Post # 16
Charliejeorge : I don’t even know if there’s the potential for me and the guy I was cheating with to start a relationship. Ever since this all came out I let him know I need some space right now. He understood and has made himself available if I need it. Our sex wasnt our of love or exceptionally passionate. It was just filling a need we both had. I hope to find someone where I can say “This is how it’s supposed to feel”. I haven’t felt that in a long time. My husband and I stayed together way past our expiration date. We should have known we shouldn’t get married when we just up and decided to get married, I bought myself a ring with his credit card, and his way of proposing was sliding the ring box across the table at the restaurant we were eating at and saying “This came in the mail for you today”. Not very romantic lol
Post # 17
This is your “learn from it” marriage. My high school “group” was about 20 women, most of whom married in college or immediately after graduation.
In that group of marriages, there were 17 divorces. All in that group married successfully in their second marriage except for one, who has been married four times, obviously a different category from the rest.
You and your husband both sound firmly grounded in common sense and maturity, something that was most likely not the case when your relationship began as much younger people.
Proceed as you are now. May your subsequent relationships be blessed by the maturity and wisdom that you have helped each other learn!
Post # 18
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
anonforthetimebeeing : HA! My proposal was similarly romantic. He did get down on one knee, but said “So, you wanna?”… then avoided all wedding discussion for about 2-3 months… I should have known better. We had both cheated too… him for the entire length of our relationship, me just once I realized it was over but I was too scared to start completely over. It was stupid and I regret it. Surprise, surprise; I didnt actaully find anyone to start over with. I did it alone and it was the best thing I could have ever done.
Post # 19
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
It sounds like you are more suited as friends and you stayed together out of habit and comfort. Divorce is the right answer here. Be happy for eacother and move on with your lives.
Post # 20
anonforthetimebeeing : Your proposal sounds so much like mine from my first marriage. Which, ended in divorce as well. Although, not nearly as amicably. lol
I think you both are making the right choice in getting a divorce. it sounds like you haven’t connected in a really long time and have just been living as roommates that never saw each other.
To your question about being excited, no, I think that’s totally normal! I was SO excited when my ex and I split up. I even had co-workers commenting on how happy I was the week following him moving out. lol I will say, being single wasn’t quite as much fun as I thought it would be. I did get lonely and sad at times, but I also grew tremendously and figured out what I wanted and needed for the future. Best of luck to you – I hope you spend some time focusing on yourself and your needs.
Post # 21
This actually sounds like a really hopeful and positive position to be in. You married someone you were with for a long time- the default relationship. Now, you are living like roommates, have done for years, and you’ve both already moved on (mentally, emotionally and sexually if not entirely physically). The legalities are really just a formality at this point. It sounds like both of you are ready to get on with your own lives.
Post # 22
TwilightRarity : I just feel so weird moving on so quickly and easily. I thought I’d feel so devastated if anything happened to this relationship even after cheating. Things are definitely weird between us. I think we’re afraid to get too friendly because of the divorce. At least I know I am. I know these things take a while. I know when my friend got divorced they weren’t trying to make it difficult. She wanted what was hers and he wanted what was his. No arguing, no fuss. It still took a year. I think I’d be a little sad if we couldn’t talk amicably for a year, but I have a feeling that is just the safety net of the relationship talking. And the fact that I’m human.
Post # 23
Your marriage died a long time ago and that’s why you’re not too upset about it. This was a long time coming.
Who gets to keep the dogs? That’s what I would be worried about!