(Closed) I don’t know how we are going to afford our wedding.

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 32
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Can you call and negotiate on yor medical bills? Often hospitals will set up a payment plan and they often reduce the amount because they don’t really believe everyone will pay.  Just call and tell them you are struggling with the bill and see what they can do.  But check to see if you have to pay interest.

Post # 33
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

First of all, I can only imagine the stress that planning a wedding on a tight budget is causing. Fiance and I are financially stable, but we are having a somewhat small budget wedding in order to stay financially stable. I don’t think that you should take out credit card debt in order to take a honeymoon as PP suggested. You do not want to be spending your complete savings on your wedding. Fiance and I have a wedding fund, and while there are several things that we would LOVE to have (chivari chairs, elaborate centerpieces), we aren’t willing to dip into any long-term savings accounts to do so.

I’ve had to give up some things that I’ve wanted, but at the end of the day, our wedding is just that – one day. Our honeymoon won’t be immediately after our wedding, due to time constraints but I am completely fine with that. Take off to a nearby town for a few days and then take an extended honeymoon when you have the money.

I can’t stress enough how good it will feel at the end of your wedding day to continue into your married life debt-free (and stress-free). Good luck!

Post # 34
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with missbeachbum. Though you want to have a perfect wedding it’s not worth putting yourself in debt for one day. I’m getting married on a small budget by choice. I don’t know where you are in the planning stage but there are a few corners you can cut. Though hard, limiting your guests will save you on invitations, food, seating. Doing a lot of DYI will save a lot. I did almost all my stuff. Going to stores like dollar tree or hobby lobby….if you have them there saves a lot. Having a buffet line instead of sit down….maybe even have family make the food. If you have drinks maybe consider a cash bar or maybe make just one or two signature drinks for guests to pick from. As for a honeymoon, plan it for later. You’ll probably get money from the wedding guests and you can use that for your honeymoon. That way you have a exact budget for it…..or use it to pay bills, get your own place. Just figure out whats really important to you. Good Luck.

Post # 35
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

A suggestion to you and also opinion wanting from other Bees… What about taking out a loan if you can get one? I checked with TD Bank and their rate was 7.24 which is better than credit card rates.

Post # 36
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am in the same boat. We have been engaged since October 2010 and are getting married in November 2011. We had planned to set aside a specific amount of money each month, but unexpected expenses kept creeping up. We thought we had still given ourselves plenty of time to get things paid off but we’re coming up on being just three short months away and I’m overwhelmed!! I think we will be ok but I’m stressing for sure. My mother is not able to help much, and I’m incredibly blessed that my future mother in law is paying for the DJ, cake, and helping with the food for the reception. If it weren’t for her help, we’d be eloping.

As far as honeymoons go, we booked a cruise for $309 a person (for 5 nights). We went through a travel agent who allowed us to put down a $400 deposit (which my future mother-in-law put on her credit card and will let us pay her back once this is all over), and then let us make monthly payments. Some family members who won’t be able to make it to the wedding have given us money as gifts, so we have set that aside to use for the cruise. Fortunately, we live only 4 hours from the departure port, so we will be able to drive there instead of flying. I have a friend who was in law school when she got married, so she didn’t have time for a honeymoon. They waited until their one year anniversary and took one, which she said she actually preferred. She said it was nice to not have the extra stress of traveling right after all the wedding stress.

It’s mainly the small expenses that are killing us. We thought we had taken everything into account but we clearly did not. I was approved for a $5000 personal loan, but decided that starting our marriage with that much debt, on top of our own student loans, was a really bad idea. We also have very little credit, except for our student loans, but we were each able to get a Capital One mastercard, each with a $300 limit. This will be used only for very last minute emergencies. The agreement said that if you make your first 5 minimum payments on time, they will automatically increase your limit. So I’ve been spending about $100 a month with the card and paying it off in full to keep it clear for any emergencies.

