Post # 1
My fiance and I are going to meet with our pastor soon to plot out our ceremony. He and I do not want a unity candle or sand (or similar) or the hand-mom-a-flower thing. We don’t jump brooms or smash glasses wrapped in cloth or tie ropes in knots. I’ve heard of wine boxes, but that’s not really our thing (and I don’t think a whiskey box would work in church).
My mom asked me what on earth we were going to do up there besides say our vows.
Uh… do we have to do anything else?
I want our ceremony to be personal and special and I think we’ve covered that in the vow-writing and music selections. We’re very fortunate that my fiance’s relative is a minister and he’ll be officiating, so we have a certain amount of wiggle room with the traditional Protestant ceremony. I just don’t know what to do with that.
What else COULD we do? Should we do anything?
Post # 3
You don’t have to do anthing if you don’t want to. If vows and exchanging rings are enough, then do just that!
Post # 4
The wedding itself with the exchange of vows is a unity ceremony, despite what many people believe. So you dont need unity candles, handfastings, wine exchanges, etc. If someone doesn’t like it, too bad. Your ceremony, your decision. The only legal requirement is the vows and that is all that some people want – nothing wrong with that and it is actually extremely common to go that simple. There is no time frame requirement that you have to fill with fluff you don;t want.
Post # 5
Ditto the PP. We are not doing anything other than saying vows and exchanging rings. No readings, nothing. Short, sweet and to the point. We both come from large, Catholic families that often do a full Mass but that is not what fits us. Luckily, our families have no problem with it.
Do what makes you and Fiance happy. You’ll still be married at the end of it!
Post # 6
Our ceremony lasted less than 5 minutes. It involved a brief welcome statement, vows, exchange of rings, and kiss. Bam, married. It was perfect for us. 😀
Post # 7
No. It is ok to have a short Ceremony. I usually feel that people add unit- whatnot to lengthen the ceremony, to appease their parents, and to give them something to do. Your ceremony will be a reflection of you, and that is perfect.
Post # 8
No one has to do anything for their wedding. You can go to the courthouse and have a 2 minute ceremony, you can have an elaborate Disney wedding. Pick what traditions you like and go for it. Ditch the ones that aren’t special for you.
Post # 9
all I did for my wedding was exchange rings and exchange vows. END.
Post # 10
I have never been to a wedding that did a single thing that you mentioned (although I do know that the unity sand/candle thing is common in other circles). We are not doing anything like that throughout our ceremony, so you are definitely not alone in your desire to keep the ceremony simple and personal. I say just do what feels right to the two of you, because that’s who/what really matters!
Post # 13
you dont have to do anything! we dont like the sand box things either – but we are doing a unity cross and just placing the inside cross inside the outer cross. just means something like the inside is the woman, delicate intricate lovely etc and the outer is the base, the strength and foundation to represent the man. you can google it!
Post # 14
We aren’t doing anything ‘extra’
Post # 15
We didn’t do very much tradition-wise. No unity candle, sand, etc. No bouquet or garter toss. No mother-son dance. And it was perfect.
Post # 16
Darling Husband and I only said our vows. I like things short and sweet 🙂