Post # 1
My fiance and I are both college students, we have our own apartments and all the stuff that goes along with it. Neither of us feels like we need anything and I feel it would be silly to register for gifts we don’t want.
We’d honestly prefer money but I’ve heard it is rude to ask for cash, and rude to ask for no gifts.
I’ve heard of honeymoon registries– does anyone think that is tacky? It’s like asking for cash but in a different way.
Anyone know of other polite ways to ask for cash? I once saw a couple that said something like, “Your presence is the only gift we ask for, however if you’d like to get us something, we’re both paying off our student loans and can always use cash” but they said it in a better way.
Post # 3
me and my Fiance are in the same boat, except we already live together and dont need anything house-wise. we created a registry on hatchmyhouse.com, it’s really cute. its basically a cash registry. and no, i dont think honeymoon registries are tacky either. imo, i dont wanna give the bride and groom things they DONT want.. and if what they want is cash for a nicer honeymoon or for a downpayment on a house, so be it!
we also created a bbb registry for traditionalists and added a few things there (like misc things i would never buy on my own, but would be cool to have – ice cream maker!! hehe). people have taken advantage of both so far, and i think if you list it, people will get the point.
Post # 4
Maybe don’t say/write anything at all. Set a registry on a travel site. Chances are that some of your guests will ask you or your bridal party where you are registered. You can then say that you are saving for a trip on ____.com, but decided to not do a traditional registry.
Some will donate that way, others may send you a card. And yet others may select a more traditional gift for you too. (It may not be something you need, but those little “bonus” things are wonderful too, and you will remember who gave you the crystal vase 50 years down the road:)
Post # 5
We are also not having a registry. We have been living together for just over 10 years and feel it would be silly to register because, like you, we already have everything, plus most of our guests will be traveling to us and we feel that the money and time they are putting in to just being here on our day is present enough. When approached by guests, I just let them know these things and also let them know that we will have a card box at the wedding, so if they just want to write us a note, that would be awesome.
Post # 6
Don’t make a registry and when people ask (they will), just say that your needs are monetary right now. If these people are your close friends and family, which I assume they are if they will be at your wedding, they will understand.
Post # 7
This is a matter of much debate and strikingly divergent views. You need to assess what is right for you and your Fiance within your familial/social/cultural context.
For my Fiance and I and our situation, it is perfectly acceptable and not rude and even appreciated and convenient to our guests to set up a wedding website, one page of which is called “registry” and which has a link to “Deposit A Gift” ( http://www.depositagift.com ).
I am 38 my Fiance is 42, we have already consolidated our two houses in to one and gutted the house to add a bathroom and totally redo the kitchen and set it all up again, and so we dont need more “stuff”…we need nothing that a traditional registry would offer. In fact, we would be happy with few gifts and just the presence of our guests. The DAG site allows us to offer our guests desiring to gift us a way to do so that would be mutually beneficial. The DAG site allows us to set up categories for gifts for the home, such as a fridge or mattress or fence, for our honeymoon such as hotel fare or excursions, and even for our local charity.
Post # 8
For my shower, I registered for some things that needed replacing. My invitations stated I was registered at Macys and Crate and Barrel, gift cards to Lowes and Home Depot would also be appreciated. We got a lot of gift cards–I think people were happy to send their husbands out for the gift:) Our wedding invites had nothing about gifts, of course. For my family/friends, asking for cash would be tacky. Most of them give cash as gifts anyway.
Post # 9
In my circle, asking for cash would be frowned upon, but that may not be the case in yours.
Do set up a small registry for guests who like to give a tangible gift (that may help you avoid receiving some super odd gifts), and then if you think your friends and families will be okay with a “give me cash” registry then go for it.
I do think the “give me cash” registries are a little less jarring than just a note saying “give me cash”, but again that may vary.
Post # 10
We just aren’t registering at all. When people ask, we just tell them that we have two houses full of stuff to sort through already and just want people to come and have a good time.
Post # 11
We are not registering either. We’re moving into my home which has (almost) everything we already need. We are not writing anything on our invites or wedding website, and then if anyone asks our parents, they will tell them that we are not registered/money would be a more practical gift. If our friends ask, I have no qualms about telling them in person/over the phone. But I’m not going to put it in writing!
Post # 12
i don’t think honeymoon registries are tacky. i think a lot of people would be happy knowing they are contributing to you and your Fiance having a great trip to start off your marriage together=)
Post # 13
A couple of friends of mine recently got married. They too did not want to register. Instead they asked guests to contribute to organizations such as Habitat for Humanity and local food banks. They worded it like “we would value your contribution to one of our favorite charities.”
Just an idea!
Post # 14
Same boat. We don’t need/want anything apart from happy guests celebrating with us. So we “registered” at a website that connects people with our top three favorite charities. We posted a link to this site on our wedding website. Hope people use it…