Good luck to you! I hope everything turns out well. Just try to keep in mind that the most important thing is that the two of your are married by the end of the day. If the stress from the financial aspect of your wedding is really starting to get to you, then you might need to take another look at things and consider scaling it back. You could take your $5000 and go to the Carribbean and get married on the beach and have an amazing honeymoon all at once. My fiance and I have really had to take stock of what’s important to us, and I think we’ve matured because of it.

Post # 37
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

whatever you do, don’t go into debt for this!!  my wedding is about half your budget, and i’m still really excited about it and looking forward to it.  the honeymoon we haven’t even really thought about – it will happen several months after the wedding and that’s fine, we’ll save up for it as i refuse to put it on my credit card and then spend the honeymoon wondering how the hell i’ll ever be able to pay it back.  the bachelorette party? it can be a couple of rented movies, everyone brings a bottle of wine and some food – done!  it’s more about spending time with your friends and celebrating with them. i just went to a wedding where my friend the bride made ALL the table decorations herself and they looked awesome – big candles in glass candle holders, and pretty colored stones and beads scattered on the tables. simple, but very effective.

you really don’t want to start your married life together in debt – remember that it is about the two of you making a commitment and celebrating with people you love. you can do that with pizza and beer if you really needed to…. good luck and try and keep things in perspective!! i know someone who is still paying off the loan she took out to cover her extra wedding costs and that was 10 years ago. if she could go back she NEVER would have taken out the loan she just would have spent less money. 10 years paying for 1 day seems crazy to me.

Post # 38
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Here is my suggestion because we were in a very similar boat and were able to keep the wedding under 5k. 

 

1. Don’t do a dj, see about renting some sound equipment like speakers and get an ipod dock or something to conect whatever music player you have. See if you can talk a guest/family member into doing to initial playlist(walking down the isle, first dance, walking away as husband and wife)

2. Do a cheap honeymoon we stayed ONE NIGHT in a hotel an hour away. After you are married and finish school you’ll be able to go on more trips together. 

3. Do things cheap. We went to the dollar store for a few things and did a bunch of stuff DIY. My in laws helped with cooking the food and our cake(we did a homemade cheesecake and muffins). 

4. Find a venue that is cheap/free that you love and works with your what you want. Our close friends at the time let us use there back yard. It had a BEAUTIFUL veiw and no one cared that there was a house a few feet away. 

I don’t know your guest count but you can definitely make this work. You just have to get creative. AND REMEMBER you are marrying the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. If your wedding is as golded as you want it then oh well. To much focus is on the wedding and not the marriage these day. In the years to come you will be able to have even better parties for anniversary. 

Post # 39
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Like many of the other bees have said, you don’t want to start your marriage off in debt. IMO, it’s just not worth it. It’s 1 DAY and you shouldn’t spend the next xx YEARS paying for it.

If you have your heart set on a honeymoon and have already committed to all these vendors, have you seen these websites where guests can “gift” you things like the dj, honeymoon, etc. Essentially, giving you a cash gift to help pay for everything. Since you are living with your in laws, you probably aren’t having a registry so this may work for you.

http://www.depositagift.com/?gclid=CNvwsuutn6oCFQh2gwodbCT76A

 

Post # 40
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We’re in a similar boat. I think part of the issue is that when you start planning you think that you have X amount of money for the budget. So you start booking things. Then stuff comes up in between….like you mentioned the medical bills….and suddenly it’s like 3 months away from the wedding and you’re freaking out bc you don’t know if you can afford it! But you also can’t cancel a bunch of stuff because you’ll lose out on money!!

Have you sent out your invites yet? Could you postpone it a few months? We considered this because our venue told us we wouldn’t lose our 1500 deposit if we just pushed the date.

We also cut out the wedding cake. We’re still doing sheet cakes for dessert but saving a couple hundred by not having our own fancy cake. We’re having a friend do our videography, and another friend is our photographer. Consult all the vendors you have and explain your predicament and see if they will cut you a deal (emphasize that you really really want to keep them because you love their work, will recommend to others, etc).

And of course I’m DIYing EVERYTHING in the name of saving a buck.

My last-ditch effort if we come up short on the day of the wedding will be to take a loan from our grandparents.

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