees..

 

It seems that whenever there is a conflictive topic that is uncomfortable to some , we get these self rightous people who judge very harshly

 

If this is not your interest,, move along I am sure you can find an interesting topic to add your two cents to..

 

This bee is offering her knowledge to others,,

 

Judge not 

 

Post # 115
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

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@swingerbee:  It’s so interesting, because one would assume someone with this lifestyle has an “all is fair game” mentality, which is clearly not the case. Even though you had jealousy issues to some degree in the beginning, you were able to overcome them essentially by confronting them head on. I don’t know that I could ever do it. However, I can’t help but wonder if the relationships that tend to fail due to infidelity and such would have otherwise survived, had they instead recognized and adapted to each others desires and needs early on.

Post # 116
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

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@Magdalena:  And how do you expect this would be enforced? Because honestly if I knew that I would be charged more as a swinger, I just… wouldn’t tell them? When you bring “behavior based” into it, that’s where it goes downhill for me. Do you honestly think it would be fair if you were charged more as a patient had you developed cervical cancer due to your HPV infection because someone decided that your husband’s “behavior” caused your illness? Or that you were engaging in a high risk scenario by sleeping with a man who had multiple partners prior to marrying you? The only true non risk option is to remain forever abstinent… obviously not realistic. It seems as though you hold yourself in a higher regard than swingers health-wise, but in reality your medical situation could easily have been dire. 

Post # 118
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

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@atacrossroads:  There would clearly not be a way to enforce this.  Just like once we had anti-sodomy laws, and no homosexual sex laws that are no longer constitutional or enforceable.  

Post # 121
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

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@AngelR88:  Agreed. What if I were a gay man who actually contracted HIV at birth and had been in a monogomous relationship for 20 years, having insurance companies potentially look to penalize me for my “behavior based illness.” Totally complicated and invasive.

 

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