Post # 1
SO and I had a bit of an argument yesterday. It was very unusual. We ended up talking a lot and admitting something to ourselves and each other….. we have nothing in common.
Sure, we share a few interests, like rock climbing, nerdy interests, shows we like, and sports, but he pointed out the fact that while that is all fine and well, there is nothing that we both have extreme interest in. For example, he loves basketball and follows the stats and watching games and recaps all the time, while I am constantly following updates on art research and new preservation techniques for art. He was really concerned that because we don’t have something that we can come home and talk about it, or something that we spend a lot of time working on or talking about together that something is wrong and that we should not get married without having an ‘our’ thing.
As I said, we spent a long time talking about this topic and finally we realized that we do have one thing in common that we both kind of obsess over – theatre. We both LOVE to act, dance and sing. We have taken classes, we were both Thespians in our respective high schools, but we haven’t had a chance to really do much lately because he graduated and is now searching for a job while I am graduating and will be going back to school. We are hoping to join a local theatre to help with this.
However, the way that he put it is what is what got me wondering if he is right or not. He thinks all couples have an ‘our thing’, something that is a mutual obsession, if you will, that they do together and both enjoy the same amount.
Post # 3
Sounds like you guys have more of a “thing” than we do! We have nothing in common other than a couple of TV shows we both like to watch. That’s it. I mean, we both come from similar family backgrounds and have similar core values, but other than that, we have nothing in common. Haha!
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I actually can’t say we have things we both obsess over. FI is way into motorcycles and cars. Because of his interest, I got my bike license and watch races with him. I am super into umm I don’t know, maybe comics and telelvision shows/cartoons. Because of my interest he watches with me and sometimes will read stuff if I insist on it. I honestly can’t say there is anything we are both die hard super into at the same level!!
Post # 5
@Booknerd: I wrote a post about the exact same thing last week. Something a Bee told me was something a councillor told her “he can see where you are blind”. it resonates with me. We both bring different things to the relationship and broadens each others horizons. Celebrate your differences!
Post # 6
Running. We do it together. Well, we do races together and usually train on our own (we have conflicting work schedules), but it’s a shared interest and we talk about it. 🙂
And, college football!!
Post # 7
We have the same passions, but also like very different things. OP, it sounds like theater is it for you two- so you figured it out.
We do both love love love being outdoors- camping, boating, fishing, swimming, hiking, climbing. However, he loves hunting and I prefer to sleep 🙂 and I am interested in survivial, he is obsessed with outdoor survival. So we differ even among our interests. We also love art. We love making it, we love brainstorming it, we love going to witness it live.
I am a musician and Darling Husband is the first person I have been with that wasn’t. I have slowly been trying to get him to sing along with me and I bought him a drum to accompany me. I hope to continue to develop this with him. It is a huge part of me- the only thing my family can do and get along (doing)!
Post # 8
We have things we do together (like play tennis, bowling leagues, watching football, wine, etc) but none of them are things we obsess over.
Post # 9
We don’t really have an “our thing” except that we both have jobs and degrees in the same field. But that being said, we both love different sports which were “our things” respectively, which we introduced each other to and now we do both.
Post # 10
@allyouneedislove: That’s pretty much us exactly! What matters, I think, is that we are interested in hearing about why it means so much to the other person. While I am not even remotely interested in or adept at coding, but he loves it and gets really excited about new projects that he does for himself. I love reading, but he doesn’t really have the attention span for it because it’s not interactive in a problem-solving sort of way. But he loves how in love I get with these books and their characters, and I love how in love he is with overcoming obstacles in his programming that have had him stumped for a few days.
To me, it’s not all about having one major THING in common. What you have most in common is each other. Your love for each other and the love of seeing each other happy and passionate and excited, even if it’s not something the other person understands.
Post # 11
Take interest in one another or develop a new hobby. I introduced my Fiance to geo caching which is totally nerdy but we like doing it together. We also like to eat together. Haha! He loves to cook , I love to bake and we both love to eat. He runs and I tried to take that up but it just didn’t work out for my knees. I would say that the most important thing we have in common is that we love each other.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t say that Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have ONE thing that we both obsess over but we do love to go hiking and we also go work out at the Y. We have also tried to start playing tennis so there’s that. We’re both trying to lose weight and be a more active couple. BF took a fencing class this semester and he fell in love with it so he’s trying to spark my interest in fencing as well.
We also love to read but our taste in books are very different. And he loves watching cartoons like Adventure Time and South Park, etc and I don’t. I love watching all the real estate shows on the HGTV channel and he tolerates it. We do love watching Hoarders though, we crack each other up with our running commentaries throughout the episode.
So we do have shared interests and hobbies in common but I wouldn’t say that we obsess over any of them.
But it’s weird to me that your SO thinks ya’ll need one thing to obsess over for you to get married. I think he’s just misinformed and panicking a little bit. I wonder if he got this idea from another couple and that’s why he’s worried about it. Hmm. Tal to him about it and see why he’s so bothered by it.
Post # 13
@MrsM914: Ooh, I’ve always wanted to try geocaching, it sounds like a lot of fun! How do you get started?
Post # 14
@LadyBlackheart: That is EXACTLY what I thought! I was like – one of his friends HAD to have asked him or mentioned this! He’s been talking to his friends lately about their advice on proposing/marriage.
Thanks so much ladies – I just mainly want to know if we are alone or if this a common thing.
Post # 15
Fiance and I have a lot of general little things in common, but nothing with any real gusto or passion. I wish he would get into outdoors activities with me. It’s on my bucket list to go camping and hiking near a waterfall early this summer, and I get really bummed thinking about having to twist his arm to get him in the spirit of this!
I like what @ellisrobertson said about having your love for each other in common! 🙂 That’s a great way to put things into perspective. Out of that love maybe you two could make an effort to do more together, something that involves theatre, singing and dancing.
Post # 16
@LadyBlackheart: There is a geocaching website. http://www.geocaching.com. Go there to get more info. If you have a smart phone they have an app you can download for $10. It will tell you the nearest caches, their difficulty level and hints. Then you can use the phone’s gps to guide you to the coordinates. It really is a lot of fun. Good luck!