(Closed) We dont drink but we dont want to look cheap to our guests?

posted 4 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would put a drink maximum in place. I don’t know how else you’d control the big drinkers. Or say you’ll pay for the first drink, but the rest is on them or something.

I think that’s fair. I don’t drink much at all and I would think it was odd if I couldn’t even have ONE drink.. I would think the hosts were cheap honestly.

Post # 4
635 posts
Busy bee

Pay for champaign only. Nobody particilarly likes it, so any sane drinker will just head over to the bar and buy themselves something they actually enjoy. Just make sure you communicate to the bar tender you are not starting a tab, nor paying for drinks that aren’t belchwine.

Post # 5
403 posts
Helper bee

Could you offer wine and beer?

Post # 6
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Maybe offer wine with dinner that you pay for?  I’m not a big drinker but I will usually have a glass of wine with dinner for a celebration. This way you’re limiting drink options and the time period in which it is served. Maybe that will help from the bill being too steep?

Post # 7
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Bracelet00:  I think this is probably the best solution BUT I also want to point out that champagne is awesome and anyone who doesn’t like it is missing out.

Post # 8
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here … lol

To be perfectly honest there is nothing wrong with opting to have a DRY Wedding if that is something you have been wondering.

And there is nothing wrong with having an Open Bar either at the other extreme…

But what most people don’t know, is there indeed quite a bit of latitude in the middle as well.

You could offer everyone a Welcome Drink… be it Punch – Signature Cocktail – or a Drink of their choice.

OR as another Bee mentioned you could just provide Bubbly… very festive for a Wedding.

OR you could offer Wine thru the Meal… this is usally accomplished by purchaing by the Bottle or Litre (Caraffe on the table).

OR a Bar that provides Beer & Wine…

OR a White Bar… White Rum – Vodka – Gin – and White Wine

And if you are Canadian there is also the “Co-Host” Bar option known as a Loonie or Twoonie Bar that helps offset the cost of Alcohol

There are lots of options, a lot depends on your Budget, your concerns, and the Customs / Traditions that are the norm for your social circle.

This should get you started, if you have questions about the specifics / particulars just ask

Hope this helps,


Post # 9
635 posts
Busy bee

@likewoah:  My experience may be skewed based on my circle of friends being a bunch of uncouth twentysomethings, but I have never seen any of them order champaign in a bar, or bring champaign to a party. Even the wine drinkers have other things they prefer. The exception is mimosas, which only kind of count, and Andre, which is drunk ironically, as it is cheap, wretched, and shares the name of one of our friends.


Even then, it is often made into Sunny Delight mimosas. So, as I said…. Uncouth.

Post # 10
7994 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d offer wine and beer.

Post # 11
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Bracelet00:  I’m an uncouth twenty-something as well, and my friends and I looovveeee champagne. It’s delicious and lets us pretend we’re classy people (we’re not). Give it another try. 🙂

Post # 12
130 posts
Blushing bee

@chantal.breanne.3: I understand your dilemma. I do not drink, and neither does my SO. My immediate family does not drink, although all of my extended family does. We don’t want to appear cheap at our wedding either, but I don’t feel comfortable serving alcohol.

If you are fine with people ordering drinks, you can:

  1. get people to pick order drinks from the waiters and put a drink maximum in place.
  2. get guests to pick up their own drinks from the bar while picking up their food (in keeping with the buffet theme)
  3. you can have a cash bar, so anyone who wants to drink can pay a small amount, which you can subsidize or guests can pay in full. 

Post # 13
635 posts
Busy bee

@likewoah:  It has a chance every December 31st at midnight. And then by 12:10, I am back to my old friends whiskey and gin. 


More to the point of the thread though, as a champaign hater, I’ll take a skinny little flute, filled a third of the way after the bubbles settle, to have a novelty amount to toast a new couple, or sometimes just keep on and raise whatever booze I already have in hand. As a member of the pro champaign group, if you were in a wedding that only served it but also had a cash bar on site, would you, or your champaign enjoying friends hypothetically drink several servings of it, or would you be more likely to go with just one or two flutes?

Post # 14
1260 posts
Bumble bee

I believe providing beer and wine would be a fair middle ground.

Post # 15
6168 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just provide beer/wine, or nothing at all. I find it incredibly awkward to have guests pay for drinks at a wedding, but that’s just my own personal opinion. 

FWIW, DH doesn’t drink, and while I don’t have an issue with it (and did in the past), I don’t in support of my DH. However, all of our friends and family are drinkers (some excessively, which is why DH doesn’t drink – he’s just been around the stupid behavior too much growing up). We had a full open bar, and while peopel got drunk no one was out of control. My point being, even though we don’t drink we don’t have any issue with others drinking and were happy to host it for our guests. 

Post # 16
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

That’s a good question… I’d pay for a very cheap type of alcohol (maybe a keg?) and have the rest be cash bar. 

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