(Closed) We can’t compromise!!

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Rehearsal dinner isn’t suppose to be for everyone from what I understand.  What’s the point of it if you are just inviting everyone?

Post # 4
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

14 groomsmen!!!!!

Post # 5
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

hm…..i just reread about them being willing to pay for it.  hell, the more the merrier!

Post # 6
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mrs. Meowerson:  I’ve been trying to think of a polite way to say pretty much exactly that, so thanks! 

Post # 7
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@deliciousappleblue: & @Mrs. Meowerson: I think that it’s not about money for her. It is about the intimacy of having a small group and being able to enjoy everyone’s company without being pulled here and there between tons of people.

So, I think you should really talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you have comprimised with the wedding itself by having a lot of people, but that you will not comprimise for the rehearsal dinner. Or have you thought about doing a next day brunch? This will give you a chance to meet with a smaller group of people and recap the day prior.

Post # 8
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We’re inviting all Out of Town guests to our Rehearsal Dinner, as thats what both our families think is best. I wanted a small intimate dinner but its not just about me so since everyone else wanted it that way, thats how we’re doing it. If you want one thing to be small and intimate why don’t you have a bridal brunch or something with just your girls?

Post # 9
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

ahhh you dont have to tell me twice about big families! and this is coming from an italian (me!) i have a semi large family but  my Fiance is one of 13 kids

his mom is one of 12 and his dad is one of 15. his grandma on one side has 76 grandchildren! my small intimate wedding dreams went out the window when i picked him haha.

i dont think you can avoid the big wedding but when it comes to things you can compromise on. like groomsmen and rehearsal then i think you need to sit down and talk. my Future Sister-In-Law had 9 bridesmaids – she ran into the same problem- her grooms just kept picking! so they settled on 9, which is still alot. but they looked pretty all standing up there and it was good for pics too.

I’m pretty sure rehearsals are for immediate family and birdal party (sometimes people include out of town guests) we have 40 people coming to our rehearsal. that is just family, bridal party and SO’s of family and/or bridal party.

I think its fun that your groom is so excited about everything though! but i would try and have a chat about some things that you can control ya know? if his parents are paying for the rehearsal i dont know how much say we get in that – also with invites – but details such as bridal party can def be discussed

 

Post # 10
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee

If they are willing to pay for it, I don’t see the issue.  All those things you mentioned are not abnormal for large italian families that is what you are marrying into.  I think as long as they are willing to pay, let them invite who they want.  FYI, we also invited Out of Town guests to our rehearsal dinner, I think it’s rude not too.

Post # 13
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@tranquility: Oh, of course, I know that.  I just mean, if she’s getting a free wedding at the cost of a few extra guests, she should probably just… suck it up, I guess.  I don’t know how else to put it.  It sucks that she can’t have a smaller wedding, but she must have at least suspected this could happen, knowing his culture and having met at least some of his family before, right?  He shouldn’t have to sacrifice his culture or expectations just so she can have a more intimate wedding, especially not if his family is willing to cover it.  Tone it down a bit, sure (14 is a LOT of guys), but not completely go the other way. 

I’m sure there are things you can do to make at least part of your wedding feel more intimate.

Post # 15
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@deliciousappleblue: yeah, im with you here, buddy.  i understand wanting the intimate wedding, onk, but in the grand scheme of things, having people want to throw too much money and make a big deal out of your wedding isn’t the worst problem you could have.  just focus on the honeymoon- that’ll definitely be intimate!

Post # 16
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@onk17: Oh, well if they’re not paying for everything, I guess that’s different.  Who is paying for the rehearsal dinner, isn’t that traditionally the groom’s parents?  Because if they are paying the whole cost, then I guess you’re kind of stuck with it.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t expect your rehearsal dinner to bascially be a second wedding.  That’s a bit nuts, you’re right.

@Mrs. Meowerson: Lol yeah. I wish I had that problem.

The topic ‘We can’t compromise!!’ is closed to new replies.

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