We broke up…he got with someone straight away

posted 7 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
6409 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I don’t have any respect for a man who calls hookers and mutual friends for sex, but then again, don’t break up with someone if you don’t mean it. What he did was nasty; what you did was manipulative  (at least if you wanted him back).

This isn’t a healthy relationship in any way. 

Post # 17
5409 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Normal guys don’t just have a hooker on speed dial so it’s weird that he had her number to begin with. It’s really odd that you don’t care about that bit.

That said you didn’t have a fight, you did break up with him and now you have the consequences of your actions.

I don’t know why you think your only problem is that he contacted women you know, you are ignoring the thing that made you break up in the first place.

Post # 19
10587 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

bambii :  

In vino veritas.

Drunk has nothing to do with anything. Alcohol merely takes the brakes off; it does not change people.

It’s lovely for you that you can be so cavilier about OP’s ex pursuing sex workers. Many of us are deeply repulsed by any ”man” who would so exploit a woman.

Post # 20
530 posts
Busy bee

beeeyonce : You dodged a huge bullet. I also think you are much better off not being in this relationship as it wasn’t healthy at all! 

Post # 21
167 posts
Blushing bee

To be fair you had broken up. It’s still jerk move to text mutual friends for sex but you were not not together at this point. Also he clearly has used the prostitute before (probably during the relationship) and it’s hard to be casual about it without knowing if she is independent contractor or human trafficking victim. Anyway, you’re better off. Your relationship was not healthy to start with. Better for both if you to move on.

This is not something I would do and I would be super upset. But i actually know quite a few people who do this. My friend whenever she breaks up with her fiance (about 3 times a year) she joins tinder and has a date the following day. 

Post # 22
88 posts
Worker bee

That’s awful bee, I am so sorry you’re dealing with all this.

Honestly, I would start to put the pieces together to move on. This is not a man that makes you happy and there is no reason good enough to stay somewhere that makes you unhappy.

See if there’s a way to have family and friends help you with this time.

Hugs x

Post # 23
768 posts
Busy bee

That is so GROSS Bee.. 

Im sorry but no matter how hard he is “hurting”…he had hookers on speed dial?! 

That’s grim. 

He obviously has no respect for you – fight or not.. 

Youre probably well off out of this one, it doesn’t sound like a good healthy and mutual respectful relationship.

Post # 24
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

My ex husband did this.  When we fought he’d reach out o n FB to girls at our work and send them sexual texts.  The first time I caught him he said the same thing.  “I was hurt, drunk etc.”. I caught him again, and eventually We divorced.  (For many reasons not just this).   BEe this is not  normal to try to cheat when you have a fight with your SO. You deserve better.

Post # 25
3934 posts
Honey bee

bambii :  Guys *and* girls do dumb things when drunk, but it’s important to remember that it’s all in character. Your boyfriend wants to get with hookers and your friends or he wouldn’t do it. It’s not like alcohol suddenly made him desire a prostitute. And how did he happen to have a prostitute on speed dial?

Post # 27
2489 posts
Buzzing bee

I think she said the last thread was posted on behalf of another bee, so that may not be relevant to this situation. 

That said, THIS post is full of red flags. Bee, you’ve clearly dodged a bullet. Don’t for one second think about going back to a guy who calls prostitutes (wtf). Whether or not he was drunk or recently broken up with, any guy who would even consider paying women for sex would be a huge no from me. And this wasn’t just one, it was multiple prostitutes who he was trying to arrange to come to the home you shared… Yikes. No way was this his first rodeo. He showed you who he is, believe him.

Post # 28
1054 posts
Bumble bee

browneyedgirl24 :  Yeah, but I’m honestly leaning toward she is posting about herself and just saying that it’s for someone else. 

Post # 30
8423 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Not really sure why you want opinions. No normal person breaks up with their partner and immediately tries to order a prostitute. Bullet doged. Move on with your life. 

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