Post # 1
Hive…I need your advice. I am starting to design our invitations and website and need opinions on how to make it clear that children aren’t invited. We love kids, don’t get us wrong. Several of our cousins and friends have little ones (in our case, most of the kids in the family are very little, under 3 years). Our wedding ceremony and reception is from 7-12:30 which is past most kids bedtime, especially at that age, and we don’t want them being cranky or their parents having to leave halfway through. We also don’t have enough room in our guest list to accomodate everyones kids (I can’t rationalize paying $50 for chicken fingers!).
So the question is this…what is the best way to politely tell guests that children aren’t invited? I’ve talked with some friends who are also getting married and they have taken different approaches. Some actually put right on the invitation “Adult only Reception” or something similar. Some just addressed the envelope to the adults (Mr. and Mrs. So and So, no “and family”) and crossed their fingers that people would get it.
What have you done? What has worked? Did you find people brought babies/little children anyways? Thanks hive!!
Post # 3
I think the most polite way to do it is to just address the invitation to the adults you’re inviting, since you’re not supposed to expressly point out those who are not invited (and some people do the trick with the RSVP’s where they write “___ of 2 will attend” or “We have reserved 2 seats for you” to really drive the point home). But a lot of people go the “Adult Reception” route to make it absoolutely clear.
However, judging from what I’ve read on this subject by other posters, whichever way you go about it, you will still probably end up getting people who add their kids to the RSVP or call to ask you why kids aren’t invited – so be prepared to field questions and stick to your guns either way.
Post # 4
I’m having a no children wedding (except for my own and my god-kids that are apart of the wedding party) Basically I put a cute little rhyme in with the direction in the invitation saying ..
“While we love to watch children run & play,
This event is an Adult’s Only Day!”
Everyone totally got it and no one was even upset about it. I’ve had a few people that wont be able to make it because the don’t have babysitter but I’m fine with that. I think it’s a great idea esp considering how late the reception is.
Post # 5
I really like that poem! Maybe I will put that on our website somewhere, to further drive it home without just bluntly saying keep the kids at home.
I know I have a cousin who is going to be upset that she can’t bring her 2 yr old and at the time of the wedding, she will also have a newborn, but I made sure to talk about it with her already and I’m totally willing to help her arrange to get a babysitter since she is coming from out of state.
I’m hoping people are smart enough to just realize that this is going to be late at night and people will be drinking and isn’t appropriate to have the kiddos at. If someone doesn’t want to come to the wedding bad enough to arrange a baby sitter they shouldn’t come anyways. We want everyone to want to be there and have a blast!
Post # 6
We added a section about our wedding being “adults only” on the FAQ page of our website and we addressed the invites to only Mr. & Mrs. So and So. A number of our guests have children and not a single person complained or rudely brought their kid along anyway.
The website snippet…
Are children invited?
Unfortunately due to space limitations, we will be having an “adults only” reception. The only children that will be included are those who are part of our wedding party as well as any out of town guests. We hope you understand. If anyone needs assistance in making arrangements for child care, please let us know and we will do our best to assist you.
Post # 7
well on my reception card I will be saying ” Adult Reception to Follow”
Post # 8
The way I have seen others on here do it is state Adults Only Reception on the invite and clearly state how many are invited on the RSVP.
I think this is the most tactful way. 🙂
Post # 9
I am not a fan of writing on the invitation that the kids are not invited. I agree with PP that addressing the invitation to the people invited should be enough of a sign that the kids are not included. There will always be a couple of people looking to break the “rules.” Just deal with them on a case by case basis.
Post # 10
@candykiss – thank you. I also just addressed the invites to the people that were invited and on the RSVP cards I put 2 guest attending etc. It also eliminated unwanted +1, +2 etc.
Post # 11
Yes, thanks all! I think I will put the poem on the website to keep the somewhat touchy topic lighthearted and I like the idea of putting the ___of ____ will attend on the RSVP to help eliminate not only having children come, but also unwanted +1s.
@LOGAHN1981 : Did you just write in on each RSVP card the of __? Or did you print each one individually? I am working with a seller on Etsy for my invites and not sure if she would charge more, as obviously some invitations will be __of 4 or ___of 2. Do you think it would look bad if I hand wrote them in?
Post # 12
@candykiss– I just handwrote them. It was much easier cause I just addressed to invitations and put the amount of people the place was saved for. Mine didn’t look bad either. I would order a few extra RSVP cards just in case you slip up or smear the ink. But I say save the money go for handwritting, they are only coming back to you one the RSVP anyway.
Post # 13
This is my Info/RSVP card. It might be hard to see but on the info side we put “we hope you will take advantage of a fun night out and kindly request that this event be adults only”, then to further drive it home on the RSVP card we put “we have reserved ___ seats in your honor. ___ of ___ will be attending”
After all of this, if someone brings their kid then they’re just doing it to piss us off. 🙂
Post # 14
@candykiss: The polite thing to do is the invite those guests who are invited to your event, and make no mention of those not invited.
Then if that fails and people RSVP for guests that weren’t invited, you call that person up and explain that there has been a misunderstanding and you cannot accomodate their request.