Post # 1
My Fiance and I have decided to elope! And we are moving the wedding forward to the 9th of Septemeber, 2013.
We are SO excited!! When we first got engaged, I suggested it, but he wanted a “proper” wedding. So, I got busy planning. Then he came out with wanting to elope! AND move the wedding closer (which was something he was so against, saying waiting until 2014 “felt right”). What changed his mind, “it is silly to wait when I know I love you, know that we will both do whatever it takes to make this marriage work.”
I am so happy :-).
But now we have to tell his family (and mine).His father already had a hissyfit when we mentioned how small our wedding guest list was… I don’t know how he will react when he isn’t ON the list…! We are planning on having a reception the week after we marry, as a way to have everyone who wants to celebrate the chance to do so…
How would you/did you go about telling your family this sort of news?
Post # 3
I wonder about this as well, as im seriously considering elopement myself, but i dont want to dissapoint our families. im the youngest out of 3, none of us has ever been married, we’re all 30+ yrs old. so i feel like im taking that experience away from my parents to finally see me on my BiG day.
theres not alot of ways you can tell them this, i wouldnt do phone or email kindof impersonal. a sit down with your loved ones about the update should suffice. if you drink id have a couple of shots first before you meet them 😡 lol.
Post # 4
@misscakeandtea: Congratulations! That’s so exciting! I’m sorry it may be stressful to tell your family, but then again maybe they’ll take it better than you fear. I would definitely share the news in a very positive and upbeat attitude and remind everyone that it’s about the love the two of you share and how happy it makes you. Also segue right to the fact that you still want to have a reception afterwards to celebrate the event with loved ones.
I agree that it can’t be done over email of a phone call. Maybe after a family dinner and over dessert and/or after dinner drinks? Do you have a sympathetic parent or two that you can tell ahead of time to be the one who helps others accept it? He/she wouldn’t have to let on that they knew ahead of time, but it might help others simmer down (i.e. your FFIL) if someone with a calm and happy reaction speaks first.
Also, the two of you should sit down and make sure you are of one mind when it comes to answering questions. You may not be able to anticipate every question, but I’m sure you’ll have an idea of the big ones, and can make sure to agree ahead of time to what y’all want to say. Good luck!
Post # 5
Thank you!! We shall be telling them separately (because of a 1500km distance…) but I think that might actually be an advantage!!
Post # 6
but I’m a bit confused. You say you are eloping, and then you say you are moving the “wedding” earlier. Do you mean the small reception you are planning afterwards?
Are you now planning more of a “honeymoon wedding” where you get married abroad on a trip? or doing a court house ceremony before jetting off somewhere, and then having the reception when you get back?
however you do it, you seem excited so I’m excited for you! I wouldn’t have traded my wedding day for anything, but we really wanted our families to meet each other, and we managed to do it without a lot of stress.
Best of luck!
Post # 7
If you are eloping, you don’t have to tell them until after, really. We simply sent our families a picture of us holding a “we eloped” sign.
Post # 8
I am in kind of the same boat — but I am doing more of a “private wedding” type of thing because I never intended to keep it a secret. I just told my mom that even as a little girl, I never pictured myself having a traditional wedding, and now with family issues, and things that have happened since I have gotten older, the more I know that it is not the logical decision for me to make.
Of course she is upset, and she even said she was upset because of selfish reasons, that she was thinking about what was best for her, and not best for me. I just hope that one day she’ll get over it — all weddings are the same.
Anyway, you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to. You may cause less hurt feelings, if that is what you care about, just making it a surprise, that way you won’t have months and months of talking about your wedding that no one is going to attend. Whatever you do, whenever you do it, just be kind, but firm.