Post # 1
My boyfriend proposed to me on NYE after dating for just over 7 years. We live together, own a house together and are pretty much married in every way expect on paper so I thought picking a date would be a breeze. Not so much…
I really want to get married this year. The dates I wanted were September 9 or October 22. He is dead against getting married this year and says he feels like I am pressuring him. He wants to get married next spring. Both of us are stubborn and don’t want to budge.
Did any of you have a similar problem with not agreeing on a date? What did you do to comprimise or what advice to you have that might help us? I really want to start planning but am stuck until we have a date.
Post # 3
@jamithebride: I wouldn’t push the subject much. Maybe just take a step back for awhile then address it again.
My situation wasn’t about the date, but J wasn’t too excited about my excitement. I became extremely stoked after J proposed and immediately had a date and didn’t even ask his opinion on it. I knew I wanted a long engagement for several reasons. It also helped I knew I want to get married in October. So, I chose my date and told him. He thought I picked out the date rather fast. Hey, everyone was curious! I began looking at wedding ideas, posting on here, and brought up a few ideas to talk about with him. He told me everything seems so premature because it’s far off. I took this as my rushing the wedding that isn’t for awhile. I took it upon myself to not even bring up any more wedding stuff unless he asks. It seems to be working rather well and he asks questions here and there without having me bombard him with all my ideas and excitement.
Post # 4
I haven’t experienced this, but why is he dead set about getting married in Fall 2011? Does he have a reason?
Post # 5
maybe he’s concerned about having enough time to save for the wedding? talk about why each of you wants to get married when you do…marriage is about compromise, and that begins with the wedding!
Post # 6
We had this issue, although we both wanted a summer wedding. He wanted to get married in 2012 & i wanted to get married in 2011. His only reason was that he wanted to make sure we could save enough money to have “the wedding we deserved”. End result we’re getting married June 22, 2012. You guys should sit down & listen to each others reasons for wanting the date. Its all about compromise.
Post # 7
Thanks! We haven’t discussed it for a few weeks but if it is going to be this year we need to get the ball rolling. I know he is excited and wants to get married but I don’t quite get his reasons for wanting to wait. Our wedding is generously being paid for by my parents so money/saving isn’t really an issue. He is the first of his friends to get married so I know he feels a little weird about it – BUT we will both be 29 by the time we’d get married so there definitley hasn’t been a rush to the alter. I’m hoping he’ll come around. I told him the only thing that will change is my last name. He’s the one that proposed to me afterall.
I’ll wait until next April if it’s that important to him, but I am just so excited!
Post # 8
You’ve only been engaged a few weeks–take a deep breath and enjoy it. It’s a big deal for a man to propose, and I think a lot of women make the mistake of rushing their fiance from one really big thing to another…ie, from proposing to picking a date. I think you should just put off the conversation for a while. Give yourselves a month to be engaged, maybe six weeks, and then talk about it. If you do end up deciding to get married this year, you’ll still have time. Bask in the glow of your engagement for a while and give your guy some time to do so as well.
Post # 9
Just a different perspective…. This may sound crazy, but my husband and I actually didn’t have a date confirmed until 7 months after he proposed. I loved that we were engaged for a while before we had to start making a ton of wedding decisions. It really allowed us to enjoy just being engaged.