(Closed) “We could just go to the courthouse”

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I thought about that before, and now. My Fiance is calling that the money saver plan in our early wedding planning.

A couple years ago we almost went and signed papers, I was going to lose my health insurance and could get it through him so he mentioned it. We didn’t really want to do that and more seriously considered a domestic partnership because in our state I could get his health insurance with a domestic partnership. I ended up working things out with my insurance so we didn’t do it.

Post # 4
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d like it better than waiting another two years!  I don’t feel comfortable going to church while I’m living with my boyfriend – not so much going to the service, but getting involved in one (which to me is a great deal of the point.)  “Oh, I want you to accept me as part of your family, but I’m not willing to abide by the church’s beliefs.”  Really?  And I want to go back to church.  I miss being part of a church family.  But dang it!  He’s not willing to get officially engaged yet.  That tacks on a “and I’m not planning to.”  I’m pretty sure he’d never go for the courthouse wedding – he’ll want the wedding in my hometown, where both of our families can take part…  Grrr!

Post # 5
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would try not to worry too much about what people around you think. As long as you have plans in place for making it official. My boy feels very strongly about being able to provide financially and affording the wedding, hence the waiting!

In Australia, we are actually qualified as a domestic partnership (you have to be living together 2 years I think or own property together) so in the eyes of the law we are as good as married – so our legal rights are protected. So we often say we are just saving up for the party side of it!

Everyone’s journey to marriage is a bit different and you should do what feels right for you – not what other people say is right

Post # 6
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Wow! I’m impressed that a 23 year old male would actually suggest going to the courthouse! You know he’s on board now, right?

I’d do it. I’d do it in a second. Especially if there were other factors (money, living together, etc) that made it difficult to have a wedding or important that we were married, I’d go to the courthouse.  I’ve even thought about doing it before moving in, and having a big wedding later. Partially becuase I really want to live with my guy and I’m a little scared of wedding planning. My secret fear is that once I get engaged and move in, I’ll lose the motivation necessary to plan the actual wedding. “Why buy the cow” when I’ve already gotten what I want (living together/commitment/ring).  And we’ll just be engaged for 100 years 🙂

My situation is a bit different becuase I’m a bit older than you and so is my guy….and it’s *easy for me to say* I’d do it becuase there’s NO WAY IN HELL my super traditional Boyfriend or Best Friend would do a courthouse wedding.

I think it’s great that this is bringing out new feelings for you.  I have a Girlfriend who was so focused on whether or not her guy would commit, she always paying attention to her own feelings. So when he finally said “if it’s important for you to get married, I’ll do it. Let’s go to the courthouse! ” she started having doubts and feeling her feelings like fear of commitment, etc.

Just explore what you really want, with the freedom to know that you can be married to him tomorrow if you want!

Post # 7
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@CupcakeLove: that is so awesome your legal rights are protected, by the way! Good for Australia!

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