We don’t need gifts from the registry…how do we ask for cash

posted 7 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

IMO…you don’t put the word out.

Weddings aren’t held to get gifts. They’re just a bonus.

If you want cash, I think the best bet is to just not register. People will figure it out.

But there are a few that will STILL buy you some crystal nick nack so having a small registry that reflects your taste isn’t a bad idea.

I think the most you can do is let those closest to you (parents, bridal party, etc.) know that IF people ask, you could use cash more than anything else.

Post # 4
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We did a “Honeymoon Registry” where people purchased certain “items” (dollar amounts). At the end of the day, we just got a check from Travelers Joy, and could use it however we deemed fit, which we did spend it on our honeymoon!

Post # 5
Member
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

You cannot ask for money at a bridal shower, the whole point of the party is to shower you with gifts. You can ask whoever is hosting to throw a themed shower for stuff you do need or not have one at all.

As for the wedding itself your best bet is to not register at all or even start a honeymoon registry. I do not think there is any polite way to ask for cash in an invitation.

Hopefully someone else can give you info on a money tree, I will say though that if they aren’t done in your circle its going to be odd to randomly have one at your wedding (same goes for a dollar dance).

Post # 6
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Also, I think the purpose of a shower is the “shower” the couple with gifts to help start their lives together. If you really don’t want those gifts, I think you just don’t have a shower. I can’t imagine a shower with something other than actual presents gifts…

Post # 7
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

My fiance and I have lived together for 6 years yet we still registered. Do we need 90% of the stuff on our registry? Nope, but there are things that we would like

Generally speaking, shower guests are going to give you gifts, not cash. If you don’t register, you’ll probably end up with a lot of junk that you don’t want. I would suggest starting a small registry with some upgrades for things you currently have or a few splurge items (nice set of sheets, new towels, maybe a Dyson if you don’t already have one).

As for the wedding, where I’m from the majority of wedding gifts are monetary but if it’s different in your circle then you could have the completion date of your registry be your shower date. That way if guests go to check your registry it will already be closed which would indicate that perhaps you’d prefer cash. Our friends did this when they got married and it worked out exactly how they wanted.

To answer your original question, you can’t just come out and ask for cash but you can do things (like what I mentioned above) to imply that cash would be preferred. 

Post # 8
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree, don’t have a shower if you don’t want gifts. You could have a themed shower, like a lingerie shower or a travel shower, but don’t expect anyone to bring cash to a bridal shower.

Post # 9
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

We registered for enough stuff for the shower, and had a honeymoon registry. There will be people who are not comfortable giving cash. Plus half the time at the shower, you just watch people open up gifts. What would you do at yours? LOL

Post # 10
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would register for upgrades on the stuff you already have.  My husband and I had lived together for over 5 years when we got married.  Sure, we had tons of stuff, but it was great to ask for nicer stuff.  I donated the “older” stuff to my cousins who were trying to put together an apartment post-college.  Worked out for everyone.

Post # 11
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

Look at honeyfund.com and go to “Create a Honeyfund”.  It gives you your options for your registry so guests can donate money to your honeymoon, flight/hotel, gift baskets, or even a house downpayment fund.  You would list this as your registry along with or instead of a store registry. 

I understand where you’re coming from.  You have what you need as far as home goods go, but what would really help you out is money.  Tell your family this and let word spread like that, but it’s in poor taste to just come out and ask people for money.  Registries like Honeyfund are the only way I know of to get around that. I would still add at least a small registry at one store or another to give your guests the option, though because I know of some people who don’t even like the idea of a Honeyfund.

Post # 12
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We’re going to keep our registry light…just a few must-need items like upgrading our pots/pans and some new towels and sheets and pillows and that’s IT. Hopefully we’ll get gifts of money when the registry runs out…

I know a ton of our guests (the older crowd) would not be comfortable doing anything with honeyfund.com or any sites like that so we aren’t going to do that.

We’re going to emphasize to our parents that we need cash so that they can spread the word if asked what we want/need.

Post # 13
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

There is no polite way to ask for cash.  Plus, there are some people, like myself, who aren’t comfortable giving cash for a gift and won’t do it.  Period.

If you don’t want physical gifts, don’t have a shower.  As PPs said, the whole point of a bridal shower is to “shower” the bride with physical gifts.

ETA: I am also among the group of people who aren’t comfortable with the honeymoon registry websites and would also not purchase a gift from those.  IMO, they are identical to asking for (and gifting) cash.

Post # 14
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

For bridal shower, you get gifts not money. If you don’t want gifts don’t have a shower. I don’t want house things for bridal shower so I asked my host for something like shoes, bags or lingerie themed shower. As for the wedding… we’re not registering, but we are doing some sort of honey fund for the honeymoon.

Post # 15
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I hope I am not slaughtered here but………If you really need cash….Register at Bed Bath and Beyond- then get the gifts and return then- as long as they were purchased off your registry then BB&B will give cash back for the gifts if you return them.  Just make sure in your thank you’s you thank them for the actual gift that they gave you.

Post # 16
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I told my mother and any relatives who asked her advice about gifts she told them our preference. We got about 55% of our gifts in money or gift card form, so I was happy.

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