Post # 1
Looking for some advice….
I am getting married in August, this is my first wedding and my soon to be husbands second. We both own houses and are already combining 2 households into one so we do not have a lot of things we need (i.e. toasters, kitchen aid mixers, mixing bowls) we already have all of that and in most cases multiple.
I originally said I did not want a bridal shower (mainly because it wasn’t something that was incredibly important to me) my parents are helping us pay for a majority of our wedding and I really didn’t want my mom to spend any more money on another party for me. She is more than willing, I’m just not super comfortable with it. The main reason for that is because we are in the process of a major renovation to his house to make it a home for the 6 of us (we each have two children).
We talked about having a big BBQ and just inviting our family and maybe a few close friends to the house once our remodel is done. We both really liked that idea.
Last weekend I was approached by a few of my aunts and they said they would really like to give us something as a bridal shower gift. I told them about our BBQ and I got to thinking….people are going to ask about gifts for that. How should I handle it?
I have been invited to weddings/showers where they have a Zola account for things like honeymoon, new windows for their house, etc.
Like I mentioned above we are in the processes of a major renovation. Since we do not need any household items (I would put a few on a registry but not many) could we set something up to help our house become a home?
We are paying for the remodel with our savings so we will be wiped out after it’s all done. I guess the main questions is how do I communicate that we do not need any more “stuff.” Gifts are not necessary but if they do feel the need to give a gift that it be monetary?
Post # 2
If you don’t register you’ll just likely get cash. If people ask where you’re registered/what you want you can just say you’re in the middle of a home reno and that’s your focus for now. People will get the point.
Post # 3
Just don’t register. Asking for monetary gifts outright though is usually considered tacky.
Post # 4
I think Home Depot and Lowes have registries! You could always register there for your home renovation stuff.
But if you really don’t want anything, just don’t register. People will still get you gifts regardless, but most people will get the hint.
Post # 5
yeah don’t register, and IF they ask, let them know about the renovation.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
newbee959 : Best advice is to simply not register and when people ask just say “Oh well, we already have everythign we need so we have not registered”. People usually take the hitn and give you money.
OR, do what I did, because I have some sticklers that if I did not have a registry would just go out and pick something themselves (SUPER ANNOYING), and register for only a few items that you would like to have. That way those who want to buy something will purchase those fast and once there is nothing left everyone else will just give cash!
Post # 7
Just have a themed shower. Recipe- have everyone bring their fav recipes you can put in a book, stock the bar shower, etc no matter where I’d move alcohol is always welcomed.
Post # 8
People don’t need to be told that cash is a good gift. If someone asks where you’ve registered, tell them that you didn’t register because you don’t need anything. They’ll get the hint.
If you don’t want a shower, where gifts are given, don’t have a shower.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2019 - Mountains
We are in the same boat. We suggested gift cards and listed a few stores on our website. If people want to write us a check or give us gifts we don’t need that’s fine too. We are not having a shower.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
I think Zola you can even just label it as cash fund. I do not think it needs to be labelled as anything in particular like honeymoon or home, etc. You can even ask for gift cards if anything.
I did a honeymoon fund off Zola too and it just was way better to me because I also did not need stuff.
The one setback is some people are not keen on cash gifts because they feel awkward not knowing how much is appropriate to give. So you could also just make suggested amounts.
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2019 - USA
newbee959 : We did a honeymoon fund, but honestly if you just don’t register anywhere people will give you cash.
Post # 12
We just didn’t say anything about gifts. When asked we said give whatever you like, but we will have a wishing well there on the day. With a limited few close friends I mentioned cash is the preference but again up to people whatever they want to do, as we’ll be happy either way.
Most people gave cash but a few did give gifts which is fine as well. It’s good to give them options I think.