we can’t agree on where to get married.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I can’t say we did, but I can offer you hive hugs!

Does he truly understand what it means to you? Maybe you could write down all the reasons why, and go over them with him. 

Post # 4
159 posts
Blushing bee

luckily it is totally up to me.  good luck figuring it out.  maybe you could both compromise on WA.  good luck!

Post # 5
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Can you do a small ceremony and reception/dinner for your lake wedding and then have a larger reception/celebration where he wants to have it?

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Sorry.  Why is it so important to him to get married in Bozeman?  Do you really pull for the lake house because you have a lot of memories there?  Or you just like the idea of a lake?  If it’s the second, could you find a lake near Bozeman?

Is he concerned about having it in Bozeman because he fear some friends won’t make it if it’s OOT?  Perhaps getting a feel from those folks will diminish those fears.

Good Luck.

Post # 8
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

CHK, I can somewhat relate, although in a slightly different way.  The H.S. friends coming to visit reason is not a good base for a wedding.  My fiance left his hometown over four years ago when we moved to NYC.  He contacted his friends from "home" constantly to either come visit the city, or meet up with him when he was "up home."  He hasn’t seen most of these "friends" in years.  I feel so sad for him sometimes because I have friends scattered all over the tri-state area and we always find time to see each other.  My feeling is, if the friends wanted to see him, they would.  A wedding isn’t going to suddenly change their attitudes unfortunately.  I hope I am not being too harsh, but I have had to explain this situation to my own Fiance for years…

Post # 10
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

OMG I used to live in Eastern WA (Pullman) and I TOTALLY have to side with you on this; CDA are is soo beautiful and definitely a great midway point.  So yeah.  =)

Post # 11
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We didn’t exactly come across this issue but maybe at this point you both should pick a completely different place that encompasses the things you love about the venues you’re adamant about. That way one person won’t be resentful that the other got their way?

Post # 13
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Has he been to this lake?  Maybe if you bring him there, he’ll appreciate it. 

I agree, having his friends come visit, isn’t a good reason.  Yeah, what if they still don’t come?  They haven’t made time to visit all these years.  And he skipped their weddings too?  I feel for you.

Post # 15
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

If it’s about his friends, why don’t you suggest he have a bachelor’s party weekend in Bozeman? If his friends can’t make the trip for that, they probably wouldn’t have made it for the wedding either.

Post # 16
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

*HUGS* I’m sorry that it’s becoming such are hard point to discuss.

I like the idea of the lake wedding. I think it would be beautiful, the distance is less, etc. etc. etc. But maybe like knapper08 said, you can have a smaller ceremony at the lake with your family and close friends, and then a huge backyard party in Bozeman? It’s still a good reason for his friends to come up!

Have you taken him up to the lake with you? Maybe once he goes, he’ll fall in love with it too?

The only thing I can really think of is you both make up extensive pro/con lists of where you want to get hitched (so he’ll make up a list for Bozeman, and you for the lake) and then compare them. And BE HONEST in these lists. That means trying to list as many cons that you can think of for the locale, but also all the pros. 

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