(Closed) We are swingers – ask away!

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 123
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@atacrossroads:  don’t get me wrong, (and I do feel bad OP I jacked your thread a bit) I am fully aware of how dire my situation could have been. As a matter of fact, not to Too Much Information, but my husband also only had 1 sex partner prior to me. We were both low risk.

Regardless, it’s true, if something like this were put in place, it’s easy to lie on the insurance application. It would be ridiculously intrusive to ‘check up’ on it… but the same thing happens now with smoking. You could check off the wrong box on the form and go home and smoke up the wazoo. Some places do blood tests to check for nicotine but my workplace does not. I’m sure some people do falsify it just to get the lower rate. But I think most of the time the insurance company is relying on most people wanting to be honest. It’s technically fraud to lie. Although again, how are they going to nail someone for it?

The reality is that as a nation we are really moving to this carrot and stick type “incentive” system. They start with the carrots… offering prizes and so forth for healthy activities… but a lot of places are taking advantage of the rollout of ACA to add in the stick. It blows but that’s where we are going.

Post # 125
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Also just to be clear, I don’t think I’m “better” or something b/c I  pursue a low risk lifestyle. My husband has high blood pressure and we pay way more for life insurance due to that. We’re trying to get it down but it’s tough. Just wanted to add that.

Post # 126
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

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@Magdalena:  You’re not answering my question directly though if you think the system you outlined earlier should apply to you, and is that fair. Because it only takes one time for an STD to happen. Therefore whether you’ve had 50 partners or 1 you run the same risk of an infection.  Do you hold yourself to that healthcare standard? 

However you’re right, this is a threadjack. Apologies OP. 

Post # 127
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@swingerbee:  I’m glad to hear it, obviously the other steps you are taking (condom use etc) are helping 🙂

Post # 129
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Good for you for sharing your positive relationship.  The first part of our honeymoon is at Hedo.

Post # 131
Member
930 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I find this so honest. Without delving into too many personal details, can you describe the transition from no women being allowed to touch your husband to allowing sex? Were you just caught up in the moment or was it gradual over many encounters? What is it like to see your partner have sex with someone else? Is it just as much a turn on for you as him?

Post # 132
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@swingerbee:  I really commend you on several points here; first, being willing to open yourself up to share with others and illuminate the lifestyle, and second on your very strong and healthy marriage.  Kudos to you for living your life to your fullest!

I admit, I find the lifestyle fascinating and I really do think that done “well” (ie with honesty, respect, clear communications and boundaries), it can be the best of both worlds and an asset to a long term relationship, not a burden.  Sometimes I think that polyamory and swinging are the next social evolution of long term relationships.

Post # 133
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@Magdalena:  Just because you are a doctor doesn’t mean you know much about public health. I found your post condescending.

She said they swing about 6 times a year.

That means, at most, they have 12 (shared) partners a year. Do you know how many people have one night stands 12 times a year? A lot. If you are single and have sex 2x a month, that’s you.

If you are using protection, able to afford nice vacations to swinger resorts (i.e. NOT an economically vulnerable person), not engaging in male-male sex (feel bad even saying that), you are NOT a high risk sexual group. And if you know anything about HIV prevalence patterns, there are certain groups that have higher occurence of HIV than others. They are not in those groups.

CVD is a bigger burden on the healthcare system than HIV/STDs…

And as far as your comments about HPV…GARDASIL. Although the main researcher on that product actually regrets creating it since, what, 90% of infections clear up on their own?…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 134
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

OP – I find this thread fascinating. Thanks for sharing your choices and being so open!

Post # 136
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

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@swingerbee:  Love this thread! DH and I are open to discussing this at some point in the future (like 10-20 years) if either one of us wants to. But at this point, we are happy being monogomous. But I totally understand your ability to be 100% secure in your relationship. Until this one, I could have never done it or even thought about it. But I’m so secure and know that even if he slept with someone who was prettier or gave better BJ, he would still be with me because of the connection we have.

How did you swing when DH couldnt touch another woman? My brain just isnt computing how that works…

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