(Closed) We aren’t inviting kids….proper way to make this point?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think the most polite way to do it is to just address the invitation to the adults you’re inviting, since you’re not supposed to expressly point out those who are not invited (and some people do the trick with the RSVP’s where they write “___ of 2 will attend” or “We have reserved 2 seats for you” to really drive the point home).  But a lot of people go the “Adult Reception” route to make it absoolutely clear.

However, judging from what I’ve read on this subject by other posters, whichever way you go about it, you will still probably end up getting people who add their kids to the RSVP or call to ask you why kids aren’t invited – so be prepared to field questions and stick to your guns either way.

Post # 4
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m having a no children wedding (except for my own and my god-kids that are apart of the wedding party) Basically I put a cute little rhyme in with the direction in the invitation saying ..

“While we love to watch children run & play,

This event is an Adult’s Only Day!”

 

Everyone totally got it and no one was even upset about it. I’ve had a few people that wont be able to make it because the don’t have babysitter but I’m fine with that.  I think it’s a great idea esp considering how late the reception is.

Post # 6
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

We added a section about our wedding being “adults only” on the FAQ page of our website and we addressed the invites to only Mr. & Mrs. So and So. A number of our guests have children and not a single person complained or rudely brought their kid along anyway. 

The website snippet…

Are children invited?
Unfortunately due to space limitations, we will be having an “adults only” reception. The only children that will be included are those who are part of our wedding party as well as any out of town guests. We hope you understand. If anyone needs assistance in making arrangements for child care, please let us know and we will do our best to assist you. 

Post # 7
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

well on my reception card I will be saying ” Adult Reception to Follow”

Post # 8
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The way I have seen others on here do it is state Adults Only Reception on the invite and clearly state how many are invited on the RSVP.

I think this is the most tactful way. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am not a fan of writing on the invitation that the kids are not invited.  I agree with PP that addressing the invitation to the people invited should be enough of a sign that the kids are not included.  There will always be a couple of people looking to break the “rules.”  Just deal with them on a case by case basis.

Post # 10
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@candykiss – thank you. I also just addressed the invites to the people that were invited and on the RSVP cards I put guest attending etc. It also eliminated unwanted +1, +2 etc.

Post # 12
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@candykiss– I just handwrote them. It was much easier cause I just addressed to invitations and put the amount of people the place was saved for. Mine didn’t look bad either. I would order a few extra RSVP cards just in case you slip up or smear the ink. But I say save the money go for handwritting, they are only coming back to you one the RSVP anyway. 

Post # 13
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This is my Info/RSVP card.  It might be hard to see but on the info side we put “we hope you will take advantage of a fun night out and kindly request that this event be adults only”, then to further drive it home on the RSVP card we put “we have reserved ___ seats in your honor.  ___ of ___ will be attending”

 

After all of this, if someone brings their kid then they’re just doing it to piss us off.  🙂

Post # 14
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@candykiss: The polite thing to do is the invite those guests who are invited to your event, and make no mention of those not invited.

Then if that fails and people RSVP for guests that weren’t invited, you call that person up and explain that there has been a misunderstanding and you cannot accomodate their request.

 

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