Post # 17
@julies1949: “When your Mom said “You know, if you two just want to get married at the courthouse, it won’t bother us.” , she may have been trying to be supportive of whatever decision you make, rather than indicating disinterest.”
That’s what is hurtful though. I’ve said for the last year that we do NOT want a courthouse wedding. We’ve been very vocal that for US, personally, that cheapens things. Fiance in particular is dead set against it.
I want my family and friends to want to see me have a wedding with more than just some judge in a dingy courtroom pronouncing us man and wife. There is nothing special about that for us. For other people it’s fine, for us that’s just resignation that no one cares so let’s do the cheapest, easiest route to being a legal union. I’m sorry if that offends anyone.
Post # 18
@DW82: You “want them to want…” is the problem. That must be tiring, trying to control the feeling of others.
Ok, it’s disppointing that they are not all OMGDW82’SWEDDINGSOFAB! but they have lives, let them live those lives. The sweet part of that deal is that they let you live YOUR life where you get to do what YOU want to do.
No doubt some people will like to attend a “Real” wedding. But I think that you are follish if you spend a lot on this thing.
Post # 19
@FauxPas2012: I think that was uncalled for. Do you feel better about yourself, putting me down like that?
Post # 20
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Spot on, I fully agree with you.
Post # 21
@DW82: I know that is the image that a lot of people have of courthouse weddings, but not all courthouses are the same. FI and I were originally planning to get married at the courthouse in Santa Barbara, and my mom had a fit until she saw pictures of it:
(unfortunately, we were unable to have it here due to family logistics)
Again, if you talk to a photographer in Seattle about scenic locations, then maybe you can find a justice of the peace or other officiant willing to do a ceremony in a beautiful location other than a courthouse or church?
Post # 22
@rosiedee: Wow, that’s a heck of a courthouse! The one where I live is nothing like that. It’s old and dingy and ugly. Kinda like the rest of the town :
We have looked at locations online for Seattle but the ones we’ve found are designed for large weddings. There’s some near Mt. Rainer, which is a special place for us. I’ll have to ask Fiance about it. The one problem I see is getting my grandma to fly. My grandpa actually brought that up when I mentioned Seattle last year. My grandma hasn’t been on a plane… well not since I’ve been alive and I’m almost 32.
Post # 23
@DW82: Hm…the main reason why we didn’t go to Santa Barbara was because my godfather wasn’t well enough to fly cross-country. So I understand that the logistics might be a headache.
If you’re going to just have a small wedding with immediate family, then getting a ‘wedding venue” probably doesn’t make sense and you may be better off finding a nice restaurant with a beautiful courtyard or fireplace or something. Again, if you research photographers, they may be able to help you with figuring out a nice location because they have local knowledge, and may even have example photos.
Maybe you and Fiance should just get married in Seattle (with a dress and photographer) and spend the night there, go on your honeymoon the next day, and then have a nice dinner with your family when you get back?
Post # 24
Here’s an idea…get married on a cruise ship. The chappels are small and your family will fill up the pews.
Post # 25
@rosiedee: It’s important to me that my family be there. My grandma will drive any distance, but flying probably not. Which I understand. I tolerate flying – barely.
The closest place that has anywhere nice to even eat at is 3+ hours. When I say I live in a rundown dirty town, I’m not exaggerating. That’s why we have been looking at venues. If we are going to travel anyway, might as well make it worth it! Plus it’s easier and a shorter flight if we fly out of the city straight to Seatac vs my small airport, to DFW, then to Seattle. I’ve made that flight many times and it’s 8+ hours of travel.
We’ll probably go with an intimate resort in the city (Santa Fe or Taos have some very nice ones) regardless of who attends. That’s what we’ve been planning. I just wanted to have some help planning and some excitement/happiness towards it.
Post # 26
@DW82: You should have what YOU want, for ONLY YOU. That’s it. No one else matters.
I have found when I make a choice, everything starts flowing. Just make it. And you’ll see. And if it’s not the right choice…you’ll know. 🙂